How To Understand People

People who idolize celebrities and go so far as to have plastic surgery in hopes of looking just like them are beyond ridiculous. Being a fan is one thing. But facial reconstructive surgery is, in my opinion, going one step too far. There have been reports in the news of girls going under the knife to look like Kim Kardashian and other celebrities.  But it gets worse. Some girls have had surgery to look like Barbie dolls, anime characters, and other inanimate idols! I understand impressionable children wanting to look like people or cartoons they look up to, but some people continue adulating them well into their 30s and 40s.  I think it's important for everyone to build a personal identity. As much as we may want and aim to be or resemble Lebron James, Taylor Swift, or Wonder Woman, we'll never be them. You are you -- and that's good enough. Embrace who you are. No one else in the world looks or acts just like you. (Even twins have different views, taste...

Jen Welter made history by becoming the NFL's first female coach. A former collegiate rugby player and veteran of the Women's Football Alliance, Welter has joined the Arizona Cardinals as an assistant coach. Her credentials speak for themselves. She won two gold medals for Team USA in the International Federation of American Football Women's World Championship. She also has a master's degree in sports psychology and a PhD in psychology. While comments about the move on social media have been, for the most part, positive, some people have taken to Facebook and Twitter to express their displeasure through a series of sexist jokes. I think this was expected, but it's a real shame that sexism, though not as potent as before, continues to pervade society. This woman was every bit as qualified -- or more so -- as any man for the coaching position. She is to be commended for achieving her goals in the face of pushback she likely received from people in the NFL commun...

A JCPenney employee was sent home from work for wearing shorts that the company deemed too revealing. But wait, it gets better. Get this: She purchased the shorts at none other than JCPenney!  Her employer didn't seem to care where the clothes came from -- only that it violated the dress code. The woman, Sylva Stoel of Sioux Falls, South Dakota, said she never learned at the company orientation that dressing in this way wasn't in keeping with dress policy. After being asked repeatedly to go home and change, the self-proclaimed feminist decided to quit instead. Stoel asserted that she's fed up with dress codes that target women, adding that such codes tend to be sexist. She said she bought the shorts thinking they were professional, considering they showed nothing but her legs. My view: I don't think she was being dishonest when she said she had no clue wearing shorts went against the dress code. However, once Stoel was told it did and was asked to go home and c...

Gradually, I've become only more convinced that gaffes made by politicians and celebrities -- from Justin Bieber and Ariana Grande to Donald Trump -- are planned for one sole purpose: to garner as much publicity as they can possibly get. The conventional wisdom in Hollywood and the political arena seems to be that any attention is better than no attention. We are assailed by so much information on a daily basis -- advertisements, videos, social media content -- that these people figure the only way to grab our attention is to stir up a little drama and controversy. It's well-documented that the stories that garner the highest ratings are those that tend toward the negative. There's something about murders, sex scandals, and celebrities throwing shade at each other that keeps many people coming back for more. Thus, it comes as no surprise that Donald Trump's surging in the polls following controversial remarks he made about Mexicans, or that the doughnut shop where...

I recall speaking to several classmates back in my college days who said they never offered to pay for dinner on the first date. Their reasons were quite varied. Some elected not to pay out of sheer frugality. Others were afraid that if they came out of pocket too quickly, their date would expect to be treated on every future date. One guy in particular found this to be an effective strategy because he claimed to only date models whom most guys would label "10s." He felt it set him apart from other men who threw themselves at these attractive women. I might be old school, but I wouldn't let a woman pay on the first date. What's more, I wouldn't let her pay until we've officially declared ourselves an item, at which point I'd feel more comfortable letting her treat me once in a while. I think that making a good impression on a woman includes being chivalrous. This runs the gamut from paying for a meal to holding the door to offering her his jacket o...

I'm happy to announce that this blog is already a year old! It was officially launched on July 25, 2014 with the name "Relationship Advice and Relationship Tips." But the name didn't stick around for long. I decided to rename the blog "How to Understand People" because I felt such a title better captured what the site aims to do. It doesn't focus solely on relationships, but how human beings in general think and behave. I'd like to take a moment to thank everyone for their contributions to the blog thus far. Not only has this first year seen many friendships blossom in the blog, but we've taken part in many interesting discussions ranging from why people spend frivolously to the reasons those around us shouldn't always be trusted. I aim to make the blog even better over the coming months, so stay tuned for a couple of upgrades. If you have any comments or suggestions concerning the blog, or would like to ask for advice in private, please ...

It has become an epidemic in society: People care far too much about what others think . Many of us base our purchasing decisions around what we think others will like. How many times have you bought an article of clothing or item for the house because you've thought it's the one people will fancy the most? Or, worse, you have people with you at the store tell you which product they prefer, and you end up going with that one. Many people go so far as to only date men or women who receive someone else's stamp of approval - be it a friend or relative. While it's fine to seek recommendations from other people, we mustn't get into the habit of mindlessly letting them make decisions for us. After all, we all have our own tastes and opinions. We still have a responsibility to do our own research before we commit to making an important decision -- whether it's to buy a house or get a master's degree. Unfortunately, far too many of us take others' advice...

I recently read an article in The Telegraph about a study that revealed that four out of five women don't shower every day . The survey also found that almost two thirds of the participants couldn't be bothered removing make-up before going to bed, and one in eight owned up to not brushing their teeth before turning in for the night. Even more surprising was that one in three women admitted to going as many as three days without washing their face or body at all. Moreover, 89 percent of the women stated that they would like to improve their body hygiene, but blamed morning or evening tiredness for their tendency to pass on bathing. What these findings tell me is that between marriage, jobs, children, and other responsibilities, women are more strapped for time than ever before. There just aren't enough hours in the day to do everything, it seems. Although a woman need only allocate a few minutes of her day for a quick shower, when she is feeling exhausted, that tim...

Many people seem to be questioning whether Donald Trump is the real deal. Does he genuinely wish to be the next President of the United States, or is this all a publicity stunt? For one, he has changed party affiliations various times throughout the years. Today he comes off as an ardent Republican, but not too long ago he was rubbing elbows with Bill Clinton and making sizable donations to his campaign. The blustery real estate mogul has called himself a Republican twice, and both a Democrat and independent once. One thing is for sure: When Donald Trump talks, people listen. Like President Obama, the man oozes charisma. What distinguishes him from his fellow candidates, though, is that he speaks his mind with no restraint whatsoever. Indeed, when it comes to the Donald, there's no holding of the tongue: if you don't like what he has to say, he couldn't care less. There's no denying that Donald Trump is shaking up the establishment. Many of his comments and views ...

Now that my wife and I have gone on several double dates with friends and their partners over the years, I've come to the realization that double dating just isn't all it's cracked up to be. Personally, I prefer hanging out with my friends, sans partners. What I've noticed is that friends don't seem to act the same when in the presence of their partners. Many of them love serving up jokes when it's just us together, but when their partners are around, they hold back a bit. They try to be on their best behavior and come off as being wooden. It also natural for one to want to cater to his or her partner's whims. For example, I've noticed that, while on a double date, it's much more likely for the night to end early because my friend's girlfriend wants to get some sleep or go with my friend somewhere else. The more people you throw in the mix, the more political and watered down the outing becomes. Sometimes my friends become entirely differ...

You've probably had a friend, family member, or even your own partner do this to you at one point or another: You make a request -- say, ask them to join you on a trip -- and instead of giving you a direct answer, they beat around the bush and keep you on standby forever. Rather than tell you "no," they simply let the hours and even the days go by until you get the point and proceed to do whatever it is you contacted the individual about on your own. How annoying, right? Why do people do this? It's quite simply, really. People hate being the bearers of bad news. For some people, leaving others out in the cold and letting their inquiry go answered is less painful than merely saying "no thanks." I've lost count of the many times my friends have done this to me. I've proposed going out on a Friday night, and they've responded with something along the lines of, "Hmm, let me look at my schedule and I'll get back to you." Alas, I ne...

I'm sure most of you ladies have noticed a man unabashedly eying your cleavage at some point or another. You then wondered how he could have the nerve to make it so obvious. Well, many men perceive your showing off cleavage as an open invitation to look, if not stare. What's worse, a guy might assume that you purposely opened up your shirt to give him a peep show. Before you've blinked, the guy has already approached you and asked you out on a date. Women should be very careful not to attract the wrong attention should they decide to wear revealing clothing. Men are visually-oriented. If you give one the opportunity to see any of your lady parts, he'll jump on it. I might look once, but at least I try to be subtle about it. Guys who stare for an inordinate amount of time are awfully rude. However, if a woman wishes to avoid such a scenario, she should aim to dress a bit more conservatively. Women who show cleavage are, at some level, communicating that they don...

Is winning a person's mind as important as winning his or heart? To some people, smarts aren't nearly as important as qualities like honesty, humility, and compassion. To others (myself included), intelligence is among the qualities desired most in a partner. I think brains are beyond sexy. I love having a partner who can challenge me intellectually. It doesn't necessarily mean she has to be a walking textbook (though academic knowledge will certainly win her brownie points). Rather, she has to be able to make strong, logical arguments to support her position on issues of the day -- whether it be technology, the economy, racial strife, or politics. In other words, I want my partner to be in the know. One of the ways my wife ultimately won my heart was by winning my mind first. I saw how smart she was -- she's a teacher by the way -- and didn't take long to become enamored of her. A woman who may not rank high in physical attractiveness instantly becomes mo...

Do you strive to be good at the things you do in life, or do you try to be the very best at them? In my case, it all depends on whether I enjoy doing the task or activity in question. I like to sharpen my skills as much as I can at things that I truly enjoy doing -- whether it's reading, writing, or vocabulary. My goals in life include reading as many books and writing as many things -- whether books or blog posts -- as I possibly can. I want to be known as *the* writer or wordsmith among my peers. To me, that is the ultimate compliment. But if it's something I have little interest in doing from the outset -- like fixing or assembling things around the house, or putting together Excel spreadsheets at work, it's hard for me to summon the motivation to become good at it. In such scenarios, I try to complete the task with as little effort as possible, or with the aid of someone else. I'm just one of those people who really disdains spending time doing things that bri...

Although the list of gender stereotypes that exist in the world today goes on forever, there are two in particular that seem firmly ingrained in many people's minds: 1. All women should be good cooks. 2. All men should be handy.  Here's a reality check for those who still subscribe to these decades-old stereotypes: Many women don't know how to cook, nor have they ever been interested in preparing anything other than a TV dinner. At the same time, many men -- including me -- are neither interested in nor adept at home repairs and do-it-yourself projects. And there's nothing wrong with that. Some of us have a keen sense as to the things we like to do, and those we detest. As I've stated in earlier posts, I bought a condo instead of a house for one simple reason: I loathe maintenance. I'm not good at it and, quite frankly, would rather shell out the money for someone else to do the job. I love reserving my time outside of work for things about which I...

Or so it seems... Have you noticed that many people only seem to show interest in you when you show little to none in them? It's like the pendulum has to swing one way or the other. Achieving equilibrium isn't easy, whether we're talking about friendships or relationships. The key reason why this happens is because human beings not only have a tendency to become complacent in their friendships or relationships, but they often take the other person for granted. Once we see someone willing to bend over backwards for us, we perceive it as weakness and try to exploit that vulnerability as much as we can. I'm not saying all people do this, but many of us do. So what happens when you do the opposite -- that is, act indifferent?  The less emotionally invested one person seems to be, the more leverage he or she holds. In other words, he who cares least -- or is perceived as such -- has more power in the relationship. There's always going to be someone who compla...

Do you prefer taking a weeklong vacation (5+ consecutive days), or would you rather take your days sporadically -- say, five back-to-back Mondays? If I'm going out of town, I suppose the first option is best. However, I strongly prefer the second alternative, and here's why. Everyone knows that five straight days of vacation go by in a flash. As if that weren't enough, the sting that comes from having to go back to work seems more potent when you've been off five or more successive days. On the other hand, the pangs that accompany having to return to the office don't seem nearly as strong when you take days off here and there. After all, you've only had one day off (or as many as three if the day precedes or follows the weekend). Thus, you don't feel like you've been away from the work grind for too long. With the second option, you're basically enjoying your days over a wider stretch of time. It's almost like eating a meal more slowly so...

Life is too short to waste our time chasing after friends, partners, or potential suitors who are too busy or indifferent to make time for us. I firmly believe that there's the right friend and partner for everyone out there -- the kind whom doesn't make you feel like you need to climb mountains and traverse rivers to see them. If you have one great friend who is always there for you when you need him or her, consider yourself fortunate. I know we all have an ever-increasing heap of responsibilities to worry about, and time just doesn't seem on our side. Still, a true friend will make the effort to squeeze you in. The same applies to someone you may be talking to on the love front. Whenever a girl failed to answer my calls and found every excuse in the book not to see me, I knew what the issue was: She just wasn't feeling me. As I've stressed several times in my posts, we can always count on the company of one specific person: ourselves. I'd rather enjoy b...

We often hear clichés like, "What others say about us doesn't matter," and "the only opinion about you that matters is your own." Noble, yes, but let's face it, folks. We DO care about what others think of us -- a lot. Case in point: Many of us spend a considerable amount of money on brand-name products. But why do we do this, exactly? There are two principal reasons: It makes us feel good: Ask consumers out there why they specifically zero in on premium brands and many will tell you that it simply makes them feel good. The fact that you own a $1,250 Louis Vuitton purse and none of your friends do might make you feel as if you're in a league of your own. This feeling of exclusivity can boost one's self-worth, self-esteem and, in some cases, self-aggrandizement.   We thrive on social acceptance: Compliments from other people provide an even bigger impetus for luxury spending. What drives people to buy items with big price tags is not so m...

Want to know one of the many things that makes people get bored of their jobs? Predictability . Not just in terms of the work itself, but the people who surround us in the workplace. I work with an older gentleman who is the epitome of routine. Let's call him Andy. I thought I was a creature of habit until I met this guy. I can tell you exactly how Andy goes about his day: He goes to the cafeteria to get coffee at 9 a.m., grabs his lunch at 11:30 a.m. and eats at his desk, goes on his actual break at 12:30 p.m., makes some more coffee at 3 p.m., eats an apple at 3:30 p.m., and then bolts out of the office at 5:30 p.m. sharp. He does this every day , without fail. What's worse, he makes a pastime out of hurling the same tired jokes over and over again. We spend more time with co-workers than we do friends and family. Is it any wonder we grow tired of seeing the same people 40+ hours a week? It'd be nice if we rotated cubicles every so often and got to know differen...

Ever wonder why we put such a high premium on television and music? It's not just about the entertainment value they deliver. Essentially, TV and music rescue us, if temporarily, from the humdrum of everyday life. We watch everything from reality shows to soap operas on television. These programs have no basis in reality -- and that's precisely why we gravitate to them. We like to immerse ourselves in love stories and action-packed adventures that break the monotony of real life -- annoying bosses, cubicle boredom, bickering with your inlaws, endless chores. Every episode of shows like The Walking Dead and Game of Thrones leaves viewers hungry for more. It gives them something to look forward to. The feeling of being on the edge of your seat -- the unpredictable -- is a tremendous high. Movies with various installments -- Twilight, The Avengers, and Rocky are a few examples -- have the same effect on audiences. Further, music serves a similar purpose. Think about a ti...

Have you ever stopped and questioned how some of the things we do and wear got in style? Here are a few fashion fads that might have made our ancestors squirm: Ripped jeans Tattoos Nose and naval rings Short shorts Dying our hair non-traditional colors (pink, purple, etc.) I suppose many people might cite the 1970s as a time when many of these fads came into being.  Nonetheless, the world as we know it is becoming more and more liberal. People feel at ease wearing less, if not more outlandish, clothing these days. What's more, what would have been considered taboo when our parents were growing up -- like men wearing tattoos or earrings on both ears -- is now regarded as trendy.  How do you suppose scantily-clad women in 2015 would have been perceived in the 1980s or early 1990s? Back then, they might have been mistaken for prostitutes. Then there are young men wearing jeans so loose and baggy that their underpants come into view. Who wants to be seeing t...

It's finite. It's in short supply. And there's nothing we should be working harder to make the most of than this. Any idea what I'm talking about? It's time. Now, does making the most of your time necessarily mean that you ought to be taking as many vacations as you can possibly squeeze into a year? Does making the most of your time mean you should be having as many children as you can? Does making the most of your time mean you should aim to buy the best car and biggest house you can afford? If anything, such pursuits seem like they'd be an even bigger drain on your time. The question becomes: Do you think investing a lot of your time -- the scarcest commodity you have -- on these things is worth it? When it comes to travel, we spend a significant amount of time at airports, on flights, and in cabs. What's more, you have to factor all the time spent planning the vacation, including researching key sites and attractions, booking flights and tou...

...those that we never make. Think about it. What can come back to haunt you any more than wondering what could have been? Here are a few of examples of things people may not do, but later regret: Not having kids Not wearing protection when having sex Never getting married Not pursuing a degree or finishing school Not aiming for a better job because they're too complacent where they are Not saving money Not being more on top of their health (e.g., not smoking, doing more exercise, etc.) What's the best way to avoid being in this situation? For starters, we should all guard against the impulse to trek through life in a mindless manner. It's when we do things mindlessly that we seem to get in the most trouble. For example, the question of whether or not to have kids is one of the most important ones we face in our lives. That's a decision that should not be taken lightly. Whether one decides not to have kids or have unprotected sex and worry about t...

And I'm among them. My wife is currently on a diet and has already lost a good 8 pounds. While I commend her for eating healthily and making a stronger effort to hit the gym, I often remind her that I'd prefer she not shed too much weight. She knows I have never been attracted to overly skinny women. If I had the choice between thin and a few extra pounds, I'd choose the latter. There's something to be said for a woman with curves. A woman's body is what I find to be one of God's most beautiful creations. Emaciated women, though, don't rank too highly on the attractive scale in my book. Unless a woman is seriously overweight, there's no need for her to lose an excessive amount of weight. As I've noted in earlier posts, I think Hollywood and the media are to blame for pushing this idea that only very thin women are considered beautiful. I respect those men who agree, but I feel differently -- as do many men out there. Some of us appreciate wo...

If you really think about it, life is truly about resisting temptation. It lurks behind every corner in our present society. It has become far to easy for us to fall into temptation, putting our health and/or relationships at risk. The media, television, advertising, the internet, and technology in general are partly to blame for our being influenced into doing many of these things, but human beings, for their part, are notoriously bad at exercising self-control. Here are a couple of ways people fall are ensnared into temptation: Overeating, or eating too much of those foods they know aren't good for them Drinking in excess Taking illegal drugs Abusing prescription drugs Becoming addicted to pornography Spending money recklessly Gambling without restraint Engaging in extramarital affairs An uncontrollable urge to sleep with hookers Far too many of us continue to do things we know aren't good for us in the long run and get in trouble with friends, family, partner...

I think we'd all agree that certain topics and people get far too much news coverage these days. In this post, I'd like for everyone to list a few things you feel should be toned down. Here are a few that come to mind: The Kardashians, especially Kim Kardashian and Caitlyn Jenner Bill Cosby Donald Trump Murders and crime in general Riots Race issues What do all these have in common?  They're negative and thus more likely to garner higher ratings. Is it any surprise the news outlets are all over them? Here are a few topics I would love for the media to focus on more: Humanitarian efforts Charities Pets People who have overcome long odds to become successful in their careers Families Other "feel-good" topics Which stories are you tired of, and which ones would you love to see in the headlines more often? Please check out prior posts by clicking here: How to Understand People

Be honest: How often do you use your cell phone -- whether it's to talk, text, or surf the web -- while driving? This morning, as I was driving to work, I couldn't help but notice that the drivers to my left and right, as well as the one behind me, were at one point all using their cell phones -- while their feet were on the gas pedals. I won't lie: I use the phone myself, but only when I'm at a red light or stuck in bumper-to-bumper traffic. But fiddling with one's phone while one is driving is extremely dangerous. It prevents you from fully focusing on what you're doing behind the wheel. People can become so distracted that they fail to look up in time to avoid accidents ranging from rear ending the car in front to hitting a pedestrian attempting to cross the street. Compounding the problem even further is when the driver is either sleepy or under the influence. Unless an emergency prompts us to talk, text, or browse while driving, we should all aim ...

Tonight's quote comes from Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865), 16th President of the United States. They called him "Honest Abe" for a reason, as Lincoln gave us some of the most relatable and profound quotes on record. Here's yet another one with which most of us will probably concur: "I have come to realize that people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be." - Abraham Lincoln What I think Lincoln is trying to say is that happiness is largely a state of mind -- it's mostly mental. Think about those days where one thing goes wrong -- say, you lose your job or break up with your boyfriend -- and it seemingly casts a shadow over your life for quite some time. While going through this, how often do we really stop and say, "Hey, cheer up. There are people out there who have it worse. I am happy this happened, as it gives me an opportunity to improve my life. I will find an even better partner or job." Not too often, right? Some pe...

This morning, I was laser-focused on my work -- so much so that my co-worker questioned why I was so quiet. It's not the first time he's remarked on how quiet I can get when I'm very busy. On a few other occasions, he's stated that the office has been so quiet that he could almost hear himself think. People who are like this get on my nerves. (My apologies if you react similarly in quiet settings.) We get enough noise out on the street and at home. A little silence never hurt anybody, so what's the big deal? People who hold a disdain for quietness tend to be as such: Highly extroverted  Rely on external stimuli to stay focused and entertained (other people, etc.) Not particularly deep thinkers -- they tend to avoid solitary pursuits like reading and writing Have a high need for attention Are probably not that busy themselves if they have the time to notice how quiet it is Can be awfully insecure -- they suspect that people must be quiet for a reason ...

Contrary to popular belief, it isn't how much money you make, how engrossed you are in your work, the work/life balance the job affords, or whether you feel what you do makes a difference in the world. While those things are certainly important, the single biggest determinant of on-the-job satisfaction is whether you get along with your boss and co-workers . I have several friends and a couple of relatives who have resigned from their jobs despite genuinely enjoying the work and being handsomely compensated. In each case, they either had a toxic boss or one or more co-workers who had a penchant for stabbing them on the back. Let's face it: No amount of money an employer throws at us -- whether it's $75,000 or $5 million a year -- can compensate for having to tolerate an abusive supervisor or conniving co-workers. Given that most of us spend 40 or more hours at the office each week, having to put up with such behavior can eventually take a serious toll on us -- physi...

We all have an idea as to what would make the "perfect" job, partner, or lifestyle. We might spend a lot of time and energy in pursuit of it, only to pass up great-yet-not-100-percent-perfect opportunities along the way. We must each come to terms with the fact that there is no such thing as perfection. Your job, partner, and life as a whole will always lack something you want. If only we had a machine at our disposal that allowed us to create these to our specifications, right? As much as I would love to believe that there's a job out there that has everything I could want -- intellectually stimulating work, great pay and benefits, fantastic co-workers, and so forth -- the truth is that no job is going to meet all my criteria. The same applies to one's choice of a partner. Your boyfriend will never live up to your idea of perfection. Maybe he'll never be as muscular, romantic, or handy as you'd like. That isn't to say that we should resign to sett...

I have noticed that a couple of guys I know have deliberately set out to find a particular kind of woman: one who's disadvantaged in some way. This can take many forms, including women who: Are broke Don't know English Come from humble beginnings (poor, not educated, etc.) Are vulnerable because of problems they're going through, like divorce or unemployment Recently immigrated to the U.S. and need help assimilating, getting their affairs in order, etc. Now, I'm not saying that these men aren't well-intentioned. They claim to love these women, and some of them have gone on to marry and have kids with them.  Here's what disturbs me: They admit they like the fact that the women are disadvantaged because it means they'll always have to rely on them for support. It empowers them. It makes these guys feel like they're in the driver's seat -- in full control. In fact, some of them insist that the women remain housewives, just so that the m...

Our high school/college days seem well behind us, don't they? There are certainly things most us might miss about that time of our lives, including: Having a busier social life than we do now: People go in different directions after high school, causing us to lose contact with many of our closest friends. And though we may be able to keep in touch with a few, things are never quite the same. Proximity plays a huge role when it comes to friendships. It was so much easier to maintain them when you knew you'd see your buddies every day in gym class or Home Ec. Once you graduate from college and have bills, work, and other priorities to worry about, an active social life no longer takes precedence. Once we hit our 30s and 40s, we can consider ourselves lucky if we have three people we can call true friends. Being closer to family members: For most of us, our high school years comprise the last stretch in which we'll ever live at home with our parents. While living at ho...

As we get older, life can become rather routine and mundane. We all know this. We get up, eat breakfast, brush our teeth, get dressed, drive to work, spend eight or so hours in a cubicle, drive back home, eat dinner, watch TV, go to sleep, and do the same thing the next day. Rinse and repeat.  Lucky for us, there's at least one thing about which we're passionate, which makes life a whole lot more tolerable.  Passion gets us out of bed in the morning. It's like a great shot of adrenaline. It drives us to achieve something. It prompts us to push our limits.  As Oprah once said: "Passion is energy. Feel the power that comes from focusing on what excites you." As I've noted in other posts, my passions lie in: Writing Reading Learning (especially about psychology and history) Animal welfare Helping the less fortunate Some of us are lucky enough to do what we're passionate about for a living. For example, you may love animals and wor...

To all you readers here in the United States -- here's to a Happy Independence Day! Today we come together and commemorate the adoption of the Declaration of Independence. On July 4, 1776, the thirteen colonies declared themselves an independent nation, severing ties with an overbearing British Empire. Even if you're not a history buff like me, there are certain things we learned in history class that remain embedded in our minds, including: The heroism of George Washington, who led the Continental Army to victory against long odds. After all, he was up against the mightiest military force in the world. The Declaration of Independence, which was written by Thomas Jefferson and included a series of grievances against King George III. And who could forget John Hancock's oversized signature? Founding Fathers like Benjamin Franklin, John Adams, Alexander Hamilton, Sam Adams, and Hancock, all of whom contributed to the Revolutionary cause in a big way It's easy t...

When we were kids, we were asked a specific question that we probably felt we knew the answer to: "What do you want to be when you grow up?" Answers would run the gamut -- from firefighter to teacher to baseball player. It's understandable that we wouldn't know what our calling is at such a young age. Unfortunately, though, some of us -- even in our 20s, 40s, or 60s -- still haven't arrived at a concrete answer. It's well-documented that a lot of us switch majors multiple times in colleges and go on to receive a degree in something we might never use in the real world. While this isn't a big deal, it does become a problem when one opts to change careers several times after being in the working world for a considerable amount of time. Here are a couple of reasons why: It shows you can't make up your mind as to which career you wish to settle into People will start to think you can't hold down a job Your resume is proof that you have ...

When I tally up how many of my friends and relatives exercise at least occasionally, it comes out to less than ten. It's more like six. Not good. Exercise is one of those things that constantly gets put on the back burner. For most people, it ranks low on the priority list, behind laundry, cleaning, dining out, and spending time with friends. What's more, people are naturally inclined to expend the least energy possible. Exercise involves some effort, and for many people it's just easier to plop down on the coach and reach for the potato chips. I'm one of those who used to find any excuse in the book not to exercise: "I'm tired" "I'd rather stay home watching TV" "I don't want to get all sweaty" "It's too late to go today" "I can always exercise later" "I don't want to deal with traffic" "Going to the gym is boring" "I already ate" "I have too much t...

Great news for job seekers and those looking to leave their companies for new opportunities: Per government data released Thursday, unemployment has dropped to 5.3%, surpassing many economists' expectations. We haven't seen the rate this low since April 2008. Hiring has picked up all across the board. From financial services to healthcare, employers continue to add jobs to their ever-increasing payrolls. The great news was tempered by the fact that wage growth remains stubbornly stagnant. Still, more jobs mean more opportunities for people to go back to work, which translates into more money in their pockets. This, in turn, will spur spending and stimulate the economy. After all, consumer spending accounts for 70% of the U.S. economy. How do you feel about the news? Do you feel the economy is improving? For previous entries, please click here:  How to Understand People

I've observed -- on a number of occasions I might add -- that certain women in the building where I work don't hold the door for someone walking behind them when entering or leaving a room. You might ask, "Well, how can you be so sure they know there's someone behind them?" I purposely cough to alert them to the fact. Still, they refuse to show common courtesy. And this isn't just a one-time thing: I have caught the same women doing this on multiple occasions. On the other hand, men seem to be a little more polite. I would say they hold the door 99.9% of the time. Why the difference between the sexes? I think that many men are accustomed to doing the chivalrous thing and holding doors for women. You might be surprised to find that most of them will also do this for other men. I get the sense, however, that some women think holding doors for others (especially for men) is beneath them. They might reason that women have fought so hard for equal right...

People can have the most irksome habits. What's worse is when these individuals carry on with them even after people have brough the habit(s) to their attention. Here are a few that come to mind: 1. Picking one's nose in public 2. Passing gas (especially the noisy ones!) 3. Leaving the toilet seat up 4. Forgetting to spray air freshener after one has used the restroom 5. Interrupting someone else's conversation 6. Talking incessantly about oneself and not letting someone else get a word in edgewise 7. Checking someone out in a creepy, perverted way 8. Sneezing without covering one's mouth 9. Not holding the door for others 10. Not saying thank you when someone holds the door, lets you pass, etc. This list could go on forever. Though they can all annoy me to no end, I would have to say that #5 and #6 are the worst in my book. Hearing someone blather on and on is like listening to a broken record. And it doesn't get any ruder than interjecting in a conv...