Skip to main content

When someone shows their TRUE colors...

When someone shows you their true colors, never try to paint a different picture.

Many of us like giving others the benefit of the doubt. We see the glass as half full. We're optimists by nature rather than cynics. We like to see the best in people even in the face of evidence to the contrary.

Unfortunately, having such a romantic view of human nature doesn't always pay off.

Looking at someone through rose-colored glasses even when they've shown themselves to be unreliable, dishonest, manipulative, or opportunistic, can come back to bite us in a bad way.

We've all been in situations where people -- friends, relatives, significant others -- have wronged us. We accept what we construe as their heartfelt apology and forgive them, steadfast in our belief that they won't do it again.

Then, they do it again. And again. And again.

I can't help but repeat that trite expression you've likely heard a million times by now:

"Fool me once -- shame on you. Fool me twice -- shame on me."

If people see that they can get away with something repeatedly (e.g., run a red light, make an illegal turn, steal tips from a box at a restaurant) without any consequences, they're going to continue doing it.

As long as they know that you'll continue to forgive them no matter what they do, they'll persist in milking the relationship for all it's worth. They try to exploit the individual's kind nature as much as they possibly can.

Whether you're on the receiving end of such behavior -- or observe others being taken advantage of -- keep this in mind: If they strike once, they're likely to do it again.

Don't ever let your guard down completely when you're around such people. More importantly, don't paint an idealized version of them in your head.

While it's true anyone can change for the better, one act of deceit should be sufficient to convince you that the person won't always have your best interests at heart.

Don't dispense your trust so easily, as some people are quick to trample on it. Those who betray your trust don't deserve to regain it unless they can demonstrate -- convincingly -- that they're intent on changing their ways.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

No response from someone IS a response

Make no mistake about it: When you don't get a response from someone -- whether they fail to answer your texts or return your phone calls -- it is  still a response, and a powerful one at that. When a person fails to respond, it's a direct reflection of their interest -- or lack thereof -- in the relationship. Few things are more aggravating than having to hound a partner, friend, or relative for some sort of reply after we've reached out to them. Yes, we get busy from time to time, but that doesn't give anyone the right to leave the other person hanging. A terse text with something like "Been busy, will reach out soon" doesn't say much, but at least it shows some effort to bring the other person up to speed on why they've fallen off the radar. Failing to provide a response for weeks -- if not months -- communicates that you are just not a priority, and that you'll have to wait your turn to get this individual's attention. This is n...

Do you have Isolophilia? Find out...

You're probably asking yourself, "What in the world does Isolophilia mean?" It sounds like it would be something negative, doesn't it?  After all, words that end in "philia" (e.g., pedophilia) tend to involve things we want nothing to do with. But Isolophilia isn't something all people deplore. In fact, introverts like me welcome it. Put simply, Isolophilia is defined as having a strong affinity for solitude. It describes a person who relishes being alone. While extroverts can only take so much solitude, we introverts find that it rejuvenates us. In order to recharge our batteries, we need to retreat to a quiet environment where we we're left alone to rest and/or gather our thoughts. Extroverts, on the other hand, become bored and drained when they're alone for a lengthy period of time. Social interaction is the fuel that drives them. So while an extrovert would probably do anything to avoid feelings of Isolophilia in most cases, an...

This will spell the end of your relationship

When asked to think about the most common culprits for a relationship's going south, most people will point to cheating, complacency, and taking one's partner for granted. While these are all valid -- and documented in various posts on this blog -- there are certain habits on the part of partners that may not kill the relationship right away, but cause it to erode more gradually.  Among the most egregious of these is expecting your significant other to be perfect. They pick at your follies any chance they get. Nothing you do is ever good enough. In fact, you will never measure up to an ex, neighbor, or accomplished co-worker.  Perhaps this all sounds a bit familiar.  When you feel as though you're constantly being put under the microscope, it can inflict lasting damage on the relationship and your self-esteem. You're walking on eggshells all the time, praying you don't say or do something that's going to trigger your partner. This is no way to live, let alone ca...