How To Understand People

People often ask me if it's better to be an early bird or a procrastinator. An early bird aims to do things well in advance -- whether it's pay bills before they're due, book flights, complete a project weeks before the deadline, and so forth. A procrastinator , on the other hand, habitually leaves everything for the last minute. Many might say the answer is obvious -- that being an early bird is more favorable in that you get things done early.  My answer to them is that either extreme is bad. All the way through high school, I was the king of procrastination, sometimes waiting until the day before a paper was due to write it. Once I got to college, I did a 180 degree turn and aimed to finish projects days, if not weeks, ahead of time. This seeped into my personal life as well; for example, it became the norm to pay bills the very day I received them in the mail. The problem with being too much of an early bird -- much like being a procrastinator -- is that it t...

The happiest people aren't those who have the best of everything . If that were the case, you would never see millionaire athletes and celebrities getting into crippling debt, being arrested for drugs or driving drunk, settling nasty divorces with their spouses, or, in the worst cases, committing suicide. Instead, the happiest people make the best of everything they have.  The key to being happy is striking the right balance between the desire to acquire more and achieving a state of contentedness with what you already hold in your possession. Some people can't help themselves. They want a brand new car every year or two. They want the latest iPhone as soon as it comes out, even if their version still works perfectly. I'm the polar opposite: I use things until they're almost falling apart. I held on to my last car for 10 years, and it still pained me to part with it. The only thing that prompted me to sell it was the fact it was mysteriously hydroplaning in ...

Can you believe it? Summer is finally over! Friday, September 22 officially kicked off the fall season. This can only mean four things: 1. Temperatures are dropping, or are soon to drop.  For someone like me who loves cold weather -- and gets very little of it in my hometown of South Florida -- this is certainly a welcome change. Unfortunately, it's warm year-round here with the exception of a few weeks in late winter/early spring. I'll take anything we can get, though, even if it's a mere five-degree "cooldown." 2. New and returning shows. Networks premier a slew of new shows in the fall. Meanwhile, loyal fans of returning shows like Law and Order and Scandal are treated to a new season of never-before-seen episodes. It's a great time to be a boob tube maniac. 3. The holidays are approaching. Most of us immediately associate fall with the changing of the leaves (i.e., yellow, orange, red, and brown), cornucopias, pumpkins, scarecrows, turkeys, and, o...

In life, human beings are prone to break things -- everything from vases and clothing to lips and legs. But this post specifically addresses three non-tangible things that should never be broken. Can you guess what they are? The three things that should never be broken in life are trust, promises, and hearts. We're all human and can acknowledge breaking one or more of these on at least a couple of occasions -- just as we can cite specific cases where others have done it at our expense. All three of these revolve around commitment. When you place your trust  in someone, you are counting on them to come through in some way. It can be anything from babysitting your child to expecting that they'll pay their half of the rent every month. Sometimes, though, certain situations merit a declaration of assurance -- whether written or verbal -- that the person will do something. A promise is essentially a pledge or vow that we tend to associate with wedding vows ("I ...

I'm going to go against the grain of society and say that if you're a quiet person -- and like being that way -- you shouldn't aim to fundamentally change who you are just to appease other people. On the other hand, you should take pride in being different from the vast majority of people out there. I get so annoyed when people -- be they coworkers or acquaintances -- ask others why they're so quiet. It makes me want to turn around and ask them, "And why can't you keep your mouth shut?" Of course, there are situations in which you can't escape communicating with others -- interviewing for a job, making a presentation, calling a disgruntled customer over the phone, etc. Sometimes you just have to "fake it to make it." But that doesn't mean you have to change the essence of who you are. Why would you? Let's face it: No matter how hard you may try to change from a timid, unassuming introvert to a loquacious extrovert, the real ...

Some of the people in your inner circle -- whether friends, coworkers, or acquaintances -- may attempt to convince you that they know what's best for you, even if you beg to differ.  In essence, they're saying that they know you better than you know yourself! This is, of course, utterly preposterous.  No one but you knows all your fears, misgivings, hopes, and dreams. No one other than you has been at your side 24 hours a day, seven days a week, every single day of your life.  While your parents, siblings, or friends are likely to have taught you a few valuable lessons as you've gotten older, there are others you've learned through personal experience.  That being said, how can a person claim to have a better handle on you than, well, you? Be wary of these people, I tell you, for they aim to foist their own beliefs and opinions on you as if they were the law.  Whatever you do, do not cave. People do this for one simple reason:...

Stop for a moment and pay careful attention to the words that follow, for they could change your life in a big way: You are a wonderful person -- one unlike any other on the face of the earth. You light up the world with a unique blend of talents, skills, and quirks. You've achieved great things and have so many more feats awaiting you. Others look up to and admire you. You inspire greatness in others and radiate optimism. You have every reason to love yourself for who you are.  Inevitably, some people will envy you. Some will try to tear you down. Some will spread lies about you in an effort to get you to share in their misery. But you don't have time for such naysayers. You embrace your uniqueness and love yourself to the fullest, not allowing anyone else to cramp your style or dampen your high spirits. You recognize that no one knows you better than you know yourself. No one else pays your bills or is there for you every single second of your life. You're your ...

The latest data breach being reported in the press is nothing short of mind-boggling. Of all the companies out there, you wouldn't expect Equifax, one of the three credit-reporting bureaus in the United States, to be hit by a massive hack, and boy, is this one a doozy: it's compromised the personal information of a whopping 143 million Americans. And it gets worse. Equifax is under fire for waiting six weeks before it notified the public last week. Rather than alerting people who were affected, it set up a website that wasn't available for days. Equifax offered free credit monitoring -- but to add insult to injury, they initially required those who enrolled to waive their right to sue the company. (It later backtracked, allowing people to sue if they sent it written notice within 30 days.) The beleaguered company added that credit card numbers for about over 200,000 people were exposed in the breach, as was "personal identifying information" on over 1...

Life is too short not to do what makes you happy -- whether it's reading, writing, painting, dancing, fishing, diving, mall hopping, watching movies, preaching the Gospel, going to sporting events, traveling, playing catch with your kids, fixing cars, hitting up museums, and the like. We've all heard the expression, "Do what you love and you'll never work a day in your life." I realize not all of us are fortunate enough to work in careers we love. Maybe we have to stay in our jobs to support our families. Perhaps we're at a point where starting over would mean going back to school, which isn't financially feasible. Or, chances are that what we love to do doesn't pay a livable wage. Luckily, we can do what we love on the side while keeping our full-time job. Indulge your creative bent by writing on a freelance basis. Enroll in a painting or guitar class at your local community college. Use your time after work to finally get that pastry busines...

I just finished reading a highly engrossing book called Diagnosing Jefferson - Evidence of a Condition that Guided His Beliefs, and Personal Associations by Norm Ledgin. The book makes the case that Thomas Jefferson -- Founding Father, 3rd president of the United States, and principal author of the Declaration of Independence -- suffered from a condition known as Asperger's Syndrome. Asperger's Syndrome is a developmental disorder closely tied to autism and characterized by higher than average intellectual ability coupled with impaired social skills and restrictive, repetitive patterns of activities and interest. Ledgin contends that Jefferson exhibited a bevy of characteristics that unequivocally placed him on the autism-Asperger's continuum: As a law student at the College of William & Mary in Williamsburg, he frequently studied 15 hours a day. He spoke four languages and learned to read Latin, Greek, Italian, French, and Spanish.  He had a remarkable memo...

I recently stumbled upon this perspicacious quote by 18th century essayist and poet Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882): "The only person you're destined to become is the person you decide to be." Let's stop for a moment and acknowledge the undeniable truthfulness contained in this one statement. Essentially, Emerson is saying that you are in the driver's seat. You are manning the ship otherwise known as your life, and the direction you take the ship in is of your choosing. Your will is your meal ticket. Whether you wish to be raking in the big bucks as a businessman; making a big difference in the community as a teacher; or simply living a quiet, unassuming life by the lake, you can fulfill your dreams so long as you: Work hard Believe in yourself Resist other's efforts to impose their views and opinions on you, and  Never give up Do things always turn out exactly as we planned? Obviously not. But part of the deal is navigating the vagari...