How To Understand People

The word of the day is one of my favorites, as I often use it to describe my hard-to-please boss: persnickety. The dictionary defines it as "overparticular about trivial details; fastidious. In other words, someone who's persnickety is fussy, choosy, particular, picky, finicky...you get the point. One thing is to be particular, but people like my supervisor seem to deliberately look for any excuse not to proceed with something -- signing off on a project, choosing a dress for a party, etc. It's these kind of people that take forever to make a decision. Just when they seem to have made up their mind, they find something new to criticize. If not given a deadline, they can spend weeks -- if not months -- nitpicking at the most minute things. While to one observer this may reflect a discerning eye, to another it may signal a chronic inability to make a decision. Had you ever used or heard the word before? Have you ever met someone persnickety?

Many people have asked me this question concerning relationships:  "What if I give someone a chance, only to get hurt by them later on?" The fact of the matter is that getting hurt is always a real possibility in any relationship. We all enter into a relationship with high hopes. In the early stages, the other person might seem so incredible that you would think they fell from the sky. Gradually, though, one's true colors come out, and they may not always be to our liking. No one's perfect, though, and relationships are all about accepting and working through each other's differences.  It's when those differences become irreconcilable that the relationship is in trouble.  You never really know how a relationship will turn out. The high divorce rate in the U.S. alone can attest to that. Still, if we don't take a chance, we'll never really know what the relationship holds in store.  Even if it doesn't work out, th...

When people judge you and you become bothered and angry by what they say, you lead them to believe they're right. When people judge you and what they say goes in one of your ears and out the other, you're demonstrating one thing: you couldn't care less what they think. This is the posture we should adopt. No one can make you feel bad about yourself without your consent. Why should you care about what they say? No one's a better judge of your character and personality than you. No one knows you better than you know yourself. Why give such judgments any importance when, at the end of the day, what you think about yourself is all that matters? If you judge yourself to be lazy, rude, hurtful, or irresponsible, it's up to you decide whether those traits ought to be changed. Change them because you wish to do so, not because others are prodding you to. If you judge yourself to be bookish or ambitious, it's no one's place to tell you to change those...

Ever wonder why losing something seems so much more potent than gaining something? According to a concept known as loss aversion, our fear of loss is greater than our desire to gain. In other words, we prefer not to lose $10 than to find $10. Some studies have suggested that losses are psychologically twice as powerful as gains. It's no wonder, then, that consumers are so easily swayed by ads that include verbiage suggesting that time is of the essence, like "while supplies last" and "this offer ends soon." Even if we might not want or need a product, we take advantage of the offer -- just so that we don't miss out. The person who said, "You don't know what you have until it's gone" was onto something. When we lose something, we lament the absence of something that may never come back. In many cases, they can be things that hold some sentimental value, like an old shirt or Teddy bear. Gaining something -- say, buying a 201...

Is thinking too much a bad thing? Not when it concerns studying for a big exam, working on an intellectually grueling project at work, or playing brain games like Scrabble and Jeopardy. But it can serve as a hindrance when it comes to making decisions.  Carefully thinking through your choices is one thing. Spending so much time mulling things over as to not make any kind of decision is another. Overthinking breeds inaction. You can't put off decisions that involve your personal and professional forever.  Any action is better than inaction. And choosing not to act isn't a decision.  I'll be the first to admit that making a life-altering decision is anything but simple.  Switching jobs, getting married to someone we've only known for weeks, moving to another city -- these are all leaps of faith, and we really don't know whether such decisions will pan out.  Because of the risk involved, it's no surprise people balk. They think, th...

What's something we can expect to see when we go see a movie at the theater?  Beside popcorn, children, and "coming soon" movie banners, we have to sit through a couple of previews for movies slated to be released in the coming months, otherwise known as trailers . I've always wondered why they're called "trailers" if they precede the show for which we've paid.  As it turns out, the term “trailer” comes from their original placement within the movie screening -- “trailing” at the end of the film. When marketers realized a large portion of the audience left immediately after the feature ended, they moved them to run before the movie began.  A smart move, to say the least. I've observed that at the conclusion of nearly every movie I watch at the theater -- particularly the longer ones -- there are always a few people running for the exits.  Movies absorb one's attention and can very easily wear you out, especially if you s...

Many people fail to understand that, as Confucius once stated, "Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated." Okay, maybe life isn't as simple as Confucius makes it out to be. Regardless, his sage advice still holds to a certain extent in our consumer-driven, bigger-is-better, dog-eat-dog world. As I've stressed in prior posts, some people are just too hung up on material stuff. They're profligate spenders of the worst kind, running up their credit cards until they begin receiving calls from credit collectors. These individuals really have no idea how much pleasure they can derive from simpler pursuits like taking a jaunt around the park, swimming at the beach, or simply hanging out with their closest comrades. Society wants us to believe that in order to earn people's respect -- not to mention your own -- you must have an expensive car, large house, and all the other bells and whistles that constitute the so-called American Dream....

Today makes another wonderful day to savor life -- in all its beauty. To smile. To laugh. To breathe the fresh air. To commute with nature. To frolic with those you love. Today brings a fresh opportunity to be grateful for the things we so often take for granted -- like having clean drinking water at our disposal and caring friends at the ready. Today invites you to throw yourself headlong into your passions, whether that be watching exhilarating sports, reading to your heart's content, or generously devoting your time to a local animal shelter. Today makes the perfect day to explore places you've never seen, speak to people you've never met, and raise questions you've never asked. Today is all about you. It's all about positive vibes, meaningful connections, and memorable experiences. Relish all the great things you'll enjoy today -- from the delicious slice of pizza during lunch to the conversation with your close friend over the phone. Always ...

On this day in 1785, the Georgia General Assembly incorporated the first state-funded institution of higher education in the newly independent United States. The prior year, the assembly had set aside 40,000 acres from which they aimed to earn the money to endow the institution. In 1786, Yale University alumnus Abraham Baldwin was chosen as president, and the school's charter was hammered out. In 1801, John Milledge, future governor of Georgia, donated over 600 acres along the Oconee River (in present-day Athens) to serve as the site of the new university. Three years later, the school graduated the first class. The new institution's first name was Franklin College, in homage to Benjamin Franklin, and modeled its architecture and pedagogy after that of Yale University. Now known as The University of Georgia, its shift from religious tolerance to gender equity and racial integration was a gradual one. It wouldn't admit women until 1918, the same year President Wo...

Forget about the past. Yes, you've made mistakes.  Yes, you've said and done things you wish you could take back. But that's water under the bridge now. You've learned from those experiences and are now wiser because of them. The only way to go is forward. Life is too short to spend it wondering what if you had done this, or what if you had done that. The bottom line is, you chose a path, and that path has led you to where you are at present. Having regrets serves no purpose other than to demoralize you. Don't let that happen! Take stock of your life and consider all the fantastic things you can do now and in the future. Taking memorable vacations with the family. Finally getting that degree you've been putting off. Learning a new language. There is so much for you to do. The future remains bright so long as you envision it that way. Don't let your past problems thwart you from realizing your life goals and dreams. When life tries to tempt you into...

There are certain times in life where, after much sweat and tears, it only makes sense to walk away from something, whether it be a troubling relationship, dead-end job, or other unfavorable circumstance. Though walking away can often be difficult, life is too short to endure circumstances so trying that it becomes difficult to get out of bed every day and face the world. If you're in an abusive relationship, walk away. No one deserves to suffer that way at the hands of a partner who's lost their way and doesn't show the slightest interest in mending fences. If you're in a relationship where you're being taken advantage of despite being heavily invested in it (emotionally and otherwise), walk away. You deserve better than to remain with a person who blithely takes you for granted. If one of your friendships, whether new or old, no longer adds value to your life, walk away. There's a season for every friendship in our life; once distance and other lifes...

No matter our political affiliation, faith, career, hobbies, or overall outlook on life, we should strive our best to get along and accept each others' differences. The 2016 election demonstrated one glaring fact: the U.S. remains bitterly divided. It pains me to see friends, coworkers, and people on the street bickering over politics, the conversations at times devolving into all-out mudslinging reminiscent of what we saw on the campaign trail. When you find your conversation escalating into a heated argument over immigration, abortion, gay marriage, religion, or any other touchy subject, interject and say, "We'll agree to disagree and leave it at that." Then change the subject. There is enough conflict and resentment in the world as it is. The last thing we need is to engage in a battle of words with people in our lives who mean a lot to us. I'm all for a vigorous intellectual debate. But once talking turns into shouting and shouting turns into a verba...

If you're quiet, you likely get plenty of flak from people around you. You're judged left and right just for keeping to yourself. Since people can't get you to open up as often as they'd like, they take the liberty of filling the gaps on their own. Some of them call you a snob, others say you're weird, and still others go so far as to label you antisocial. Saying you're introspective and that you think before you speak isn't good enough for them. Trying to explain that you're introverted -- that your energy is directed inward as opposed to an extrovert, whose energy is directed outward -- is a futile exercise. You tell them that too much social interaction leaves you drained, and that you can only recharge by spending time alone, but it falls on deaf ears. Sometimes it feels like no one understands you. But I'm here to tell you one thing: I get you. I know what you're going through because I've been there. As a quiet, studio...

Bob Marley once said, "You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have." Indeed, we don't know how strong-willed and determined we can be until our resolve is actually put to the test -- that is, until we face serious challenges that can cause us to doubt our ability to surmount them. Many of us are thrust -- in many cases, unexpectedly -- into very tough situations that force us to summon every bit of strength we can muster, like losing a loved one, getting laid off, or being cheated on. The fact that gradually we are able to get through these hard times and move on with our lives attests to the tenacity of the human spirit. Time really does heal. And just because you may not be as strong as your peers doesn't mean you're weak. Some of us have simply gone through more adversity in life, and those experiences have better prepared us for similar predicaments that may surface later on. What's more, some people are mor...

Whether you're going through a tough time because you're short on cash, unable to find love, or having marital problems, I have a message for you: Things will eventually work out. That may strike you as impossible at this juncture, but over time, things will fall in place. It may not happen on your timetable, but it will occur nonetheless. This is only a passing storm, a temporary blip, a small fork in the road. With hard work, gumption, an irrepressible drive, and support from friends (including me and others on this blog), you'll land back on your feet before you know it. Don't underestimate your will and capacity to overcome even the most daunting obstacles. You can achieve anything you set your heart and mind to. As someone anonymous once put it, "A river cuts through a rock, not because of its power, but its persistence." Pray, put in a vigorous workout at the gym, treat yourself a hearty meal -- do whatever it takes to relax and blow off so...

Nothing gives anyone -- not boyfriend, old buddy, neighbor, your sister -- the right to exploit you for personal gain. If you detect that someone is deliberately attempting to take advantage of you, do not remain tight-lipped -- stand up for yourself! Approach the individual in a tactful manner and ask when he or she would be available to have a conversation in private. Hopefully, doing so will defuse the situation. If you find that the relationship is beyond repair, make it clear that you won't allow him or her to disrespect you. A good person doesn't try step over his or her loved ones just to get ahead. That bespeaks utter selfishness and a lack of a moral compass. Anyone who does this deserves no place in your life unless they can offer a convincing apology, vowing to never betray you again. After all, it's hard to restore trust after one feels they've been stabbed in the back. Again, if you sense that someone might be trying to take advantage of you, ...

A new study in the journal of Current Biology establishes a link between temporary anxiety and -- wait for it -- obsessive cleaning. It turns out that being in an anxious state may in fact make people tidy up.  Researchers primed a group of college students into freaking out over a public speaking task. They were presented with a shiny statue and asked to prepare a speech about it in front of a panel of experts. Following the speech, they were told to clean the object. (In addition, there was a control group comprised of students who were not required to give a speech.) Those who had to give the anxiety-inducing speech were more repetitive in how they cleaned. The amount of anxiety the students reported feeling over the task predicted how many repeated movements they made while cleaning, as well as how long they cleaned the object before they deemed it reasonably clean. In times of stress, people might turn to repetitive behavior like cleaning because it gives the...

Everyone likes a little pat on the back for a job well done -- whether from your boss for completing a report on deadline, your spouse for building that time-consuming playhouse for the kids, or your friend for helping organize their party. Sometimes, though, this form of positive reinforcement can be hard to come by. And even if you do fish for compliments or credit in a subtle way, you don't end up getting any. So what do you do in a situation like this? You keep working hard. No one will ever be prouder of your accomplishments than you. If you can't get others to acknowledge your efforts, there's no harm in taking pride in them yourself. If it gets to the point where you feel you're being taken for granted, have a talk with your boss, partner, or friend and let them know your hard work often goes overlooked. If that fails to bear any fruit, it may be time to assess whether the job, relationship, or friendship in question is really worth keeping. Once it...

The expression "settling for less" gets thrown around quite loosely, but what many people fail to realize is that it is entirely subjective. One's idea of settling less may not jibe with someone else's. While you may perfectly content with a GUESS purse, your gaudy friend may feel you're settling for less unless you opt for a more luxurious brand, like Coach or Louis Vuitton. Or, while you're happy to hook up with average-looking but highly intelligent guys, your sister may insist that you're settling for less unless you set your sights on guys who are a "9" or better in the appearance department. Furthermore, you may be told you can do better if you are not the CEO of your company, but what if you're happy having a less taxing, lower-paying job if it means spending more quality time with friends and family? This type of thinking is seriously misguided. The fact is that people have different tastes and disparate desires. Some of...

Donald Trump takes the oath of office today and officially becomes the 45th president of the United States. While I didn't vote for him, I still plan to tune in. The peaceful transfer of power has been a hallmark of American democracy since Thomas Jefferson defeated John Adams for the presidency in 1800. Though I disagree with Trump on a bevy of issues, loathe his antics (Twitter, anyone?), and have found many of his remarks toward women and other groups to be reprehensible, I still wish him well. The bottom line is that if he succeeds, America succeeds, and if America succeeds, the entire world succeeds. America spoke loud and clear in last year's election. Tired of the broken system in Washington, it wanted to see an outsider take the country in a whole new direction. Whether Trump can live up to all the promises he made on the campaign trail remains to be seen. He enters office with the worst approval rating of any president in modern history, so surely he has ...

While certain circumstances in life are beyond our control -- death and taxes among them -- there are three things over which we can maintain control: (1) Attitude: We can see the glass as half empty or half full. Whether we view a situation negatively or positively is our choice. (2) Our words: The words that come out of our mouths, as well as those we put down on paper, ought to be chosen carefully, as they're not always easily forgotten. (3) Our actions: Life is less about what happens to us than what we do with what happens to us. Our lives are a direct reflection of the decisions we make. However, this is easier said than done. Oftentimes, we're blindsided by unforeseen circumstances that cause our emotions to supersede rationality, resulting in our later regretting some of the things we say or do. For example, you might be having an awful day after being passed for a promotion or getting fired. Upon getting home, you snap at your spouse when he complains for t...

Though we may think of ourselves as brilliant, there are 10 or so people in the world who are so smart as to put our brights to shame. Among those with preternatural abilities are Terence Tao, Christopher Hirata, and Kim Ung-Yong, whom I highlight in this post. Terence Tao Tao gave the phrase "child prodigy" a whole new meaning. Now 41, the Australian-American mathematician was teaching 5-year-olds how to spell and add when he was only 2! When he was 10, he began participating in International Mathematical Olympiads. He won a bronze in 1986, silver in 1987, and gold in 1988, becoming the youngest Olympiad ever to win a gold medal. At 16, he'd already earned his Bachelor's and Master's degrees; he'd go on to earn his Ph.D. four years later. He currently teaches at the University of California, Los Angeles. Christopher Hirata Hirata, a 35-year-old cosmologist and astrophysicist, has an IQ of 225! When he was 13, he received a gold medal at the Intern...

In a press conference last week, President-elect Donald Trump refused to take a question from a CNN correspondent, proceeding to call the network "fake news." The testy exchange came on the heels of CNN reporting that intelligence officials had briefed Trump on an unverified dossier alleging that the Russian government was in possession of compromising information about him. But the sourcing on the 35-page document is unclear and probably unverifiable. CNN reported that it is based chiefly on memos gathered by a former British intelligence operative that were meant as opposition research into Trump. In typical Trump fashion, he took Twitter shortly thereafter and blasted the report, tweeting, "FAKE NEWS - A TOTAL POLITICAL WITCH HUNT!" While the jury is still out on the report, one thing is for certain: Cable news has become increasingly biased over time. Whether you're watching CNN, Fox News, or MSNBC, every cable news network slants left or right, ...

What happened yesterday is only a distant memory now. Turn the page and look forward to what today will bring. If there's one certainty in life, it's that life goes on. What happened yesterday is a springboard to new experiences that await us today and in the future. But we must resist the urge to harp on things we can no longer revisit except in our thoughts. Whether what occurred yesterday was favorable or negative, we cannot remain in the same point in time for too long. Experiences help us learn and grow, and great ones are certainly worth reminiscing about every so often. But if we dwell too much on what happened yesterday, we inhibit ourselves from progressing. Obviously, everyone aims to live as happy a life as possible -- one chock-full of magnificent experiences. But that won't happen if we remain enmeshed in the past. Always remain forward-looking . If yesterday was a lousy day, guess what? Today can be a whole lot better so long as you belie...

An article published recently by CNN reveals that eight men -- Warren Buffett, Carlos Slim, Bill Gates, Jeff Bezos, Mark Zuckerberg, Michael Bloomberg, Larry Ellison, and Amancio Ortega -- are insanely rich. Collectively, they're worth $426 billion, now controlling as much wealth as the world's poorest 3.6 billion people. To put it in perspective, the richest 1% has owned more wealth than the rest of the planet since 2015. In the U.S., the richest 1% control 42% of the wealth. And the problem is only getting worse. . Despite many world leaders sharing a common goal to reduce inequality, the gap between the rich and the rest continues to widen. In fact, seven out of 10 people live in a country where inequality has worsened over the past three decades. And over the past 25 years, the top 1% has gained more income than the bottom 50% combined. In other words, income and wealth are being funneled upwards at a staggering rate -- rather than trickling down. To boot, the...

For those of us in the U.S. who have to work today -- a federal holiday commemorating the birthday of Martin Luther King Jr. -- getting out of bed was especially difficult. But don't despair! Rather than dwelling on the start of a new week as a bad thing, think of it as a fresh opportunity to do more of the things you want to do over the next couple of days. Maybe you're dead set on losing weight and welcome the chance to hit the gym early in the week, or look forward to squeezing in time to read your favorite book during your lunch breaks. Although everyone looks forward to the weekend, the bulk of the week is spread over the five days most of us have to go to work. That being said, we might as well do all we can to make Monday through Friday as enjoyable and productive as possible. That "I don't want to go back to work" feeling starts to set in as early as Sunday morning for many people. But rather than focusing on the most onerous aspects of the com...

I'm just about halfway into the 700+ page behemoth  Alexander Hamilton , which served as the inspiration for the hit Broadway musical. The author of the book, Ron Chernow, took the liberty of littering the book with a wide array of big words, many of which have prompted me to pull out my trusty dictionary. One such unfamiliar word that caught my attention was cynosure.  Cynosure stands for an object that serves as a focal point of attention and admiration. Hamilton, the first U.S. secretary of the treasury, captivated women with his good looks and charm. It's no surprise, then, that he built a reputation as something of a flirt, not missing an opportunity to strike up conversations with beautiful ladies at balls and banquets (all this despite being married). Even men found him arresting on account of his intelligence, boldness, and knack for conversation. In modern parlance, many would probably just employ "hunk" or "eye candy." Had you ever ...

If you're looking for a place to add to your bucket list, The Mark Twain House and Museum in Hartford, Connecticut merits consideration. Samuel Longhorne Clemens (1835-1910), better known by his pen name Mark Twain, wrote such famous works as Adventures of Huckleberry Finn and The Adventures of Tom Sawyer . The house -- which Twain lived in between 1874 and 1903 -- recently opened up his library for use by writers, who have the chance to write in the library for three-hour stretches. The price tag? A not-so-cheap $50, and that's as long as they reserve in advance. The house already offers a wide array of classes and workshops, but the chance to write uninterrupted in Samuel Clemens’ study is an exceptionally rare one. The resplendent, Victorian-era library was one of the crowning gems of Clemens’ home. Inside, members of the family would recite poetry and Clemens would regale guests with excerpts from his new works. Interestingly, though it’s imbued with literary s...

Let's face it: We're all different. Some of us are shy and meek. Some of us are bold and aggressive. Some of us are bookish and cerebral. And still others love being the life of the party. No one personality is better than the other.  Just because I'm an introverted bookworm and you're a garrulous social butterfly doesn't mean either of us should prod the other into changing. We may neither hang out a lot nor have much in common, but we can still get along and communicate with one another tactfully. People can share their interests with others without any expectation of the person liking them. Yes, people are more likely to associate with like-minded individuals who share their passions -- baseball fans with other baseball fans, politics junkies with other politics junkies -- but we should still be accepting of others' personality, interests, and lifestyle, even if they don't align with ours. Yet, there are those who attack others who are diffe...

On this day in 1784, the Continental Congress ratified the Treaty of Paris at the Maryland State House in Annapolis. The document, negotiated in part by future President John Adams, included terms for ending the Revolutionary War and established the United States as a sovereign nation. The treaty set territorial boundaries in North America formerly held by the British, outlined America’s fishing rights off the coast of Canada, and put an end to reprisals against British loyalists. Two other future presidents, Thomas Jefferson and James Monroe, were among the delegates who ratified the document on January 14, 1874. Thomas Jefferson had planned to travel to Paris to join Adams, Benjamin Franklin, and John Jay to begin talks with the British in 1782. However, after a delay in his travel plans, Jefferson got word that a cessation of hostilities had been announced by King George III the prior December. Jefferson arrived in Paris in late February after the treaty had already been negot...

Nelson Mandela once said, "A good head and a good heart are always a formidable combination." I think he was spot on. We should never allow the heart to dictate all our decisions, nor should we let rationality call the shots on its own all the time. Instead, we should balance what the mind wants with what the heart desires. The two should work in tandem with and complement each other, thus allowing us to make better decisions in the process. Wearing your heart on your sleeve all the time might lead to your being taken advantage of. And using logic as a guide without ever considering your emotions can be conducive to playing it too safe. With the latter, you're being too carefree. With the former, you're being too rigid. The ideal? Striking a healthy balance between the two. As long as the heart checks the brain and vice-versa, one is better positioned to make better choices. Do you agree with Mandela?

Buddha once said, "Happiness does not depend on what you have or who you are. It solely relies on what you think." Marcus Aurelius echoed that sentiment in stating that "the happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts." The common thread here is that the mind exerts a powerful influence on our happiness. Two people can be in the same exact situation -- say, waiting in a long line for an amusement park ride -- and process the situation differently in their heads. One person might grouse that it's hot and they're wasting time waiting in line when they could be doing so many other things. The other might feel the wait is well worth it if it means enjoying an experience with his kids that they'll likely treasure for the rest of their lives. As I've stated in earlier posts, there are two surefire ways to feeling happier: (1) Giving to others, and (2) Being thankful for what you have. Though most of us don't have ever...

All of us have met someone at one point or another who refuses to apologize or admit they're ever wrong. You know, the ones who find guilt and remorse alien concepts? One of the most admirable qualities a person can possess is humility -- one who does good deeds without seeking a pat on the back for them. On the flip side, pride is among the most unflattering characteristics I can think of. I speak of those who think they're always right -- no matter what. They have a chronic inability to find fault in anything they say or do. Unfortunately, even those we call friends can sometimes fall in this bucket. None of my buddies are big on saying "sorry." After they've said or done something that rubbed me the wrong way, they simply wait a few days and hope I will have forgotten about it by then. Last year, I apologized to a friend for promising to do something with him and later reneging on that promise. I realized it was wrong of me to back out of something I ...

Ever heard the word " Pteronophobia "? I hadn't either until today. It turns out that Pteronophobia is the fear of feathers, or being tickled by feathers!  Who knew? The origin of the word "ptero" is Greek (meaning feather) and "phobia" is Greek (meaning fear). Indeed, Pteronophobia is considered to be a specific phobia. Symptoms vary by person depending on their level of fear. The symptoms typically include heightened anxiety, dread, rapid breathing, shortness of breath, irregular heartbeat, excessive sweating, dry mouth, and nausea. Many people hate being tickled, and those with Pteronophobia can't even stand the sight of feathers, as it gives them the tingles or heebie-jeebies. I never thought that people could be afraid of feathers, and I'm sure there are many more phobias out there associated with inanimate objects. Do you have any phobias? Had you heard of Pteronophobia before?

If you caught President Barack Obama's emotionally charged Farewell Address last night, you likely cried of joy or sadness depending on your political affiliation. I don't want to get in the weeds of politics in this post. Instead, I want to drive home the point that whether you love Obama or hate his guts -- whether you agree or disagree with him on issues of great significance ranging from the economy to healthcare -- you have to concede that he is classy, eloquent, and boasts a beautiful family. Most people on both sides of the aisle would acknowledge that while President-elect Trump is also bright and has a lovely family, he's nowhere near as polished and articulate as the outgoing president. But as the outcome of the 2016 election clearly demonstrated, many people are tired of political correctness. They're willing to excuse Trump's bombastic, unfiltered style so long as he makes good on his promises -- creating jobs, building a wall, and so on. Wheth...

They say happiness is entirely subjective in that what makes one person happy might not have the same effect on someone else. Interestingly, not only is listening to sad music very common, but it has been linked with increased happiness around the world. In a study that looked at nearly 800 people on the eastern and western hemispheres, researchers discovered that listening to sad music generated beneficial emotional effects like regulating negative emotion and mood as well as consolation. Put simply, these findings have me baffled, and I'm sure I'm not the only one. When I want to get in a good mood, I listen to upbeat, uplifting music. Such songs include "Happy" by Pharrell Williams, "Can't Stop the Feeling" by Justin Timberlake, and "Walking on Sunshine" by Katrina & The Waves. That sad music can make someone more merry seems counter-intuitive. Nothing depresses me more than listening to songs involving people dying or having...

I noticed a quote online the other day that not only rings true for most of us, but perfectly sums up some of life's biggest ironies: "It takes sadness to know happiness, noise to appreciate silence, absence to value presence." In other words, we need to experience what it's like not to have something in order to appreciate having it. We take something for granted and only begin to appreciate the happiness it brings us once it's no longer there. For example, I've ended friendships and relationships over the years with people who took advantage of my kind, generous nature. The deep sadness I was feeling -- coupled with the fact I was at wits end -- prompted me to pull the plug, and I eventually found happiness in the company of others who valued my time. Though disappointed and contrite at first, they later thanked me for teaching them what it really means to appreciate others. They ingrained this in their minds moving forward, helping them improve ...

Below are three awesome-sounding words you may never have heard or used in your life: First is esoteric , which means something that is intended for or likely to be understood by only a small number of people with a specialized knowledge or interest. Terms, procedures, and processes specific to a field you have little to no knowledge of or experience in can certainly seem esoteric. Nuclear physics is probably esoteric to a carpenter. Statistics like earned run average and walks plus hits per inning pitched are probably esoteric to those who don't give a lick about baseball. The other two words, arcane and recondite , essentially mean the same thing and serve as synonyms for esoteric. Common words that may be used in lieu of esoteric, arcane, and recondite include mysterious, secret, and obscure. Had you heard or used any of these words before? Which one sounds coolest to you? What's an example of something you'd consider esoteric, arcane, or recondite?

A relationship becomes insincere and pointless the moment you feel forced to be someone you're not . I don't care how much a person likes someone else. If you have to fake your personality to impress them, it's not worth it. On the other hand, you know when you're with the right person when you feel comfortable enough letting your true colors come out. Sure, in the beginning of the relationship, people try extra hard to make a good impression, doing their best to hide all their flaws. But sooner or later, a genuine version of yourself should be in evidence. You shouldn't have to force yourself to like or support something only because the other person does. Part of being in a relationship involves accepting each others' differences. Just because your partner is a football fanatic or history buff doesn't mean you to have to be one. Having different views and disparate hobbies can be advantageous to a relationship. The former can make for interesti...

What do you hunger for so much that no matter how hard you try, your appetite never seems sated? Is it food like chocolate or French fries? Hugs and kisses? Approval from others? For me, this is an easy one: knowledge. I love learning about all things history and psychology. A day that passes without learning something -- a new word, a new phrase, about groundbreaking research in consumer psychology, and so on -- feels like a day wasted. Nothing in this world can extinguish my intellectual curiosity. While everyone has their reasons for lamenting the fact that life is short, mine include the harsh reality that we can only learn so much during our limited time on this planet. To me, few things are as enriching as becoming more knowledgeable, more intelligent, more erudite. Whether it's learning how to use a formula to solve a mathematical problem or being able to expound on significant historical events, it feels great to "get" something -- and it's...

In a recent post, I discussed how Macy's holiday sales fell well below expectations, prompting it to close 68 stores nationwide. The Limited, a once-popular women's clothing brand that offers workwear and casual attire, has met an even darker fate: It shuttered all of its stores around the country. Only its website will remain up and running, and it will continue to ship nationwide. Despite owning such popular companies as Victoria's Secret and Abercrombie & Fitch, the brand fell on hard times in the mid-2000s. Sun Capital Partners, a private firm, took over its management in 2007. Still, like Macy's and other brick-and-mortar retailers, The Limited has had a hard time fending off e-commerce giants like Amazon, not to mention fast fashion stores like Forever 21 and H&M. The news comes as a shock to many people who have been shopping at The Limited for a long time, including my sister and wife. In my view, The Limited and Macy's chief problem bo...

Who would have thought that Macy's would be in such a slump? The department store's shares dropped over 9 percent following the market's close Wednesday after it posted disappointing holiday sales and released the locations of 68 stores it plans to close nationwide as it aims to turn its fortunes around. Macy's comparable sales tumbled over 2 percent in November and December; it expects full-year diluted earnings to be in a range of $2.95 to $3.10 -- considerably lower than the $3.15 to $3.40 it was hoping for. In an effort to cut costs and streamline operations, Macy's said it will eliminate layers of management and will work to reduce other non-payroll costs. As a result of these steps, the company expects its work force will shrink by 6,200. Plus, some 3,900 workers will be displaced by the store closures and some of these employees may be reassigned. The store closures reflect an attempt to reverse slumping sales at its established shops, with the de...

A man named Walter Summerford must have had the worst luck in the world. He was struck by lightening -- not once, not twice, but THREE times in his lifetime!  The odds of this happening to someone must be one in 100 billion! But there's more... It turns out that in 1916, four years after he died, his grave was also struck by lightening!  He was a living, breathing lightning rod on earth, and even when he was dead, the poor man couldn't get a break! Records show that he was a sportsman, meaning his profession increased his chances of getting hit considerably. Getting struck by lightening once is scary enough; I can't imagine going through that ordeal three times. Summerford was fortunate enough to survive after being struck on three occasions. Yet, even more shocking is the fact that a U.S. park ranger named Roy Sullivan was hit by lightning on SEVEN different occasions, earning the nickname "Human Lightning Conductor" and a place in the Guinness Bo...

It's only January 4, but you'd be surprised how quickly some people break their New Year's resolution(s). I've resolved to accomplish two things from the get-go: (1) Lose weight, and (2) Read every single day. So far, I've done just that, losing a pound within the last two days while reading at least five pages daily. After the novelty of the New Year has worn off, it can be all too tempting to crawl back into our comfort zone. But we must resist the urge to revert to our old ways, whether it be snacking at all hours of the day or always putting exercise on the back burner. The New Year provides the opportunity to start anew -- physically, mentally and emotionally -- and that means pressing the "reset" button rather than the "rewind" button. A person can begin working toward their goals any day of the year -- whether January 1, April 20, or September 30. But somehow, the start of the year gives one the feeling of starting with a clean...

Don't worry about what may go wrong . Instead, get excited over what could go right ! This is sound advice even for me. I tend be a little paranoid and cynical at times, but I've resolved to be more optimistic this year. There comes a point where we need to accept one thing: There are things in life that we have no control over. Things will not always go our way, no matter how hard we try to shape the outcome. Life is like a rollercoaster -- it has its ups and downs, but we might as well make the most of the ride! There's a difference between being cautious and being so worried about what may go wrong that you refuse to take any chances in life. Life is short. If we don't take risks every once in a while, we'll never know what it's like to grow and achieve a milestone. The most rewarding things we experience in life -- the ones we look back on most fondly -- tend to be those that involve a lot of hard work and frustration. Ultimately, nothing taste...