When asked to think about the most common culprits for a relationship's going south, most people will point to cheating, complacency, and taking one's partner for granted.
While these are all valid -- and documented in various posts on this blog -- there are certain habits on the part of partners that may not kill the relationship right away, but cause it to erode more gradually.
Among the most egregious of these is expecting your significant other to be perfect.
They pick at your follies any chance they get. Nothing you do is ever good enough. In fact, you will never measure up to an ex, neighbor, or accomplished co-worker.
Perhaps this all sounds a bit familiar.
When you feel as though you're constantly being put under the microscope, it can inflict lasting damage on the relationship and your self-esteem. You're walking on eggshells all the time, praying you don't say or do something that's going to trigger your partner.
This is no way to live, let alone carry on in a relationship.
Before your significant other has had the chance to find yet another bone to pick, stop them in their tracks.
Make it clear that no one is perfect. If you're genuinely working toward curtailing those bad habits -- whether it be that you're disorganized, a bit too fond of booze, or a tad careless with money -- speak up.
There's a difference between receiving constructive criticism and being full-on lambasted.
Sometimes you aren't necessarily battling an addiction or trying to remedy a perceived flaw or deficiency, but your partner still expects you to think or act like them -- and they implode when you don't.
You should have called at a certain time. You shouldn't have forgotten to pick up the dry-cleaning.
As if they themselves were completely flawless.
If a simple apology won't do for them, then the problem is more about them than you.
Granted, if you're repeatedly apologizing about your boozy behavior and continue to do it, then he or she has a sensible beef. But if you make only occasional missteps -- as does everyone else -- and it still sets them off, they ought to look in the mirror.
As the saying goes, to err is to be human. As long as you're doing your part to improve, your flaws should not be thrown in your face anytime your behavior doesn't align with your partner's expectations.
Once this becomes too much, you have every right to place the relationship in the dustbin of your life's history and find someone who appreciates you for who you are, flaws and all.
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