Skip to main content

People are more interested in you when...

Many people show more interest in other people when they're not around than when they are.

We all have that coworker who may not talk to us for days at work, but somehow they notice when we're not there and proceed to inquire about it.

Many of us have been in a relationship where the other person takes us for granted -- until we begin to show signs of getting fed up and cease putting in as much time and effort.

Then there's the friend who only seems to care about the friendship once you've stopped calling and visiting them.

If we want people to appreciate us, we have no choice but to force them to invest time and effort in us too -- not just the other way around. By doing so, the individual realizes that if they're taking their spare time to do something for us, they must truly care about us.

The tendency to take others for granted is a theme I've broached in myriad posts on the blog.

I understand that we get busy, and being unable to answer every call or text message isn't unusual.

But most of us can tell the difference between someone who's busy and someone who flat-out couldn't care if you're around or not. What's more, the ones who eventually do ask about you might be doing it out of sheer nosiness more than anything else.

As I've said so many times before, a solid relationship requires the time and effort of both parties.  You shouldn't feel as though you have to carry all the weight on your shoulders. If that's the case, the relationship is headed for turbulent waters.

Sometimes, all it takes to make someone or something more valuable in people's eyes is the prospect of loss. Whether it's realizing that a coworker's resignation is imminent or that one's partner is about to walk out the door, the feeling (or fear) of losing a person can be quite powerful.

I'm not saying you should threaten to leave, but let it be known that you will not be taken for a ride. Once people realize this, they'll earn a new level of respect for you and likely change their unappreciative ways.

Comments

Priscilla King said…
I wish it worked in cyberspace!

Popular posts from this blog

No response from someone IS a response

Make no mistake about it: When you don't get a response from someone -- whether they fail to answer your texts or return your phone calls -- it is  still a response, and a powerful one at that. When a person fails to respond, it's a direct reflection of their interest -- or lack thereof -- in the relationship. Few things are more aggravating than having to hound a partner, friend, or relative for some sort of reply after we've reached out to them. Yes, we get busy from time to time, but that doesn't give anyone the right to leave the other person hanging. A terse text with something like "Been busy, will reach out soon" doesn't say much, but at least it shows some effort to bring the other person up to speed on why they've fallen off the radar. Failing to provide a response for weeks -- if not months -- communicates that you are just not a priority, and that you'll have to wait your turn to get this individual's attention. This is n...

Do you have Isolophilia? Find out...

You're probably asking yourself, "What in the world does Isolophilia mean?" It sounds like it would be something negative, doesn't it?  After all, words that end in "philia" (e.g., pedophilia) tend to involve things we want nothing to do with. But Isolophilia isn't something all people deplore. In fact, introverts like me welcome it. Put simply, Isolophilia is defined as having a strong affinity for solitude. It describes a person who relishes being alone. While extroverts can only take so much solitude, we introverts find that it rejuvenates us. In order to recharge our batteries, we need to retreat to a quiet environment where we we're left alone to rest and/or gather our thoughts. Extroverts, on the other hand, become bored and drained when they're alone for a lengthy period of time. Social interaction is the fuel that drives them. So while an extrovert would probably do anything to avoid feelings of Isolophilia in most cases, an...

This will spell the end of your relationship

When asked to think about the most common culprits for a relationship's going south, most people will point to cheating, complacency, and taking one's partner for granted. While these are all valid -- and documented in various posts on this blog -- there are certain habits on the part of partners that may not kill the relationship right away, but cause it to erode more gradually.  Among the most egregious of these is expecting your significant other to be perfect. They pick at your follies any chance they get. Nothing you do is ever good enough. In fact, you will never measure up to an ex, neighbor, or accomplished co-worker.  Perhaps this all sounds a bit familiar.  When you feel as though you're constantly being put under the microscope, it can inflict lasting damage on the relationship and your self-esteem. You're walking on eggshells all the time, praying you don't say or do something that's going to trigger your partner. This is no way to live, let alone ca...