How To Understand People

Be careful whom you push away, as some of those people will never come back. At some point, we've all felt taken for granted, whether it's by a friend who just entered into a new relationship, a spouse who's too swamped to tend to you and the kids, a relative who seems to care more about fantasy football than having a deep conversation, or a boss who fails to recognize your valuable contribitions to the company. Or, maybe you've been the one to take advantage of someone else, only to regret it later. Unfortunately, many people have this false sense of confidence that even if they make others feel neglected or unappreciated, they'll always stick by. What they fail to realize is that everyone has a breaking point. Once someone has had enough, they will most certainly bolt. Sure, if luck is on their side, and if they can convincingly make the case that they'll change, the other person might just give them a second chance. But this is not a given, as many ...

It's hard to believe today is the day after Thanksgiving! I hope you and your family had a wonderful holiday replete with delicious food, big smiles, and countless laughs. Now that Turkey Day is behind us, it can only mean a couple of things. For one, we can expect a myriad of families to put up their holiday decorations today. Secondly, there's no denying that, arguably until after New Year's, retailers from Macy's to Victoria's Secret will be barraging us with holiday ads, whether on TV, in the newspaper, or online. It's really a shame that the holidays have become so highly commercialized. My coworkers and I were fretting the other day over the fact that many stores now sell Thanksgiving and Christmas stuff alongside their Halloween items. That means you can stock up on Christmas decorations as early as October. While doing so may save one money in the long run, coupling all three occasions does little to build anticipation for the latter holidays...

Apologies don't mean anything if you continue to do what you claim to be sorry for . Saying "sorry" rings hollow if you persist in your unsavory behavior -- whether it's cheating on your spouse, furtively stealing money from your employer, or drug/alcohol abuse. I firmly believe that some people apologize as a quick way out; in reality, they have no intention of following through. Deep down, they're really not sorry. And your support can only go so far when the person can't help but fall off the wagon time and time again. Eventually, you reach a point where nothing short of counseling is in order. I only wish the word "sorry" weren't used so loosely. It's kind of like those who go around telling people they love them after dating them just a few weeks. Say what you mean and mean what you say. As I've stressed in earlier posts, words mean nothing unless you back them up with concrete actions. For example, if you say you'...

Buddha once said, "What you think, you become. What you feel, you attract. What you imagine, you create." If there's one thing we can unequivocally infer from Buddha's words, it's that the mind wields a very powerful influence on our daily lives. Thinking positively can make a world of a difference between a good day and a terrible one. Merely telling yourself in the morning that today will be a good day becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Living in the moment and thinking about all you have can lift your spirits in a big way, unlike the tendency to ruminate on the negative -- what you lack, what could be better, etc. If you aspire to become, say, the CEO of your company, the very first step is believing you can get there. If you don't believe in yourself, you'll lose motivation almost as quickly as you've mustered it. And positive vibes are infectious; they draw people to you like flies. It's no surprise that when you're in a gre...

They say the only constant in life is change, and people are certainly no exception to that maxim. Partners, friends, relatives, coworkers, acquaintances -- they evolve, for better or worse. Wishing things could revert to how they used to be in any given relationship sets one up for major disappointment. The fact of the matter is that you may have a friend who's very different today from how she was in, say, 2012. Shifting priorities, new experiences, and changing views each play a role in our evolution as people. Unfortunately, such changes can be detrimental to a relationship. Your friend gets married or starts a family and forgets you exist. Your boyfriend has to relocate for his job and now you hardly hear from his anymore. Your closest cousin is hanging out with a different crowd and no longer seems like the person you grew up with. It's understandable that such life events would make people less available. Gone are the days when you could arrange outings on ...

In this post, I touch on the election (or reelection) of U.S. presidents who guided the country through two bloody, destructive global wars. November 5, 1912: Woodrow Wilson beats two ex presidents in a landslide victory Democrat Woodrow Wilson is elected the 28th president of the United States, with Thomas R. Marshall as vice president. In a landslide Democratic victory, Wilson secured 435 electoral votes against the eight won by Republican incumbent William Howard Taft and the 88 snagged by Progressive Party candidate Theodore Roosevelt. It remains the only election in American history where two former presidents were defeated by another candidate. During his two terms in office, Wilson oversaw U.S. entry into World War I; proposed the Fourteen Points, a statement of principles that was to be used for peace negotiations in order to end the global war; and championed the League of Nations, an international organization formed to prevent future armed conflict. Because of opposi...

Want to know who's most responsible for your happiness? That's easy. Look in the mirror . It isn't your partner, children, siblings, or friends. Happiness emanates from inside, which means only you complete yourself. Eleanor Roosevelt once said that no one can make you feel inferior without your consent -- one of my favorite quotes, I might add. Oprah Winfrey quipped that you cannot wait for someone to save you, to help you, to complete you. No one can complete you but yourself. And, as Mandy Hale puts it, happiness is an inside job, and you should never assign anyone else that much power over your life. Instead, you should wield that power to make a better life for yourself. Do whatever makes you happy -- whether it's exploring new continents or simply laying by the pool at home. Happiness starts with you -- not with your job, relationships, or money. If that weren't the case, there wouldn't be people in the world who have found a way to enjoy ...

Many of us get into relationships and fall into one common trap: losing one's self-identity. Both individuals spend so much time together that they neglect their personal needs and interests -- the ones independent of the relationship. This can only lead to trouble on several fronts. For one, when two people are attached at the hip, especially early on in the relationship, they may eventually settle into routines and grow bored of each other. Both people should continue to cultivate the hobbies they enjoyed before they hooked up. Similarly, they should continue working on goals -- career-related or otherwise -- that they set out to achieve when they were single. Not only does this ensure continual progress in their personal or professional lives, but it means they have something they can share with one another that goes beyond themselves. This, in turn, keeps the relationship fresh. Giving each other space is doubly beneficial: it affords you the opportunity to miss e...