How To Understand People

In the absence of information about you, people resort to passing judgment. To fill in the gaps, they make unfounded assumptions about your personality and character. Here are a couple of examples: Because you're quiet, you must be weird, antisocial, or stuck-up. Because you don't want to have kids, you must be selfish.  Because you don't drink, you must be boring, religious, or uber conservative.  Because you don't eat meat, you must be vegan. Because you relish simplicity and have no interest in flashy gadgets, jewelry, or cars, you must not have a lot of money. Anything that goes against the grain of society tends to be judged harshly. People frown upon those who do or say things that run counter to the so-called herd mentality.  The fact is that you have no obligation whatsoever to justify your views, beliefs, or attitudes to anyone. While they have a right to think as they wish about you, you're entitled to live life as you wish without ...

Now, you might be asking what on earth I mean by "hopper." Fair question. To put it into proper context, I'm talking about someone who jumps from one thing to another without hesistation, i.e., a job hopper or relationship hopper. Unfortunately, the people I know who are prone to this sort of thing find themselves rather discontented. Their problem is that they fall victim to grass is greener syndrome. They struggle with commitment, convincing themselves that: If or when their relationship becomes less exciting/more routine, the easiest way to recapture the excitement of a new relationship is to jump into a new one.  If or when their job becomes too easy/routine, there's bound to be a better, more challenging one out there, leading them to jump ship at the first opportunity that presents itself. In other words, they view jobs and relationships much like trying out a new sweater. If they're unhappy following a "trial" period, they return...

Remember when Netflix was a little-known company trying to chip away at now-dedunct Blockbuster Video by streaming content on the Web? Those days are no more. Shares of Netflix surged 10% today after it reported a tremendous gain in subscribers in the fourth quarter of last year -- a whopping 8 million -- and a strong outlook for the first quarter of this year. As a result, its market value soared to $110 billion. It joins 58 other companies in the the S&P 500 worth at least $100 billion. The company is now worth more than several big Hollywood companies, many of which still supply Netflix with content. Though Netflix is nowhere near media giants like Disney (worth $166 billion), Comcast (just shy of $200 billion), and AT&T (nearly $230 billion), there's no question the company has grown immensely since its humble beginnings in the late 1990s. What's more, Wall Street is predicting even larger gains ahead. The highest price target for Netflix is now $303 a s...

Looking to achieve a goal? Inhale confidence. Exhale doubt.  Even if no one else believes in you (which is highly unlikely), you are your single biggest ally. If you don't believe in yourself, you won't realize your dreams -- plain and simple. Achieving goals take hard work, determination, and dogged persistence. If you want something badly enough and are willing to go the extra mile to get it, you've already won half the battle. You might cry, face sleepless nights, argue with friends and loved ones, and even have occasional bouts of depression, pushing you to the brink of quitting. But don't give up!  Things will get better. Hang in there. When everything seems doomed to fail, stop for a moment. Take a deep breath. Ask yourself whether retooling your strategy -- making a few tweaks here and there -- might get you back on the right path. If achieving a goal were easy, we'd have countless superstar athletes, actors, rock stars, and rocket scientis...

Studies show that our criteria for measuring success is markedly different now than it was several years ago. In the past, we typically perceived someone as successful if they boasted possessions that signaled wealth (e.g., car, big house, fancy watch) and appeared to have loads of free time on their hands. We assumed it meant that their net worth was such that they had no real need to work hard. In our minds, they likely spent more time sunbathing in the Caribbean than churning out reports in the office. However, the benchmarks we use to measure success have evolved over time -- not so much when it comes to material possessions, but in terms of overall lifestyle and work ethic. Studies suggest that we are now more likely to perceive someone as being successful if they have little to no time available for leisurely pursuits due to the many responsibilities they shoulder. For example, let's say Joe works 60 hours a week, has kids, and volunteers at a local non-profit. He h...

Want to know the secret to keeping your life exciting? It's not much of a secret at all when you think about it. It's just that people are unwilling to invest the effort required. The secret to keeping your life lies in avoiding or breaking something that begins with an "r" and ends in an "e." Can you guess what that word is? If you said "routine," you're absolutely right. Nothing sucks the fun out of life quite like routine does. Granted, there are some routines we can't do away with -- reporting for work at 9 a.m. sharp, taking Suzy to ballet class every Saturday afternoon, vising the dentist every couple of months -- but there's no reason for your life to be scripted entirely. Feeling as though you're running on autopilot all the time is the surest way to feeling bored. Whatever routines we have should be interspersed with new experiences. Visit a new state or country. Take up a new hobby. Try out a restaurant you'v...

On this day in 1789, America’s first presidential election was held. The first Election Day looked almost nothing like today's elections. In fact, political parties hadn't yet come into existence, and it was a time when campaigning was actually discouraged. Only white men who owned property were permitted to vote. That means a mere 1.3 percent of the total population voted in this election -- far lower than the approximately 40 percent of the total population who vote in modern presidential elections. With 69 electoral votes, George Washington became the first and only person to unanimously win the presidency. John Adams, who served as the first U.S. ambassador to Great Britain, became the first vice president with 34 electoral votes. Voters from ten states -- Virgnia, South Carolina, Pennsylvania, Connecticut, Delaware, Georgia, Maryland, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, and New Jersey -- were able to cast electoral votes in this election. New York was unable to field a s...

Today's quote of the day comes from none other than Alexander Hamilton (1757-1804): "People sometimes attribute my success to my genius; all the genius I know anything about is hard work."  You may have heard of Hamilton , the smash Broadway musical his rags to riches story inspired. Or, you might know him as the guy on the $10 bill. Hamilton gave new meaning to the word "workhorse." As the first U.S. secretary of the treasury, he was essentially the architect of the American financial system. He wrote 51 of the 85 essays that comprise  The Federalist Papers . He pushed for the establishment of the first national bank. He wrote some 28 essays which were instrumental in securing the ratification of the Jay Treaty with Great Britain. He established the U.S. Coast Card and founded The New York Post, the oldest continuously published daily newspaper in the U.S. And, to boot, he married into one of the wealthiest families in New York City, even though he neve...

The only person who can fill that empty feeling you have is none other than you . Don't look to your friends or family, for their company works only as a temporary band-aid. Friends come and go. While many of them may genuinely care and worry about you, they'll only go so far to help you out. They have their own problems to tend to. You're the only one you can count on 24 hours a day, seven days a week, to keep your spirits up. Your friends and family can't be there for you each and every time you feel a little blue. Many of us have been led astray into thinking that others make our life complete, but this couldn't be farther from the truth. You complete your life all on your own; others merely enhance it. If you're feeling empty or depressed, take a deep breath and look inward -- not outward for solace. The key to your happiness lies within you. Perhaps you worry too much about others and not enough about yourself. Maybe taking up a new hobby -- w...

If one of your New Year's Resolutions is to ease the pain of loneliness, I have news for you: Being in the wrong company can be far worse, as such feelings are only magnified.  Ask yourself this: Do you really think you'd feel lonelier by yourself, or in a group of people you hardly know and may have little in common with? As shocking as it may be to some, it's perfectly normal to enjoy your own company. You don't need other people to enjoy such hobbies as reading, writing, listening to music, and exercising. Besides, sometimes you need alone time to contemplate and catch a breath of fresh air after a tough day. In essence, being alone and being lonely aren't one and the same. The former can actually be a plus -- something one seeks for their general well-being. The latter, on the other hand, is a negative condition one generally tries to extricate themselves from. Having others around can be a boon if you know and trust them. In the absence of such rap...