How To Understand People

Whether you're dating or friends with a quiet, unassuming person, never coax him into changing -- it's that simple. If you're simply not content with the person's personality, do yourselves a favor and part ways amiably. Press the other person too much to change and it can build feelings of resentment. The bottom line is this: We aren't wired in the same way--nor are we always inclined to change our temperament to appease others. It simply isn't fair to expect someone to reengineer her personality to your liking. In a friendship or relationship, we should accept people for who they are-- flaws and all.

Since I graduated from college, I've met only one co-worker that I've clicked with enough to consider a friend. In fact, we even met up outside of work a few times for drinks, to attend ballgames, etc. A few years after I left the company, both of us married our sweethearts, which means we hardly see each other anymore. (She invited me to her wedding, and I invited her to mine.) I have been in the workforce now for almost 10 years and have only been able to forge one friendship. The fact of the matter is that it isn't always easy for a work relationship to morph into a friendship. People may not gel well together because of age, interests, or priorities. Sometimes you don't know whom you can trust; if the friendship goes awry, it can create a certain awkwardness in the workplace. Also, we may act differently away from the workplace than we do within the confines of a cubicle, thus making us reluctant to expose that side of our personality to someone we work with i...

Music can indeed enhance relationships, and I'll tell you how. Let's say you and your wife are in the car looking for a good song on the radio. You suddenly come across a station playing a song that first came out the year you both met. This brings back memories of a special time in your life journey together. Though most people break out the photo album when wishing to recollect special moments in their lives, songs, too, can say a thousand words. They uplift, inspire, excite, and entertain us. I frequently play songs on my iPod that remind me of high school, as they were released during those 4 years. The same goes for ones that came out around the time I was pulling all nighters for college courses. That's the beauty of songs -- they're not only for dancing or easy listening, but they also connect us to the past.  And when you and your partner listen to songs together that conjure up great memories, it not only puts you both in a better mood, but it positivel...

If you were to ask someone what the worst thing his friend or partner could do to jeopardize a friendship or relationship, what would he likely say? Aside from obvious things like stealing or physically harming the person, he'd probably cite lying as something that could very well derail the relationship. When someone lies to us, we feel betrayed. Simply put, it's a breach of trust, and once lying becomes a habit, we begin to question whether we can confide in the person or should even trust her moving forward. I've occasionally caught friends in a lie. Thankfully, they've been what we generally call "white lies," but it can be bothersome to know that some of the people you trust most in this world could at times be dishonest. When you catch someone lying to you, don't seek revenge by doing the same thing to him or her. Two wrongs never make a right! Just approach the person and -- respectfully, but firmly -- tell her that if the two of you are to ...

Just as I've noted that cementing friendships with genuine, caring people is not easy to do, finding trustworthy co-workers is just as challenging. How do you know whom you can trust in the workplace? That's the 6-million dollar question. I have found that most people act like your pal and before you know it they're talking smack behind your back or someone else's. As soon as someone comes over to gossip about someone else, I know never to confide in that individual, as he or she is just as likely to do it to me. I resist all temptation to gossip because not only is it unfair to the person being targeted (since they can't defend themselves), but who knows if the person I gossip to is going to rat me out? Tread lightly in the world of office politics, and don't be cajoled into saying things behind one's back. It may come back to haunt you.

Have you noticed how infectious negativity can be in a relationship? When my wife is in a cranky mood, it doesn't take very long for my attitude to change and mirror hers. Thankfully, happiness can have a rubbing off effect of its own, but negativity seems to be more potent and longer lasting. A nasty, bitter argument is enough to lead to divorce and thus undo 15 years of marital bliss. I've seen it happen with several couples. Also, it seems easier for negative thoughts and experiences to stay ingrained in our minds than positive ones. Is it any wonder that politicians and marketers often resort to negative advertising to achieve their aims? Most of us would agree that, whether in relationships or the workplace, sometimes our good deeds go unnoticed and it's our mistakes that get more attention. Would you say that negativity tends to overpower the positive in your relationship?

People say it isn't always easy to forge new friendships or relationships, and with good reason. The fact is that we don't click with everyone. And even if we do click with someone in the early stages of a relationship, that may not be the case five or even ten years down the line. So why don't we click with everyone? Different personalities: When people have different temperaments, it opens the door to bickering. The person with the stronger personality tends to overpower the more docile one, leading to feelings of resentment in the latter. Though many people believe that friends with completely different temperaments can balance each other out, studies have disproven such a notion. Different interests: While most people's idea of a fun night is hitting a bar or club with a group of 10, I'd be happy sitting at home watching Netflix or going to a restaurant for a quiet dinner. Unfortunately, the less gregarious types may feel pressured into socializing mor...

Have you stopped a second to assess the friendships in your life? Would you call them friendships where there is give and take, or are they mostly one-sided? Do you only seem to hear from the person when he needs a favor, or does he sometimes call out of the blue just to see how you're doing? I saw a video yesterday in which friends were challenged to guess what the other person sought to get out of the friendship. Some cited emotional support while others mentioned having someone with which to cultivate similar interests. It's an interesting question to say the least -- one that I've never pondered myself: What are one's needs in a friendship? Those needs, of course, are likely to shift over time. You may become friends with someone in your English class after pairing up for a project and continue being study buddies for the remainder of the semester. After the class ends, your needs are no longer about helping each other in an effort to get a good grade. Now...

In psychology, an introvert is defined as someone who draws energy from within. He is introspective and enjoys solitary pursuits like reading and writing (that describes me to a tee). An extrovert, on the other hand, draws energy from the outside. He thrives on social interaction and feels most alive when in the presence of others. Contrary to popular belief, introversion has nothing to do with shyness. It all has to do with how you derive energy -- whether internally or externally. In other words, a person could actually be both introverted and gregarious; however, after social functions, he or she will seek refuge in a quiet spot in order to recharge his batteries. In relationships where one person is an introvert and the other an extrovert, things can get hairy unless you come to terms with each other's so-called wiring. You'll have to make compromises, like spending one weekend attending social outings (appeases the extrovert) and the next at home watching movies (app...

Here are three tips on how to keep your relationship with your partner or spouse exciting: Be spontaneous: Take your special someone to a nice restaurant, or surprise him or her with a weekend getaway to her favorite hotspot. The element of surprise dials up the level of fun and excitement in the relationship. Be unpredictable: To piggyback on my first point, do things to keep your partner on his or her feet. Don't always arrive home and call the other person at the same time each day. Dress differently once in a while. Wear a different perfume. Try a new hairstyle. Grow a goatee. Take up a new hobby. Such changes keep us enthralled and wondering what our special someone will think of next.  Be nice but firm and confident at the same time: Being nice and romantic works is fine as long as it's done in moderation. You don't want to become a pushover. Never be afraid to stand up for what you believe in. Remain firm in your convictions. Call your partner out (respectfully...

Ever notice how you behave one way around one friend and differently around others? Have you noticed how you act one way when talking to someone face-to-face and another when two more people are added to the mix? It's easy to explain why this is so. When we're alone with someone else, we're more vulnerable. We don't have an audience to regale. When others are present, however, we put a facade to cast ourselves in a more favorable light. We may suddenly become sillier and act in ways that run contrary to our true selves. At the end of the day, it's another form of peer pressure -- pressure to conform to the "group." We all crave to be noticed, to be accepted, to be part of the group. The biggest problem is when you find yourself acting unnaturally to please others -- that is a big no no!  Don't ever compromise your character in order to appease others. You never know when those people will turn their backs on you. Do you agree? Why else do you...

You'll notice that among the myriad topics touched upon in this blog is our relationship with money. Even if I were a millionaire, I'd still probably drive a modest car, like a Toyota Camry or Honda Accord, and eat at not-so-expensive restaurants like Chili's and Outback Steakhouse. Is it because I'm a cheapskate? Not at all. I value simplicity and loathe drawing attention to myself. I come from humble beginnings and have never viewed luxury as the key to a more fulfilling life. Sure, expensive homes and cars will likely make you happy in the beginning. But then what? What do you have to strive for if you already live in a mansion and drive a Maserati? An even more expensive digs or car? I think transcendentalists like Thoreau and Emerson were on to something when they stressed the rewards of leading a simple, unassuming life. In my opinion, we derive more value from experiences and learning new things than by amassing material possessions. Do you agree? Wha...

They say that many people who enter relationships or get married soon forget their friends exist. If this the rule, I am most definitely the exception. I'm married now, but even when my now-wife and I were dating, we would extend invitations to close friends to go with us to the movies, restaurants, and other places of interest. Even after being married for six months, I continue making an effort to schedule outings with friends. Ironically, some of them seem less interested in hanging out now that I'm married. Wait a second. Isn't it supposed to be the other way around? I thought married folks were the ones who suddenly became too busy for friends? Well, it goes to show you that in the realm of friendships, nothing is that clear-cut. I've always made a conscious effort to reserve time in my schedule for my friends. But I sense that once you get married, single friends assume you're busier and are reluctant to "impose" by proposing an outing. They ...

Have you noticed that you no longer have anything in common with many of the friends you went to school with? Have you noticed that the sexual passion that pervaded the early stages of your relationship or marriage has died down in recent years? As alluded to in earlier posts, relationships change over time. The friend you met in high school or person you married after college may not remotely resemble the individual he is today -- and the same goes for you. The early stages of a relationship, particularly when both people are still getting to know each other, are generally the steamiest and most exciting. Once the relationship matures, especially post-marriage and children, that intense passion dwindles and gives way to a bond grounded in companionship. Relationships and friendships evolve, just like the people in them. It's unlikely you'll be hitting up bars and nightclubs in your 50s like you did in your 20s. Children change the whole dynamic of a relationship -- no ...

We all know that our friendships have evolved over time. Those same individuals we connected with so closely at one point may seem completely different now, whether because of distance, work, kids, or other changing life circumstances. It's very easy to cast blame on ourselves for this: "Why didn't I visit him more?" "Was I a good enough friend?" "Did I take our friendship for granted?" But we must accept the fact that it's normal for friendships to change through the normal course of time. If you find yourself pointing the finger only at yourself, it's likely you're reflecting only upon the great moments in your friendship. But what about your friend? Was she flawless? Did she never do anything to upset YOU? We assess a friendship with rose-colored glasses. The fact is our friends are probably as much to blame -- if not more -- for a friendship losing its luster. For example, my closest friend moved 6 hours away last year a...

Judging from the countless married couples who first met online, the answer is a resounding yes. Using the internet as a means through which to find love definitely has its perks. You can zero in on suitors who share the same interests as you (reading, hiking, etc) and preferences (Christian, no kids, smoker). It's easier to weed people out online, where users are normally asked to fill out profiles indicating their hobbies, information about their job, etc. Sure, people can lie whether in person or cyberspace, but I have found it can be easier to "pre-screen" others online based on the information provided. There are pitfalls, however, to meeting people online. If there's too long a lag between the time you meet online and the day you meet in person, you may begin to idealize the person you're talking to. Since you have incomplete information, you begin to fill in the gaps on your own: You assume that if the person comes across as fun and interesting in w...

On the one hand, many people credit social media sites like Facebook with helping them stay connected to friends and loved ones. But is social media also to blame for making these relationships more impersonal? Many of us rely on Facebook to communicate with friends who live within easy walking or driving distance. It seems Facebook is making us lazier: Instead of calling someone on the phone or visiting her in person to wish her a Happy Birthday, we post a message on a virtual Wall. While the convenience Facebook provides us in this busy, hectic world are obvious, we shouldn't rely on this and other sites as the sole means of communication with others. Every once in a while, pay your friend a visit, or at least call him on the phone. This conveys that you're making am effort to see or hear the person, which, in my opinion, carries a lot more weight than a Facebook post.

Not only do we feel more attractive when driving a luxurious car as opposed to a more budget-friendly vehicle, but we perceive others as finding us more attractive simply because we're in it. Psychologically, we use products to enhance our image, and many of us go as far as to view products as extensions of ourselves. Kids feel cooler in a Lebron James jersey, women feel classier walking around with a Louis Vuitton purse, and many of us feel smarter wearing black frame glasses. We use products to help us project a certain appearance to others. But one thing to remember is that simplicity never goes out of style. We shouldn't try so hard to achieve a certain look that we end up making regrettable decisions in the process -- whether it's overspending or doing things that go against your very nature (wearing very revealing clothes, getting a slew of tattoos, etc.) Don't work so hard to impress others that the real you gets lost in translation. Be happy with who you a...

Whether we're talking love or money, it's human nature to want what or whom we can't have -- whether it's $20 million in the bank or that attractive neighbor who is already spoken for. But studies suggest that the anticipation of wanting something can be more potent than the satisfaction that comes from getting what you desire. In other words, long for the unobtainable -- say, a Porsche -- can be stronger than the joy of having it parked in your garage. Why is this the case? Well, human beings have an innate drive to acquire resources -- much as we did back in the caveman days. Psychologically, our mind is not at ease until we obtain something that falls in our radar screens. The challenge of obtaining it is exciting-- it gets our adrenalines going. And if a neighbor, friend, or coworker already has it, that makes us yearn for it even more. However, once the novelty wears off, we set our sights on something else. Hopefully, you don't have the same mentalit...

The name I've given to what holds a relationship or friendship together is "glue." If you and your friend are close mostly because you're taking classes together, then that is the glue. If you met the person you recently started dating at a book club, and the fact you're both avid readers is what brought you together, that is your glue. If you live far from each other but stay connected thanks to the 2+ hours you both spend on Messenger each night, you've discovered your glue. Unfortunately, the glue can wear off easily as soon as someone's circumstances change. You may suddenly drift apart because one of you graduates, or one person decides he is no longer interested in the hobby that brought you together. Relationships that have the greatest potential to survive are those where both individuals share similar interests or are in a similar life stage. For example, notice how you were more likely to befriend sophomores in high school if you were one y...

As tempting as it may be for us as consumers to splurge on items we have little need for, we must do our best to exercise self-control. How many times have you spent well over $100 on a steak dinner at a fancy restaurant like Morton's and later wished you had just gone to Outback? How many times have you purchased an expensive shirt solely on the basis of the brand and later wished you had gotten something more affordable at Old Navy? I'm guilty of this myself. Now, I'm not saying we should never treat ourselves to something a little more expensive. It's when you find yourself doing this often -- and dipping more and more into your savings -- that it becomes a problem. You should always make sure that your reserve is ample enough to cover bills and leave you with money for a rainy day. If savings begin to run low, necessitating the need to reach for your credit card, it should prompt you to put the brakes and reevaluate your spending habits. Let's not forg...

"My best friend has pulled away and it's tearing me apart." "After addressing how I feel in a respectful manner, my boyfriend continues to act aloof with me." I've found myself and some of my friends issue the above complaints on several occasions over the years. The thing we have to keep in mind is this: We can't read people's thoughts or control their behavior. You'll drive yourself batty mulling over why people act a certain way -- why they can't just act like the friend or partner you've come to love. If, after bringing it to their attention, they continue to behave in ways that hurt or upset you, you have two options: (1) Back off and let them sort out their feelings (2) End the friendship or relationship once and for all The only constant in life is change, especially when it concerns human beings. As I've noted in earlier posts, life circumstances, conflicting schedules, and diverging interests cause people to drift a...

There's a principle in psychology called the fundamental attribution error. Essentially, it means that people cite dispositional rather than situational factors when attempting to understand someone's behavior. For example, you may get to work late twice in the same week because of car trouble. However, your boss may not buy it and regard you as irresponsible. I'll give you another example that hits closer to home. My wife has a stressful job and comes home feeling drained every day. Because of this, she has a tendency to fall asleep early, which perturbs a sworn night owl like myself. Once it begins happening too often -- say, three or four nights in a row -- I find myself pointing the finger at her for not doing more to prevent it from happening. As you can see, with the fundamental attribution error, we blame the person -- her personality, tendencies, and so on -- rather than external factors like someone's workload. Before you cast blame on your friend or pa...

To be sure, studies suggest it's very important -- but a physical connection should be complemented by a strong emotional and mental bond. Good sex only takes a couple so far. Once both people come out from under the sheets, there needs to be something much deeper in order to sustain the relationship. My wife and I have loads of sexual chemistry, but that's far from the only reason I chose to spend the rest of my life with her. She's also very sweet and intelligent, and we share many of the same interests -- from watching movies to frequenting museums. In short, while good sex certainly enhances a relationship, it's not a panacea. We'll all become old and wrinkly one day. Sex drives will subside. But love and companionship, provided both people make an effort, can endure for a lifetime..

In a relationship, the person who cares the least has the most power. Or so they say. I do think there is some validity to the above statement. For example, in my own relationship, I find that I can get the upper hand when I keep my emotions in check. There's just something alluring about someone who is comfortable in his own shoes, has a wide range of hobbies to choose from, and needs no one but himself to make him happy. When you communicate to your partner that she enhances -- not completes -- your life, you'll earn a lot more respect. This is not to say that you should remain in your own little bubble, not be affectionate or appreciative of everything your partner does for you, etc. It just means that the second you convey you're entirely dependent on her to be happy, you relinquish power -- and a lot of it. You should view your partner as enriching an already-content-life. If you feel that your life would be incomplete without someone else in it, you may...

Everyone and his brother is on Facebook nowadays. We use it for myriad reasons: to keep in touch with friends and family, post pictures, play word games, and so on. But does Facebook have a positive effect on our relationships? Or are relationships adversely affected by the social media juggernaut? For the most part, I think Facebook "does a relationship good." How else would we find out that our friend just got a promotion? That our sibling is planning a trip to the Bahamas? That our coworker just broke up with his girlfriend? In this day and age, Facebook, not the phone, is the medium through which we wish people a Happy Birthday. (It sure helps that the site itself reminds us of each "friend's" birthday.) I think Facebook becomes a problem when friends rely exclusively on the site to communicate with each other. Instead, time spent on Facebook should be balanced with a healthy dose of face-to-face contact. In other words, I believe too much Facebook b...

I got married in March of this year, and the days leading up to it were among the most stressful I've had in a long time. But 6 months later, I look back fondly on that time and almost wish I could relive the craziness. Isn't that bizarre? In reality, what made it so special is that, for one day, all eyes were on me. For one day, people had to shell out hundreds of dollars and take time off from work -- for me. It was a rare opportunity to get my closest friends and family members under one roof at the same time. I don't think I will get to experience that in my lifetime again. But it wasn't only the wedding itself that made that time special. Friends from out of town came to take part in bachelor and pre-wedding activities. As we get older, our life circumstances (jobs, kids, etc) pull us in different directions. Most of us will admit that we aren't as close to our closest friends as we were many years ago. Even as a hardcore introvert, I admit that I c...

Though it may sound counterintuitive, we can feel lonelier in a crowd than alone at home reading a book or watching TV. I am a bookish introvert and will never apologize for it. I crave solitude, especially following a social function or a day of meetings at work. I see no better way to recharge than by plopping down on the couch with a book or pen and paper. What I've come to realize is that, when forced to choose between the company of a large group of people and my own, I have no qualms about spending an afternoon all by my lonesome. In a large group, people tend to speak over each other. There's very little substance and a copious amount of chit chat. If being by myself isn't an option, I prefer small groups of no more than 2 or 3 people. Such groups are small enough where everyone can get a word in edgewise. Unfortunately, we can also feel lonelier in relationships than alone, and it's these kind of relationships that should be avoided at all costs. Whethe...

Last year, my best friend relocated to a city 5-6 hours away for a new job. Thirteen months or so later, I am still feeling the void he created when he left. We met during our first semester of college, when we were both enrolled in an Honors program that required students to maintain a high grade point average. Unfortunately, he fell below the required GPA after one semester and was kicked out of the program. Still, we managed to keep in touch and see each other every so often. In fact, we continued to meet up every Friday to play basketball (a tradition that started shortly after we met). In 2005, both of us entered into relationships, and he married his now-wife the following year. As can be expected when friends get into relationships, we experienced a noticeable "cool off" period for a few years -- we would now go months without seeing each other in person and weeks without talking on the phone. In 2009, my friend and his wife had a child, which seemed to have dr...

A preponderance of research in social psychology shows relationships are far more likely to last if both partners share common beliefs and interests. Even more surprising, a relationship in which both individuals are comparable in the looks department has a better chance of surviving than one where one person is clearly "out of the other's league." Though you may have heard that "opposites do attract," thus far, no research has been able to back up that assertion. So what does this mean for us? If you're single and looking for the pet-loving, bookish, sports aficionado type, you may never find exactly what you seek, but it pays to find someone who at least meets most of your criteria. And if there's something you refuse to compromise on, I.e., he must be a devout Catholic, then stick to your guns and wait for the right person. You don't want to settle for someone who strays too far from what you want in a mate; if you do, you'll be in for a...

We've all been there: Your spouse gets a promotion while you've been yearning for such an opportunity at your company for years. Your friend buys a new car, and you still find yourself with insufficient savings to buy one of your own. Your cousin gets engaged while you remain as single as they come. While it's normal to feel a tinge of jealousy when those around us seem to be prospering, we should not begrudge them their good fortune. After all, we all experience highs and lows in life -- moments of euphoria interspersed with tough challenges. Even though someone's life may seem perfect on the surface, we don't know what else is transpiring at home -- they could be having marital problems, suffer from undisclosed health issues, and so on. Therefore, instead of envying someone else's success -- whether it's that of your wife, brother or coworker -- we should feel happy for him or her. You never know when luck will be on YOUR side -- and you'll want th...

Have you noticed how hung up some people have become with brands? They seem to have an unrelenting hankering for only the top brands -- from Micheal Kors to Coach. Do people not realize that a brand is merely a logo with some words on it? Sure, the material may be more durable or whatever, but you can still find much more affordable alternatives without having to feel like you're skimping on quality. This goes to show you the powerful influence that advertisements exert on most of us. At the end of the day, a Honda Civic gets you from A to B like a Mercedes Benz does. And once the novelty of the more expensive purchase wears off, you may be left with buyer's remorse (or what we in the psychology field like to call "cognitive dissonance"). For some consumers, buying a premium brand elevates their feelings of self-worth, if temporarily. I think relying on material possessions to make you happy is detrimental in the long run. Products will always depreciate, an...

There's nothing in life like being able to rely on yourself for most of your needs. The reason I say "most" is because there are some needs we depend on others to meet given that we can't do so ourselves. For example, we rely on our spouses to fill our sexual needs, but we also depend on them for those of a mental or emotional kind; I.e., needing their support during tough times at work, and so on. For all other things, however, you should do everything possible to ensure that you can take care of them on your own. There's nothing worse than having to pester a friend or neighbor for money, a ride, or advice. Unfortunately, people out there -- not all of them, but a fair majority -- are only out for themselves. Not all of them will come to your aid when you need it most. So until the day you become so old you can no longer fend for yourself, stay on top of things and do what you have to do to remain as independent of others as you can. Save up. Take cooking...

According to a principle in social psychology termed the "mere exposure effect," just the opposite is true: Familiarity breeds likability. Mere exposure to things or people makes us like them more. Studies suggest that we like words we've come across in the past more than those with which we're completely unfamiliar. Just the fact that a person has the same name as you do -- or even that her name starts with the same letter as yours -- is likely to make you like her more. This explains why advertising is so effective. Repeated exposure to advertisements (provided this doesn't become incessant) increases the likelihood that we'll like and, in turn, purchase the products being promoted. In other words, if they hope to raise brand awareness of their products and get consumers to like them, marketers would be wise to invest in advertising. My hope is that now that you've been "exposed" tp this blog, you'll continue to like it more and more ...

Studies show that although men often get a bad rap for being "too hung up on looks," women are just as likely to cite physical attraction as a key reason for having gravitated to their respective partners. I always thought that women were more drawn to personality-centric attributes -- like kindness and a sense of humor -- rather than pretty eyes and a six pack. Apparently, women value the physical just as much as their male counterparts do, which is a surprising finding to say the least. What I have noticed, however, is that men are considerably more vocal -- and obvious -- about what they find physically attractive in someone of the opposite sex. We've all seen or met at least a few couple: Men who blatantly size up an attractive woman at the grocery store or mall. Some unabashedly whistle or throw kisses at these women. Have you ever seen a woman display such behavior when checking out a guy? Me neither. They're much more apt to give one or two looks, but...

I've noticed people have a tendency to treat people outside their immediate circle -- whether it be the mailman, the guy who mows the lawn every Friday, or their child's science teacher -- better than they do their spouses, friends or relatives. The reason for this is that people are always making an effort to put their best foot forward when interacting with people they don't know that well. On the other hand, you are accustomed to seeing your spouse and parents much more frequently, so there's no reason to be unusually nice. For example, your family may know you as the messy procrastinator - you've been that way your whole life -- so even if you tried, it'd be next to impossible to break that image of you they have seared in their minds. When we meet someone new, we are often more polite and reserved. Once we become comfortable enough, after a few years at least, we're more likely to receive them at the door in slippers.

Yes, you read that correctly. Research suggests that men are quicker to fall in love than women. Think that sounds counterintuitive? Well, get this: Research also shows that women are quicker to end relationships. Obviously, we know it doesn't happen this way in every relationship, but research indicates that women -- the fairer sex, the ones known to be highly emotional -- are generally in a position of power when the man is highly invested. It seems once a guy really "feels it" for a woman, he'll usually stop at nothing to express how he feels -- and will avoid doing anything that might jeopardize the relationship. When I first read about this, I must admit it left me scratching my head for a while. It almost seems as though the roles are reversed here: Men are known to be commitment-phobes who will find any excuse to fly solo and sleep around. But those are precisely the kinds of stereotypes we have to break. It's akin to saying that all women wan...

Thus far, this blog has solely explored our relationships with other people -- whether they be our friends, spouses, family members, or coworkers. While this will remain the crux of the blog, I would be remiss not to expound on our relationship with the medium of exchange on which we depend to procure goods and services -- money! I graduated summa cum laude with a bachelor's degree in marketing and a minor in psychology -- two subjects that certainly go hand in hand. In the coming weeks, I will be submitting intermittent posts that deal exclusively with money -- how we spend it, why we spend it, and ways to save it. I will also mention ways that money -- whether we have lots of it or not quite enough -- impacts our psychological well-being. Does money buy happiness? Does having more money boost your self-esteem? Can having more money make you more vain? These questions and many more will be answered in forthcoming posts. Again, while most of the posts will continue to have ...

Unfortunately, some people, like my friend Danny, disagree. He hasn't really been in a serious relationship his whole life and I am beginning to see why. He is way too hung up on girls' looks. Now, I know you have to feel SOME physical attraction toward the other person, but when you refuse to go for someone who is even a couple of pounds overweight, I think you're being too picky. We must all remember that looks fade over time. Sooner or later, we all become saggy with white hair. While it's important to find someone you click with on a physical level, it should not override all the other appealing attributes a person can bring into a relationship. So, if you're out there looking for the next Kim Kardashian, you may never find her.

The older I get, the more I realize that most people are out for themselves. When my closest friends get in contact with me, they usually begin the conversation by asking how I'm doing, how things are going at work, and so on. But sooner or later a request is thrown in -- whether it's to give them a ride, proofread a cover letter for a job application, or dispense some sort of advice. Gone are the days when people would actually call you because they were genuinely interested in talking to you -- with no strings attached. That's why I think I'll appoint my books, pen and paper, and pets to be my closest friends from now till I die. At least they'll always be there no matter what the circumstances.