How To Understand People

I want to wish everyone a very safe and Happy New Year filled with love, laughter, health, happiness, and everything else you could possibly want! 2017 was a milestone year for this blog. It garnered more views, comments, and likes than in any of the prior years since it was launched. And it's all thanks to loyal readers like you! Without you guys, this blog would have become obsolete long ago. All the time and hard work I put into it is well worth it because I have the most engaged, intelligent, and -- put simply -- amazing audience I could ever ask for. Whether you'll be awaiting the New Year at home with family, at a fancy restaurant with your significant other, or at a concert with friends, I hope you enjoy the final hours of 2017 to the max. I encourage you to reflect on the moments -- good and bad -- that defined the year for you, as they will help you chart a course for 2018. You'll not only want to replicate those good times in the new year, but build on...

Is your neighbor jealous of that new car you worked so hard to buy? Let them. Is your perpetually single coworker envious of your 20-year marriage? Let them. Does your friend begrudge you the passion you have toward your hobbies and life itself? So be it. Let's face it: Not only is it impossible to please everyone, but there will always be someone who will try to put us down for the simple fact that they lack something we have. Don't pay any attention to them. Rather than satisfying your urge to confront or lash out on this individual, you could try to share your positive vibes. See if your zest for life rubs off on them. That way, they are more likely to focus on what they already have rather than yearn for what they're missing. Or, they can set and work toward goals rather than harp on what others possess, which is really none of their business. Now, if you go around boasting of your possessions in person or on Facebook, you may very well be engendering such...

Many people seem rather confused as to the definition of a relationship. No, it isn't when two soulmates come together. It isn't about having another person "complete" your life. Such definitions are far too simplistic, ignoring the hard truth that -- as with everything else -- relationships take work and have their downsides. A true relationship is one between two imperfect people who refuse to give up on one another.  I would go so far as to say that you can't call it a relationship until both people have been through ups and downs together. In reality, you don't know a person as well as you think you might until you've seen them in a trying situation. At the first sign of trouble, some people bail cravenly -- without warning. And relationships aren't all about hugs, kisses, and butterflies. That may be so in the very beginning, during the so-called honeymoon stage, but eventually the relationship matures and both people have to face the mu...

I'd like to wish all my readers a very Merry Christmas! Whether you're in Connecticut, Calgary, or Calcutta, I hope you are having a wonderful day with friends and family. And if you don't celebrate Christmas, here's to a joyous holiday season.  While the fact Christmas comes only once each year makes it a special time -- especially for kids -- there's no question many parents are breathing a sigh of relief as the day draws to a close.  After all, between shopping for gifts at jam-packed malls, hosting holiday parties, and finalizing loose ends at work before the end of the year, it can be an awfully stressful and frenzied time even for those who consider themselves pros at this sort of thing.  It's important not to lose sight of the true meaning of Christmas. It isn't about toys or shopping sprees, but spending time with family and being thankful for what you have. I see it as a continuation or extension of Thanksgiving, even though we ought to...

Wouldn't you agree that it's better to be hurt with the truth than comforted with a lie ? It's no surprise people say that our closest friends give it to us straight -- they're the ones who don't sugarcoat anything, even if we may take it the wrong way at first. However, some people mistakenly assume that they're doing us a favor by not being completely open. They reason that it's worth it if it'll spare you those hurt feelings. What they don't consider, however, is how painful it can be to discover later on that the person wasn't being entirely honest. While it may seem like the person is acting in the other's best interest, they're really only thinking of themselves. Perhaps they fear that if the truth comes out, the relationship might change, or even be in jeopardy. But doesn't the person deserve the truth? Imagine how many marriages or relationships have come to an end as a result of one partner asserting with convictio...

Once you stop chasing after the wrong things or people, you give the right things or people a chance to catch you . Unfortunately, it isn't always easy to tell when certain things or people -- say, a stressful job or inconsiderate partner -- aren't right for us. Then again, some of us find ourselves in such a situation time and time again. Take the girl who can't help but fall for the bad boy, or a former alcoholic who repeatedly falls off the wagon. If you persistently engage in these damaging behaviors, how do you expect to progress in life? You'll continue to miss out on job opportunities, potential suitors, and hobbies/interests that can greatly enrich your life. Some people are simply in denial. They recognize something or someone as adverse and yet they still have a hard time extricating themselves from it. For example, they hang on to the idea that their insolent boyfriend will change for the better. Or, they justify smoking or drinking with the argumen...

In an ideal world, we'd all be paid handsomely to work in a company we love doing work about which we're fervently passionate, all while being surrounded by wonderful people. If this sounds like your situation, congratulations -- you're the envy of many a disgruntled working bee in Corporate America. Most of us, however, take issue with some aspect about our jobs. Though many of these aren't easy to pinpoint until you've been on the job for at least a month or two, think twice about remaining in or going to a company where: 1. There's no room to grow. Are you the ambitious type? If all that stands in the way of getting that coveted VP spot is, well, ten other people, you're better off looking elsewhere. Even if you're just waiting for your boss to retire, you may be left waiting for a while. 2. You have no voice. If your boss and other higher-ups discourage creative freedom, you might grow to resent the job very quickly. Companies that are so r...

You're probably thinking, "This guy has lost his mind. Why in the world would getting mad at people be pointless?" Fair question. Of course, there are situations where being mad at people is justified: The guy who stole your car, the customer service rep who accidentally billed you $500 more than she should have, the employer who failed to let you know they'd decided to go with a different candidate for the position you'd set your sights on.  But let's face it: sometimes we get mad at friends or relatives over the most trivial matters. We let our emotions get the best of us, an argument ensues, and one or both of us is left reeling. You may not talk to each other for a while, if ever again.  What many people fail to realize is that people are powerless unless we react react to their behavior.  By showing you're mad, you're essentially conveying that you care -- at least enough to get your emotions involved. Eleanor Roosevelt once said...

If there's one thing that's certain about your life, it's that it isn't perfect . Don't fret. Neither is mine. Neither is anyone else's. And that's precisely the beauty of it all. Not having everything we want makes us appreciate what we have even more . Think about it: If we had everything we could possibly desire, wouldn't that make life, well, a tad boring? There's no such thing as the perfect job . There will always be something or someone at work that isn't to our liking. If our jobs were perfect, they'd be called a hobby. But in order to keep food on the table and a roof over our head, we have to make some concessions. There's no such thing as the perfect partner.   Just as we say "batteries included" for many of the items we buy, you can rest assured that your partner comes with "flaws included." There's no such thing as a perfect human being. We have no choice but to take the good with the bad if ...

As George Washington, the first president of the United States, once said, " It is better to be alone than in bad company ." He of all people would know. He was constantly surrounded by them, from his days as general of the Continental Army during the American Revolution to his tenure as the nation's first commander in chief. Washington was touted as being a great judge of character. You can only imagine the tough personalities he had to deal with in public life. Though he was unanimously elected to two terms as president of the fledgling nation, he had no shortage of critics who were quick to pounce on policies  -- like the infamous Jay Treaty -- that they vehemently objected to. Washington had days where he probably felt the urge to tell his detractors to go fly a kite. Indeed, as the quote above suggests, he preferred his own company to that of certain people. For whatever reason, many people have been led to believe that enjoying their own company -- being a...

You see it at work, at the mall, and on Facebook. People seem to have this unbridled compulsion to impress their peers, whether it's through their looks or material possessions. Why should we care for others' validation so strongly? What ever happened to being comfortable in your own skin and not letting others dictate how you look and what you buy? In reality, the only one we should be aiming to impress is ourselves. Instead of comparing ourselves to our coworkers and neighbors, we should compare ourselves to the person we were 6 months or a year ago. That's how you assess whether you've made progress. That's the yardstick against which you should measure whether you've succeeded at whatever it is you've set out to achieve. You are your best judge and critic, so why entrust someone else who's never been in your shoes with that power? There's no harm in fishing for compliments at work or angling for a few likes on Facebook every so ofte...

If you're like many jaded people out there in the dating world, you've just about had it in your quest to find true love. You've lost track of the seemingly innumerable men or women you've gone on fruitless dates with. A prospect seems promising enough in the beginning, but it all comes crashing down following an unsettling discovery -- she's been cheating on you all along, he isn't the thoughtful romantic that drew you in during the courtship and instead just wants to get in your pants, she's an unapologetic gold digger. You've grown tired of it all: the lies, the false appearances, the heartache, endless disappointment. As tempting as it may be to throw in the towel, you'll never find that special someone -- however elusive -- if you give up. Instead, take some time to assess your love life and answer the following questions: What do you feel you've done right?  What do you think you've done wrong?  In which areas is there room...

Albert Einstein once said, " Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow ." The vaunted theoretical physicist was not only succinct, but spot on. By learning from yesterday -- and what's implied is really learning from our mistakes -- we can create a better, more fruitful today. But we must guard against the impulse to dwell on those things we did wrong. Instead, we should see the start of a new day as akin to turning the page -- the chance to start anew. Yesterday is no more. Focus on what you can do TODAY so that it turns out to be an even better day than yesterday was. While no one likes to admit they've made a mistake, we're only human. As long as we recognize what we did wrong and aim to right the ship so that history doesn't repeat itself, we come out stronger and wiser in the end. Moreover, life is a precious gift -- one that can be taken away at any moment. We really don't know when it'll be our time to bid this world adieu,...