How To Understand People

Life is too short to live on autopilot all the time . While some routine is good, too much of it can make us feel as though our lives are stuck in a holding pattern. The axiom "variety is the spice of life" isn't just some tired cliché. The more you continue to do things in exactly the same manner, the less you grow. Rather than being focused on the here and now -- and what the future will bring -- you're stuck in your old tried-and-true ways. In the long run, this will only breed discontentment and regret. Even little changes can make a considerable difference: Taking a slightly different route to and from work Trying out different restaurants  Checking out new events in town Going to the gym in the morning some days and in the evening on others Broadening your horizons by exploring new cities/countries Changing your look every so often (e.g., different haircut or wardrobe) Eating lunch at different times on different days Considering new job opportun...

No matter how nice and accommodating you may be toward friends and family, you can't control their loyalty towards you. Never expect that just because you act a certain way toward someone, they'll immediately turn around and reciprocate. In a perfect world, everyone would be disposed to scratching our back when we scratch theirs, but there are no guarantees in life. Some people are takers far more than they are givers. They're out to benefit themselves and pay little attention to the plight of those they have the audacity to call a friend or loved one. Especially telling is when they vanish into thin air upon learning that someone needs help. A good person sticks by through thick and thin. Of course, we all have obligations -- work, children, community service, and the like -- that may prevent us from getting as deeply involved as we'd like. But if we're fed every excuse in the book for why a person can never be there for us, it starts to feel dising...

You exercise. You lower your food portions. You eat healthy. You do everything you know you're supposed to do in order to shed some pounds. And yet, you step on the scale and, to your dismay, your weight doesn't go down; in some cases, it even goes up! Doesn't make any sense, does it? I have found myself in a similar conundrum over the years. Eventually, it dawned on me that my near-obsessive habit of drinking Diet Coke was probably working against me. When I probed even deeper, I realized that depriving my body of water was likely making it more difficult to lose weight. I mistakenly assumed that drinking more water would make your body retain more of it. But the exact opposite is true: The less water you drink, the more your body hoards whatever water you have in your system, thereby making you heavier.  I learned years ago that my dark yellow urine likely meant I was dehydrated. (A pale color with a tinge of yellow, on the other hand, suggests the bod...

When life knocks you down, refuse to give up. Get back on your feet and hit it back -- and go for nothing short of the jugular! You're in the driver's seat of your life. Never let other people -- or circumstances over which you may have little to no control -- get in the way of your happiness. Life is too short not to fight for what you want. Life is too short to throw in the towel anytime something doesn't go as planned -- whether you didn't get the job or the girl. Instead of wallowing in self-pity, focus your energies on what lies ahead. Instead of thinking that you missed out, consider that even better opportunities are in the offing. Maybe all it takes is to work a little harder and fine-tune your approach. If something bothers you too much -- if it has you down in the dumps -- it's because you're letting it have control over your thoughts and feelings. Don't let anything negative hold so much sway over you! For example, let's say someon...

The human brain is our most powerful organ, yet it is also among the least understood. This is precisely what drove me to create a blog that centers on how we can better understand human behavior. A sharp mind can make the difference between a good memory and a foggy one, not to mention the mind exerts a powerful influence on our mood, self-esteem, and overall outlook on life. Below I've compiled 23 fascinating research-backed facts about the human mind that I hope you'll find as intriguing as I do: 1. The mind is often defined as a system of one's mental processes or psychic abilities. 2. Philosophers have used a broad array of metaphors to describe this complex organ, including a television switchboard, a blank sheet, or a hydraulic device with disparate forces operating in it. 3. Attempts to grasp the inner workings of the mind stretch back at least to the ancient Greeks. For one, Leibniz and Descartes believed the mind acquired knowledge via reasoning and th...

Don't rely on people to be happy. Turn to them to be happier.  Notice the subtle difference in wording. Counting on someone to be happy-- whether it's a friend or partner -- means that everything from your mood to your self-value is inextricably tied to how that person makes you feel. You're essentially conditioning whether you have a great day (or life) on him or her. I don't know about you, but to me that seems like an awful lot of pressure placed on any one individual. If you do this, you're setting your expectations unreasonably high. People will disappoint you sooner or later -- there's no way around it. By expecting someone to think and act as you would want them to all the time, you're making it virtually impossible for them to meet your standards. You're setting them up for failure without even realizing it. People are human. They will do things sometimes that will leave you scratching your head in bewilderment. You may turn to them...

Between work, kids, household chores, and other responsibilities, many of us are left with depleted physical and mental resources at the end of the day. However, I've observed that even on weekends -- when we have more spare time to read, write, play Sudoku, or engage in other mentally-stimulating activities -- many people still opt to do things that require minimal thinking, such as sifting through Facebook posts or binge-watching The Real Housewives of Potomac . Mind you, there's nothing wrong with these kinds of things. But while I'm all for giving the mind a rest at certain points throughout the day, I can't go more than a couple of hours without wanting to learn something new -- whether it's the meaning of a word I came across in an article or about President Trump's latest economic proposals. I'm on a seemingly never-ending quest to expand my vocabulary and gain as much insight into the world -- and the human mind -- as I possibly can. I try m...

Many of us complain of being strapped for cash, forcing us to put off vacations and even milestone events like graduation, marriage and having kids. But we don't realize that our poor spending habits are likely to blame. Whether you're living on credit or spending significant sums on stuff you may not even use, such practices add up over time, resulting in in a mountain of debt, depleted savings, and other unfavorable consequences that can wreak havoc on your life. Look in your closet or drawers. Do you have various items that still have price tags on them? That probably means that you bought them to jump on a sale, not because you really wanted them in the first place. I caution people against buying things simply because they'll get something free or a second item half off, for example. It induces us to buy things we otherwise wouldn't buy if they weren't on sale. So, what happens? These things are left collecting dust at home while your bank account...

The great Albert Einstein once said, "Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow." The ancient Chinese philosopher Lao Tzu believed that "if you are depressed, you are living in the past; if you are anxious, you are living in the future; if you are at peace, you are living in the present." Both men echo Francis Bacon Sr., who said, "Begin doing what you want to do now. We are not living in eternity. We have only this moment, sparkling like a star in our hand -- and melting like a snowflake." The gist of these quotes is that we should live in the moment -- otherwise known as mindfulness.  The dictionary defines mindfulness as "a mental state achieved by focusing one's awareness on the present moment, while calmly acknowledging and accepting one's feelings, thoughts, and bodily sensations." In other words, it involves being cognizant of your physical and emotional state without being judgmental.  Most peopl...

According to a recent survey, many women still want their partner to be the primary breadwinner -- or at least make as much money as they do. More than 1 in 5 women -- or 22% -- say they wouldn't date someone who makes less money than them. That's compared with 4% of men who said they wouldn't date someone who earns less than they do. Another study found 69% of women said they'd feel uncomfortable paying all the bills compared with 46% of men. These findings aren't all that surprising. Despite the shrinking gender wage gap and more women rising to high-level executive positions, women still make less money than men for the same jobs -- 83 cents on the dollar. Thus, it follows that many women prefer having a partner whom they don't have to support. But women who are this picky may be missing out on great opportunities out in the dating realm. Even if he makes slightly less money, a man may make a great partner. Other variables should certainly be we...

On this day in 1777,  Brigadier General George Clinton was elected as the first governor of the independent state of New York. Clinton would go on to become New York’s longest-serving governor, as well as the longest-serving governor in the United States. He held the post until 1795, and again from 1801 to 1804. In 1805, he was elected vice president of the United States, a position he maintained under Presidents Thomas Jefferson and James Madison, until his death in 1812. There's no question that politics ran in Clinton's family. His father, Charles, immigrated to New York from Ireland and served in the New York colonial assembly. His brother, James, served as a major general during the Revolutionary War. In addition, James’ son, DeWitt Clinton, would follow in his uncle’s footsteps and serve as the governor of New York from 1817 to 1823. Clinton had a close friendship with George Washington, and his hatred of New York Tories wasn't lost on anyone. In fact, as govern...

Life is inevitably short. That's why we should aim to derive as much happiness from it as we can! Hug a little tighter. Smile a little longer. Enjoy that cup of coffee to the last drop. Delight your palate with delectable foods. Let the warm sunshine melt your worries away. Allow the cool breeze to lull you to sleep.  Take pleasure in the simple things in life. Don't get caught up in the acquisition of material goods. The sheer elation of owning a new product is only ephemeral.  Instead, focus on experiences. Whether it's traveling to Poland or enjoying a relaxing jaunt or picnic with your partner at the park across the street, experiences at least leave us with deep, abiding memories. Quit telling yourself that you'll do these things sometime in the future. Stop putting off for tomorrow what you can be doing today.  There comes a point where we need a change of pace or scenery -- a break from the daily humdrum. It's not merely a matter of getti...

Ironically, people who show off think they're enhancing their appeal. Little do they know they look foolish in many people's eyes, losing their respect in the process. I once read the following quote online: "Work for a cause, not for applause. Live life to express, not to impress."  I have no problem with a person making accomplishments known that might otherwise go overlooked.  But a line can be crossed if one does not exercise some forbearance. For example, do you really have to announce to the Facebook world that you made a hefty donation or are on your way to the dealership to purchase a luxury car? There's a clear difference between mentioning your achievements or material possessions humbly and matter-of-factly, and bragging about them to everyone, no matter the context.  Show-offs don't realize that they can command others' respect without having to wave their goodies in their faces.  If anything, boasting unwitting...

Beware of people who seem awfully nice for no reason, as this usually means they're trying to get something out of you. Notice that I use the word "usually." There are a handful of people out there who are genuinely nice and expect nothing in return, but they're the exception rather than the rule. For the most part, people instinctively know that when they're nice to someone -- including giving them unsolicited compliments -- they're likely to create a favorable impression and put them in a good mood, thus making them more likely to say "yes" once a request is made. As I've noted in other posts, the principle of reciprocity holds that when someone does something nice for us, we feel compelled to pay it forward in the future. You see this all the time with waiters at restaurants who will butter up clientele in hopes of coming away with a good tip. For example, I've seen waiters and waitresses do everything from chat up my gregariou...