How To Understand People

Can you guess what the single biggest complaint people have at restaurants is? I'll give you a hint: it's not the food . What diners grumble about more than anything else, per a recent study, is bad service . And this comes as no surprise, at least not to me. Bad food -- whether it's soggy fries or a steak that's a tad rare -- is more forgivable in that the waiter or waitress can simply bring you another item. Restaurants get busy, especially on Fridays and Saturday nights. No harm, no foul.   But poor service leaves an indelible impression -- a bitter taste in our mouth. I recently went to an Outback restaurant and had one of the worst dining experiences of my life. The waitress never came around for refills and forgot to bring me ketchup, mustard, and mayonnaise for my burger. My friend complained that this soup was cold and he requested that she heat it up for him, to no avail. Needless to say, we asked to speak to the manager, after which we received wh...

One of the biggest mistakes people can make when dating is disclosing too early how they feel about the other person. Here are a few examples: Saying "I love you" after only a couple of dates Pouring out one's soul about their feelings after a short period of time Giving the person compliments that both people know are undeserved  Whether you feel this strongly about the person or not, it's never wise to tip your hand so early in the game. Why? Well, where's the mystery in that? All those things that lead to a full-fledged relationship -- attraction, feelings, love -- take time to build. Nature has to take its course; things can't be forced or rushed.  When a person professes his love after one or two dates, it reeks of desperation and can lead his date to question his motives.  There's something to be said for leaving the other person guessing, at least in the very beginning. A bit of mystery creates intrigue and leaves the other y...

I know several people who have 9 to 5 jobs but still do things on the side that they get paid for. For example, my friend Vicky bakes cakes for a few extra bucks, and my friend John supplements his income by fixing computers. What I wonder is if they enjoy doing these things so much that they'd do them for free. In my case, my true passion is writing. I manage this blog on the side to augment my salary as a full-time copywriter. I don't earn much from the ads, but it's something. I love writing so much that I would do it for free if I had to. In fact, I have written content for several websites in the past and not gotten a single cent for it. People who are willing to do something for free probably consider it a hobby or passion of theirs. If they can get paid for it, then that's icing on the cake. I'm fortunate in that my favorite pastime, writing, also happens to be my trade. I can understand why people might be unwilling to do the work for free, thoug...

If you had a choice between acquiring more time or more money, which one would you choose? For many of us, each seem in short supply year-round. Still, I would opt for the former. I think the expression "time is money" is dead on. With more time, I could find ways to get more money, whether that means staying later at work or getting a side job. Those who don't have as pressing a need for more cash can use the additional time for hobbies, or spend it with friends and family. Parents, in particular, regard free time as a luxury, especially during the kid's first few years. For those of you on the fence, maybe this tidbit will put things in perspective for you: Time is the only thing in this world (other than our lives once we die, of course) that we can't get back. All that time wasted in bumper-to-bumper traffic or waiting at doctor's offices? That's irretrievable. There's a reason we make such a big stink about getting older and seeing the...

I know I'm going to get some flak for this one from all you pooch lovers, but hear me out. I think dogs can make wonderful pets. They're affectionate, intensely loyal, and can serve in a variety of roles -- whether it's to guard one's house, sniff out drugs, or assist the blind. The reasons why I'm partial to cats, however, are many: I've never had a dog in my life. I have had three cats, though. They're less work -- you don't have to bathe them, take them for walks, or clean after them like you do dogs. I love the fact that cats are so hygienic; give them a litter box and they're good to go. Dogs tend to be more energetic than cats. As someone who is generally calm and enjoys a leisurely pace, cats seem to fit my temperament better.  Dogs make more of a mess around the house. They bring dirt into the house and leave slobbered toys behind.  They're less expensive, not only when it comes to buying the actual pet, but feeding it, giving...

In recent weeks, I've written various posts with one common refrain: You should never change just to please other people. Still, many of us find it hard to contain this impulse. We place such a high premium on others' approval that we go to the ends of the earth to get people's attention, fishing for their compliments whenever and wherever possible. A generous compliment every now and then is nice, but isn't your validation of yourself sufficient? I know people who tailor everything about themselves -- from their hairdo to their car to their home -- to others' specifications. And I'm not just talking friends and family members -- these people cater to even their coworkers. When did going with our own opinion -- the one that really matters -- go out of style? Why give someone else so much power over your decisions? I understand that at times we may take our cue from others who are more knowledgeable in certain areas. For example, maybe your cousin o...

Here are 20 fun facts about Virginia , officially known as the Commonwealth of Virginia : It is nicknamed "Old Dominion" due to its status as the first colonial possession established in mainland British America. It is also nicknamed "Mother of States" because eight U.S. presidents were born there, more than any other state. Among them were four of the first five commanders-in-chief: George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, James Madison, and James Monroe. Six future first ladies were born in Virginia. It is the 35th largest state by area, being divided into 95 counties and 38 independent cities. Virginia has five major airports. The state has five different climate regions: the Tidewater, Piedmont, Northern Virginia, Western Mountain, and Southwestern Mountain regions. Forests cover over 60% of the state. The first people are estimated to have arrived in Virginia over 12,000 years ago. Virginia was named for Elizabeth I, England's "Virgin Queen....

It seems superhero movies are the rage these days. From Batman and Superman to X-Men and The Avengers, one would think that Marvel Studios and DC Entertainment have deliberately hijacked the movie industry. It seems one or more of these CGI-laden flicks come out each year. And who can blame them? Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice, which was released in the U.S. on March 25, has already pulled in a whopping $851.9 million. Not too shabby, considering it was produced on a not-so-shoestring budget of $250 million. I saw the movie a few weeks ago and thought it wasn't as good as any of the movies in The Dark Knight trilogy. But that's neither here nor there. Meanwhile, Captain America: Civil War, slated to hit theaters in the U.S. on May 6, is expected to earn more than $190 million domestically and somewhere in the neighborhood of $200 million worldwide in its opening weekend. I remember how, back in the day, superhero movies primarily targeted children, their key dem...

When I am having a lousy day, all it takes is seeing a cute animal -- or even a picture or video of one -- to turn my frown upside down. And, from what I've gathered, a host of people I know feel similarly. Indeed, certain stimuli, from pets to teddy bears to cartoons, can redirect our thoughts and put us in a better mood. Beyond making you happier, such a strategy can ease tension and relieve stress, thus positively affecting your health. When we've hit a rough patch, it isn’t always easy to disconnect and focus on, say, a picture of a puppy or a memento from your childhood. But undoing negative energy begins with the mind. In order to extricate ourselves from negative feelings, we have to focus on positive things. Maybe all it takes to help you unwind is a screen saver on your computer with tranquil scenes of nature, or a tabletop fountain whose soothing sounds melt your worries away, if temporarily. The mind is awfully powerful. Unless we do things to pivot our negativ...

The Library of Congress celebrates its 216th birthday today. On this day in 1800, President John Adams (1735-1826) approved legislation to appropriate $5,000 to purchase “such books as may be necessary for the use of Congress,” thereby establishing the Library of Congress. The first books, ordered from London, arrived in 1801 and were housed in the U.S. Capitol, the library’s first home. The first library catalog, dated April 1802, listed 964 volumes and nine maps. Twelve years later, the British army invaded the city of Washington and burned the Capitol during the War of 1812, including the then 3,000-volume Library of Congress. Former president Thomas Jefferson (1743-1826), who championed the expansion of the library during his two terms in office, responded by offering to sell his personal library, the largest of its kind in the country, to Congress. The purchase of Jefferson’s volumes -- numbering well over 6,000 -- was approved the following next year.. In 1851, a second major...

The best people to be around aren't necessarily the nicest, prettiest, or most popular. It's those with whom you feel totally comfortable being yourself . This is how the best, most durable relationships are forged. If you find yourself holding back from being yourself or deliberately putting up a facade so that the other person likes you more, that isn't the kind of company you want in your life. Sure, when we're first getting to know someone, we may hold back somewhat or try to act more in line with the other person's expectations; we are, after all, trying to make a good first impression on them. Gradually, though, the walls should come down and you should feel more at ease letting your true beliefs, opinions, and mannerisms come out without fear of being judged. Those whom we call our friends never make us think or act in ways that feel unnatural or conflict with our values and personalities. If you abstain from drinking or smoking yet are constantly b...

When you ask people which qualities they deem critical to success -- whether it's at work or in the realm of relationships -- most fail to mention a crucial trait: drive.  You can be the hardest working person in the world, but without the drive to see through an arduous task or experience, you will not prevail. You won't get very far by doing things in fits and starts. Success can only be attained when one has the drive, or will, to throw themselves into something wholeheartedly and never give up until their goal is achieved. I know I'm capable of great things -- like becoming the CEO of my company or earning a Ph.D. If I don't have the drive to achieve those things, however, all the potential in the world means little. Not only should I be passionate  about achieving the goal, but I must believe that the goal, however challenging, can be achieved . I must envision myself enjoying the sweet smell of success. And that's where being positive and believing in...

I came across the following quote on Facebook earlier today: "Life is like a camera. Just focus on what's important, capture the good times, develop from the negatives, and if things don't work out, just take another shot." A better piece of advice you'd be hard-pressed to find, as far as living a happy life goes. People have a tendency to become deflated by the smallest things, not to mention by people who, frankly, shouldn't be given so much importance -- neighbors, coworkers, acquaintances, and the like. We focus too much on that which is insignificant. As I've stressed so many times before, people's opinions of you matter to a certain degree, but they shouldn't eclipse how you judge yourself . If what they say or think about you trumps your self-evaluations, then you are just handing over all your power to them in a silver platter. Also, don't get so bogged down over your mistakes . We all make them -- it's a simple part of l...

There are certainly many perks to using our smart phones. How convenient is it to be able to check the weather, our email, or our home (remotely via our home security app) through these small yet highly sophisticated devices while on the go? However, cell phone use has infiltrated our lives in a way most of the phone manufacturers probably never imagined. We take the phones with us to the bathroom, use them while eating dinner and conversing with people and -- worst of all -- while driving. Cell phones have made our lives easier in myriad ways while making society far more impersonal. These days, wishing people a Happy Birthday via Facebook has supplanted the more traditional methods of calling by phone or sending someone a card in the mail. But when phones become so intrusive as to disrupt family time, that's when you know we've taken our usage of them to a whole new level. My wife often uses her while we're watching movies in the living room, resulting in my admon...

According to spontaneous trait transference , people will associate the adjectives you use to describe other people with your personality. In other words, the traits you attribute to others are attributed right back to you. Interestingly, one study found that this effect took place even when people knew certain traits didn't describe the people who had talked about them. It seems that whatever you say about other people influences how people see you. If you describe someone else as trustworthy and kind, people will also associate you with those qualities. The reverse is also true: If you are constantly bashing people behind their backs, people will begin to link such qualities to you. I suppose what's also at play here is that people might think -- whether consciously or subconcsciously -- that the person is projecting his or her own qualities onto others, especially if they describe the individual this way repeatedly. So there you have it. Complimenting other...

It annoys me to no end when a person has money and yet he still chooses to be stingy. You know, the kind of person who never gets you a gift on your birthday, or always opts for the cheapest restaurants in town. One thing is to not spend because you really are strapped for cash, or you're trying to save up for a big life event -- like a wedding or the purchase of a car. Another is to be thrifty just because you'd rather have a root canal done on you than shell out a buck. The worst offenders are those who have a lot of money but never donate a cent to charity. I think people have every right to spend their money as they wish, but there's something to be said for those who use it for good causes. What's the harm in getting a friend a small birthday gift? Or donating $2 to St. Jude? People who refuse to spend even this much get under my skin. I could never date a woman or have as a friend someone who seems to care more about their money than their loved on...

I hear so many people complain of boredom on a daily basis. This leaves me quite flummoxed considering the wealth of things to do nowadays. I find nothing to be as big a boredom buster as learning. There's a widely-held if erroneous view that learning stops the moment you receive your college diploma. This couldn't be further from the truth. Even though I'm no longer in college, I continue to indulge my passions for history and psychology by reading on my own. I get such bad traffic on the way to work and back that I'm usually able to get a great deal of reading done on my commute. (I only read while at a red light or in bumper-to-bumper traffic, of course.) I also read during my lunch break and before going to bed. To me, learning is not only intellectually enriching, but it gives me something to look forward to and build upon each day. I love coming across a word I didn't know the meaning of and looking up the definition. I have fun learning new historic...

Unless you work for a charity, hospital, or other organization that has a "feel good" quality to it and allows you to make a difference in some concrete way, work can feel hollow for so many of us. I'm thankful for my job and know the reason why I give 40+ hours of my time each week to my company is to support my wife and myself. I actually like what I do (writing, editing, proofreading), but sometimes I'm left with a nagging feeling of emptiness. When I think beyond my day-to-day tasks and look at the bigger picture, I realize my job is mainly to help make the company money so that the big wigs can line their pockets. It's the bottom line -- literally. Thankfully, this blog serves as a conduit through which I can not only exercise my creativity and share ideas, but make decisions on my own without having to navigate politics. In corporate, deferring to others -- sometimes to people who are less skilled and knowledgeable than you -- is par for the course. ...

The more you seek validation from other people for your actions, the less happier in life you'll be. Lao Tzu said it best: "Care about what other people think and you will always be their prisoner." Abraham Manslow, for his part, said, "Be independent of the good opinion of other people." Another similarly powerful quote comes from Vernon Howard: "“A truly strong person does not need the approval of others any more than a lion needs the approval of sheep.” I think that there are some genuinely good people out in the world, and human beings do need to cultivate social relationships in order be well-adjusted members of society. But there are just as many selfish, inconsiderate ones willing to tear you down just to feel better about themselves. A person's opinion should never matter as much as our own. Eleanor Roosevelt was once quoted as saying that no one can make you feel inferior without your consent. Some people need others' approval in or...

Many of us go to great pains to be better than others. We strive to have better cars than our neighbors, better clothes than our coworkers, more money than our friends. In the grand scheme of life, none of this makes us happier in the long term. What we should do is redirect our focus toward growing, toward improving ourselves. In essence, it's about being better this year than who we were last year -- being considerably better today than, say, the 2012 version of you. Everyone has his or her own definition of what makes a better person, or what constitutes personal growth. Here are a few examples: Losing weight and being healthier Getting a promotion and making more money Getting into a relationship  Being married Starting a family Traveling more Making new friends At the end of the day, how much our friends make and which cars our neighbors drive should be the least of our concerns. Concentrate on bettering and being competitive with yourself. Up the ante each Ja...

Many of us have a tendency to see people through rose-colored glasses rather than judging them for who they really are. In other words, we're idealistic rather than realistic . We know what people are capable of -- they've done us wrong before -- yet still we decide to give them the benefit of the doubt. We really exclusively on what our heart tells us, to the exclusion of any alarms your mind may be sounding. Unfortunately, this is how people end up in disastrous relationships. When dealing with people, it's imperative that we not solely rely on our emotions. The brain should also play a role. We can compare this to something in politics of all things: the system of checks and balances, where each of the three branches of government can limit the powers of the others. This way, no one branch becomes too powerful. Each branch “checks” the power of the other branches to make sure that the power is balanced between them. It's precisely because of this system that the ...

Who else finds it hard to believe that we're in the middle of April already? It feels like just yesterday we were celebrating the holidays and ringing in the New Year. Summer will be here before we know it. I've noticed that once September ends, the final quarter of the year goes by at blazing speed, probably because of all the holidays that fall in those months. Remember how different things were when we were kids? Summer vacation couldn't come soon enough. The school year felt neverending. We would do anything back then to make time go a little faster. As adults, though, time feels scarce, and we only wish we had a way to stop or slow down the clock. The days seemingly blur into one another, and the months go by in the blink of an eye. I've said it before, and I'll say it again: Time is without a doubt the most precious commodity we have. Unlike money, it's the one thing that we can't get back. Thus, it's no wonder why human beings strive to ...

Wouldn't it be cool to go back in time and see what it was like to live in an era well before your own? It conjures up images of Marty McFly getting in the Delorean and blasting his way to 1955 in Back to the Future. (It's a classic movie, in case you've never seen it!) Perhaps you'd be interested in visiting the 70s, which was defined by the civil rights movement, the war in Vietnam, women's liberation movement, gay rights movement, and, of course, disco. Or maybe you'd want to immerse yourself in the Roaring 20s, which saw the rise of the automobile, radio, and home refrigeration, catapulting America into the modern age. For the first time, more Americans lived in cities than on farms. The decade was also noteworthy for Prohibition, the soaring popularity of jazz music, and the 19th amendment, which at last granted women the right to vote. If I were to have my pick, it'd undoubtedly be the colonial era. How awesome would it be to live through the A...

Many of my coworkers have been working at my company -- and in the same department, no less -- for 20 or more years!  It's doubtless a rarity in this day and age of frequent job hopping.  Most of them lament staying there so long. Promotions have been hard to come by, not to mention they feel utterly stagnant in their jobs. Some tell me they can't remember the last time they actually learned something new. It certainly doesn't help that our department is run by two overbearing women -- my boss is one of them -- who are completely stuck in their ways.  Now in their 50s and 60s, they concede that it's too late to think about moving. They're more focused on retirement now than anything else. Competing for jobs with people as old as their kids, they say, is a losing proposition.  When asked why they stayed there so long, they admit that they became complacent over the years. I can attest to the fact that the company provides employees with a handsome salary...

Let's face it: Having good looks means nothing if you're a bad person. Beauty is only skin deep. Those who are smug and think they can treat others with disrespect only because they're physically attractive are demonstrating one thing: they're ugly on the inside, and that makes them ugly as a whole. I don't care whether you have a gorgeous face or an amazing body. A rotten personality undermines one's best physical attributes. I'd take a "4" with a big heart over a "10" who's as deep as a puddle any day of the week. I can't stand people who are conceited -- the ones who walk around thinking they're owed something on account of their good looks. They act as if they're God's gift to the world and often belittle those who aren't as physically eye-catching. It's these people who eventually wind up alone. Looks fade. People get wrinkles and gain weight. Old age catches up with us sooner or later. On the ot...

I know several people who are currently in a long distance relationship, including my co-worker Betty. While she admits that it has its challenges, she and her boyfriend are finding ways to make it work. The toughest part of a long distance relationship is the lack of physical closeness. Everyone wants to cuddle with their significant other while watching a movie, for example. It's nice to have someone to accompany you to dinners and social functions. Not being able to grab the person's hand and exchange hugs and kisses with them -- especially during life's most trying moments -- can be depressing. Thankfully, it's easier than ever these days to keep in touch. While phone, Facebook, texting, email, and FaceTime are no substitute for being with someone in person, they let both people stay connected until they can plan their next meeting. In order for a long distance relationship to work, both people need to put in their fair share -- no ifs or buts about it. That...

Just last Friday, my boss and I sat down for my annual review. She had great things to say, including the fact that she has seen me "grow immensely" in the last year or two. Mind you, I've been with the company for close to five years. It isn't as if she went by hard data or any accomplishment lists to arrive at such a conclusion, for I provided none. I don't work any harder than I did a couple of years ago. So why is she so certain that I've demonstrated growth on the job? I think perception  -- the state of becoming aware of something through the senses -- is at play here. What is perceived as real can be more powerful than reality itself . The lenses through which we each see the world are dissimilar. I may perceive you to be a shy, rude, or arrogant person, but perhaps your neighbor views you as warm and happy-go-lucky. You may be phoning it at your job or in your relationship, but as long as your boss or partner "thinks" you're put...

On this day in 1803, French Foreign Minister Charles Maurice de Talleyrand makes an unprecedented offer to sell the entire Louisiana Territory to the United States. As the foreign minister to French Emperor Napoleon Bonaparte, Talleyrand was one of the most powerful men in the world. Three years earlier, Talleyrand had persuaded Napoleon that he could form a new French Empire in North America. The French had laid claim to the expansive swath of land west of the Mississippi River known as Louisiana Territory. In 1800, Napoleon furtively signed a treaty with Spain that officially gave France complete control of the territory. He then began to ready France’s army to occupy New Orleans. When President Thomas Jefferson learned of Napoleon’s plans in 1802, he was rightly concerned. Jefferson had long hoped the U.S. would expand westward beyond the Mississippi, but the fledgling American republic lacked the military might to challenge France for the territory. Jefferson hoped that his m...

There are many givens in life, not the least of which is the fact that people will disappoint you . It can happen when least expected, and the ones who let you down are often the last people you'd expect to do so -- like friends, family, and close co-workers. This is no reason, however, to sulk, walk with your head down. and give in to cynicism. Life is isn't so much about what happens to you, but how you react to what happens to you. Experience teaches us how to cope with disappointment so that the next time we find ourselves in a similar situation -- whether we're dealing with the same person or someone else -- we won't be so quick to make the same mistakes. No one likes to get hurt, but it's just a part of life. People are mostly out to benefit themselves -- to say otherwise is to be untruthful. There's a reason why most of us have only a few select friends. I, myself, have just three really close ones, all of whom were groomsmen at my wedding. Bu...

Late musician Kurt Cobain (1967-1994) was once quoted as saying: "You laugh at me because I'm different. I laugh at you because you're all the same." I think the quote perfectly captures a persistent problem in our society: That people are ostracized when they're noticeably different in some way from the mainstream. This runs the gamut from virgins to non-drinkers, introverts to nerds, tree huggers to the extremely religious, childfree to vegan. Herd mentality describes how people are influenced by their peers to take on certain behaviors, follow trends, and/or purchase products. Whether you're contemplating which car to buy, whom to make your next doctor, or what constitutes trendy nowadays, you'll probably take your cue from someone else. It could be a friend, family member, or coworker. The thought of someone who's a little different is unsettling for many people. That, in turns, drives us to do all we can to conform to societal expec...

Earlier today, I submitted a post, Why love at first sight is a myth , which argues that establishing a deep, long-lasting connection with someone goes beyond the purely physical. So let's assume that a woman -- we'll call her Martha -- is physically attracted to a man named Joe and clicks with him on a more personal level, leading her to think she's in love with him. Now, let's make the scenario even more intriguing by adding another potential suitor to the mix named Matt, and we'll presume Martha is sure her feelings for Matt are no less intense than those she has for Joe. Is it possible for Martha to be in love with Joe and Matt at the same time? These are the kinds of story lines that great plays and soap operas are made of, but the question is whether it's even feasible in real life. Here's my view: I think Martha can love Joe and Matt at the same time, but to varying degrees. And who's to say that she loves exactly the same things abo...

Book smart. Street smart. Business smart. Handy smart. No matter what type of intelligence we're talking about, it's downright sexy. And the sexiness is amplified tenfold when the person exudes self-confidence doing or discussing what he or she is good at, whether it's fixing cars, negotiating sales deals, or talking politics.  Let's be honest. No one -- at least not anyone I know -- would be attracted to someone as dumb as a rock. Most of us desire a partner who is articulate and able to defend his or her viewpoints -- at least on some matter or subject about which the person is passionate.  It's impossible for us to be experts at everything. A math whiz probably won't be the best writer. A masterful cook might not be able to draw or paint to save his life. A skilled athlete might struggle to hammer a nail into the wall. But no one said sexiness meant being a jack of all trades. Actually, it's far sexier to be adept in one specific area th...

As I've pointed out in other posts, being alone and being lonely are two completely different things. When people wish to be alone, they usually do so deliberately, whereas being lonely tends to be an undesirable consequence of a particular event, like breaking up with your boyfriend, moving to a new city, etc. People can desire to be alone for a host of reasons: To clear their heads To gather their thoughts To recharge after a long day at work To read or pursue other solitary tasks in a quiet environment They're not in the mood to be around people, especially after someone has done something to disappoint them And many more... Unfortunately, sometimes society makes people who crave alone time out to be weirdos. They're constantly given labels like "antisocial" and "stuck-up." Oftentimes, these descriptors have no basis in reality. Many people -- especially the highly extroverted, who thrive on social interaction -- fail to understand tha...

I don't know about you, but there's nothing more unpleasant than walking into a mall so overcrowded that you: Constantly bump into people Can't find anywhere to sit Are forced to stand in long lines And if the mall is that crowded, it usually means finding parking will be a huge headache, so the frustration begins even before one sets foot in the mall.  Granted, I live in South Florida, an area notorious for being heavily congested. Even if a crowded mall is the exception rather than the rule where you live, you've probably found yourself in a badly crowded venue at some point, whether a concert, nightclub, or theme park.  Making matters worse is having the urge to use the restroom and not being able to because it's out of service or there's a gaggle of people waiting to use it. Or, how about being so hungry you could eat a horse, but finding that the lines at the food court virtually snake around the building? Nothing spoils a good shopping...

I think you can also use the word "selfish" to describe such behavior. We've all had at least one friend who ditches us when they jump into a relationship and come running back once that relationship has ended. One of my closest friends -- my wife and I have known him since high school -- falls into this category. I noted on the blog last year that he pulled a major disappearing act in the 8-month stretch he was with his then-girlfriend. One day, out of nowhere, I start receiving calls and invitations from him to hang out again. It's as if he had morphed from Mr. Indifferent to the clingiest person you'll ever meet. It took him awhile to come out and say that the relationship was officially done, but the fact he'd suddenly become so available again gave it away. He never gave specifics on why the relationship failed -- only saying that he broke up with her because he didn't want to hurt her. (We'll never really know who actually did the break...