Apologies mean nothing if...

Apologies don't mean anything if you continue to do what you claim to be sorry for.

Saying "sorry" rings hollow if you persist in your unsavory behavior -- whether it's cheating on your spouse, furtively stealing money from your employer, or drug/alcohol abuse.

I firmly believe that some people apologize as a quick way out; in reality, they have no intention of following through. Deep down, they're really not sorry.

And your support can only go so far when the person can't help but fall off the wagon time and time again. Eventually, you reach a point where nothing short of counseling is in order.

I only wish the word "sorry" weren't used so loosely. It's kind of like those who go around telling people they love them after dating them just a few weeks.

Say what you mean and mean what you say. As I've stressed in earlier posts, words mean nothing unless you back them up with concrete actions.

For example, if you say you're sorry for getting drunk all the time and aim to curb such behavior -- yet you continue to buy 6-packs every time you visit the supermarket -- it makes you look like a liar who isn't serious about changing his or her ways.

If you really want to change, avoid putting yourself in situations where you'll be tempted to engage in the very behavior you're trying to curtail.

Unfortunately, many people sound like a broken record when they say sorry each and every time they do something wrong -- only to go and repeat it. It's this sort of behavior that damages many a relationship/friendship.

Again, the word means absolutely nothing if a person is not willing to atone for their mistakes by taking action -- and not slipping back to their old habits.

Apologizing is simply not sufficient. If you really believe that's all it'll take to keep a relationship afloat, I'm "sorry" to say that you are gravely mistaken. And when the word is just thrown out there, remember one thing: You're not just deceiving other people, but also yourself.

Comments

No response from someone IS a response

Make no mistake about it: When you don't get a response from someone -- whether they fail to answer your texts or return your phone calls -- it is still a response, and a powerful one at that. When a person fails to respond, it's a direct reflection of their interest -- or lack thereof -- in the relationship. Few things are more aggravating than having to hound a partner, friend, or relative for some sort of reply after we've reached out to them. Yes, we get busy from time to time, but that doesn't give anyone the right to leave the other person hanging. A terse text with something like "Been busy, will reach out soon" doesn't say much, but at least it shows some effort to bring the other person up to speed on why they've fallen off the radar. Failing to provide a response for weeks -- if not months -- communicates that you are just not a priority, and that you'll have to wait your turn to get this individual's attention. This is n...

Do you have Isolophilia? Find out...

You're probably asking yourself, "What in the world does Isolophilia mean?" It sounds like it would be something negative, doesn't it? After all, words that end in "philia" (e.g., pedophilia) tend to involve things we want nothing to do with. But Isolophilia isn't something all people deplore. In fact, introverts like me welcome it. Put simply, Isolophilia is defined as having a strong affinity for solitude. It describes a person who relishes being alone. While extroverts can only take so much solitude, we introverts find that it rejuvenates us. In order to recharge our batteries, we need to retreat to a quiet environment where we we're left alone to rest and/or gather our thoughts. Extroverts, on the other hand, become bored and drained when they're alone for a lengthy period of time. Social interaction is the fuel that drives them. So while an extrovert would probably do anything to avoid feelings of Isolophilia in most cases, an...

This will spell the end of your relationship

When asked to think about the most common culprits for a relationship's going south, most people will point to cheating, complacency, and taking one's partner for granted. While these are all valid -- and documented in various posts on this blog -- there are certain habits on the part of partners that may not kill the relationship right away, but cause it to erode more gradually. Among the most egregious of these is expecting your significant other to be perfect. They pick at your follies any chance they get. Nothing you do is ever good enough. In fact, you will never measure up to an ex, neighbor, or accomplished co-worker. Perhaps this all sounds a bit familiar. When you feel as though you're constantly being put under the microscope, it can inflict lasting damage on the relationship and your self-esteem. You're walking on eggshells all the time, praying you don't say or do something that's going to trigger your partner. This is no way to live, let alone ca...

How To Understand People

Search This Blog