How To Understand People

Don't preoccupy yourself trying to be more successful than your friends, neighbors, or coworkers. Instead, focus on improving yourself. Concentrate on being better than you were a day, a week, even a year ago -- whether that means getting in better shape, becoming more productive, having more money in the bank, or just becoming a better person all around. Comparing ourselves to other people can only lead us down a path of jealousy, resentment, and frayed relationships. We must all concede that there will always be someone more popular, attractive or successful than us. But that doesn't mean we have to begrudge them their fortune. And it doesn't mean we have to emulate them either. Their lives are theirs alone. You have your own life in which to achieve the goals that you've chosen to pursue. Those goals won't always align with others', and that's okay. Not all of us want to be rich doctors, parents to four children, or globetrotters. Some of u...

Women don't fall for jerks... They fall for confident men . In my view, no attribute draws women more to men than self-confidence . Self-confidence is the ultimate attraction builder. He doesn't have to be the best-looking, richest, smartest, or funniest man. Of course, all of those enhance his appeal, but they're not nearly as consequential. A man who knows what he wants and goes for it full throttle, in most women's eyes, is an irresistible aphrodisiac. Women love men who will let nothing or no one get in the way of their dreams -- even the women themselves. They love it when men exhibit boundless ambition. Unfortunately, too many men mistakenly assume that giving women flowers and compliments is all that's needed to build attraction. Women are highly perceptive -- they know when you're going overboard on the flattery just to get in their pants or win their approval. But that's just the thing. A confident man doesn't need a woman's appr...

The word of the day is sanguine . According to the dictionary, to be sanguine is to be optimistic, confident, or positive, especially in a bad or difficult situation. Other similar words include buoyant, enthusiastic, upbeat, and cheerful. I don't see sanguine being used that often. I first came across the word in a book I read recently. For whatever reason, it initially sounded to me like a word that could mean "sad" or "melancholy." Thus, to be sanguine is to look on the bright side -- to see the glass as half full rather than half empty. Antonyms of the word sanguine include gloomy, negative, and pessimistic. When we're in a tough spot, it certainly pays to remain sanguine. Positive thinking leads to positive outcomes. The more disposed we are toward shunning those negative thoughts that trickle into our mind, the better our chance at success. If you assume you're going to fail, you probably will. As Theodore Roosevelt once said, "Belie...

It's a question that gets thrown my way quite frequently. While others may maintain that only one soulmate exists for every individual on this planet, I contend that there's more than one person in the world with whom we can have a fruitful relationship/marriage. Otherwise, no one would ever remarry in the event that their first marriage goes awry. To assert that the person you're with is the only person you can achieve a deep physical, mental, and spiritual connection with -- and that no one else could fill those shoes -- is, in my view, very naive. What if you'd been born at a different time or in a different place?  What if you had met someone a year before you came across your partner? What if you had opted not to go to that college, party, coffee shop, or other venue where you and your significant other first locked eyes? Exactly. You could very well be with someone else right now. Context and happenstance matter. I'm not saying that we can hook ...

On April 24, 1800, President John Adams approved the appropriation of $5,000 for the purchase of "such books as may be necessary for the use of congress." The books, purchased for what we know today as the Library of Congress, were ordered from London and arrived in 1801. The collection of 740 volumes and three maps was stored in the U.S. Capitol, which served as the Library's first home. On January 26, 1802, President Thomas Jefferson approved the first legislation that specified the role and functions of the library. In an interesting coincidence, Jefferson later sold the bulk of his book collection to Congress for $23,950 after the British set the Capitol ablaze in 1814. The Library of Congress is the nation's oldest federal cultural institution and serves as the research arm of Congress. It aims to make its resources available and useful to the Congress and the public, as well as to sustain and preserve a universal collection of knowledge for future generati...

My wife and I have been together for 12 years, and it took me about a decade to realize that she isn't big on taking, posting, or scrapbooking pictures of us. I always assumed that not only did women enjoy showing off pictures of themselves and their significant other to the world, but they were always inclined to wear the photographer hat in the relationship. Not so in mine. That task has fallen on my shoulders. I have found myself taking the lion's share of photos for occasions big and small -- whether at birthday parties or while on vacation. Not only that but I've been diligent in posting them on Facebook and maintaining an album that includes pictures and keepsakes from our different trips, like movie tickets, museum passes, etc. Eventually, I started taking this a bit personally and brought it to my wife's attention. She insisted it had nothing to do with me and stated she's never been a big picture person to begin with. She's self-conscious abou...

I'm happy to say I achieved two feats over the last week: (1) I visited New York City for the first time in my life! You're probably asking, "What took you so long, dude?" Well, I'd never been big on traveling until now, not to mention the fact that my wife and I chose to save up for a while in order to have the wherewithal to go on these trips. (Much like our trip to Boston last summer, vacationing in the Big Apple costs a pretty penny.) What's more, it wasn't until just a few years ago that I morphed into the biggest history nerd on the planet. Now I have a valid excuse to explore historic cities big and small, from New York City to Washington D.C. Museums, anyone? (2) Just as my plane was landing in New York, I finished reading Ron Chernow's behemoth 730-page biography Alexander Hamilton , which inspired the hit Broadway musical .  It was fitting that I completed the book when I did, for Alexander Hamilton, immigrant-turned-Founding-Father a...

Today's quote is quite empowering -- and it comes from none other than Dr. Seuss himself! "Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." Essentially, he's saying that the people who ultimately matter in your life are the ones who will value you for who you are. On the other hand, those who try to prod you to change -- most likely out of a deep-seated urge to seek validation for their own thoughts and decisions -- shouldn't have any place in your life. Those who take exception with your interests, beliefs, and values do little to enrich your life, whereas people who embrace what makes you you are true keepers. There's nothing I find more irritating than a person trying to persuade me into thinking or acting more on them, let alone after I tell them I want to stick to my guns. There's a difference between suggesting someone consider something they may initially be opposed to, a...

My wife and I are planning a trip to New York City and, as has become customary before every vacation we book, I thought it a good opportunity to dig up some fun facts about the Big Apple. 1. New York is a city of over eight million people, covering 301 square miles. 2. The area was first sighted almost 500 years ago by Giovanni da Verrazano. The Dutch first sent fur traders in 1621, but they lost the colony they dubbed New Amsterdam to the English in 1664. The settlement was re-christened New York, and the name stuck despite the English losing the colony in 1783 at the end of the Revolutionary War. 3. Manhattan was a forested land populated by Alngonquian-speaking Natives when the Dutch West India Company established a fur-trading post called New Amsterdam in 1625. In 1898, Manhattan was joined with the four outer boroughs to form the world's second-largest city. 4. From 1800 to 1900, the population in New York City swelled from almost 80,000 to 3 million people. New Yor...

Can you believe it? One quarter of the year is in the books! Whether you thought March was a productive month or an inefficient one -- thirty-one days of ample highs or far too many lows -- it's time to press the reset button and look forward to bigger and better things in April. Perhaps you're aiming to lose weight, start your own business, travel to a new destination, or learn a new language. No matter your goals, April presents a fresh opportunity to pursue them with renewed vigor. Some people say it's ridiculous to see the first day of the month as affording an opportunity to start anew, but I find that, mentally, it is advantageous, especially if you had a rough go in the waning days of the prior month. Sometimes the mere thought that the last month is behind us -- that a new month brings new promise -- puts us in a positive frame of mind, fueling us with increased energy and ambition. This month, I aim to read more, write more, and smile more than I did in...