Skip to main content

SECRET: Why people judge you

Swiss psychiatrist and psychotherapist Carl Jung (1875-1961) once said, "Thinking is difficult, that's why most people judge."

I think Jung hit this one out of the park.

People, in general, are lazy thinkers. They try to minimize their thinking as much as possible, thus the reason my social psychology professor in college once told my class that human beings are "cognitive misers."

I think this explains in part why people have become so reliant on reality television -- or, more broadly, TV in general -- for entertainment. In this era of Netflix and streaming content, the last thing most people are thinking about is reading Shakespeare for leisure.

Technology, moreover, seems to be exacerbating the problem. The easier things become, the less inclined we are to think critically to arrive at solutions to problems.

And why don't people want to think? Because it's difficult, taxing, strenuous. Most people wish to spend as little brainpower as possible, especially after coming home from work.

Thus, it should come as no surprise that people resort to judging others in the absence of information. When they don't know us well, they fill in any gaps arbitrarily.

For example, they may deem quiet people to be stuck-up and assume overly talkative ones must be heavy drinkers or club hoppers.

In other words, they pass judgment without knowing the facts because, well, it's the easy route. Maybe if they actually took the time to talk to the individual or get someone else's opinion, they'd be in a position to make a more accurate assessment.

If you want to get a better feel for what a person is really like, you have all sorts of digital tools at your disposal today, from LinkedIn to Facebook. A little research goes a long way.

Too many people talk -- or judge -- before they think, and it often lands them in hot water.

We shouldn't judge anyone until we have sufficient information to go by, and, even then, our judgment may still be faulty.

Comments

Anonymous said…
As I age, I tend to think less (it is too tiresome) - and thus also judge less. I guess I've learned I don't make a good judge. Leave judging to God. He is the only good judge out there - one who knows our human weaknesses and has compassion.
Anonymous said…
Just passing by; I liked the article but found a bit of humor in the comment here in regards to just letting God do the judging. How many deaths or 'things' occur to people which have been laid blame to 'God'? Following the train of thought here that you've brought up, what if the things that God, not the people of, but God has judged, or the deaths occurred because of that great ability to understand and know compassion?
All in all you're right. Judging can be a messy business.

Popular posts from this blog

This will spell the end of your relationship

When asked to think about the most common culprits for a relationship's going south, most people will point to cheating, complacency, and taking one's partner for granted. While these are all valid -- and documented in various posts on this blog -- there are certain habits on the part of partners that may not kill the relationship right away, but cause it to erode more gradually.  Among the most egregious of these is expecting your significant other to be perfect. They pick at your follies any chance they get. Nothing you do is ever good enough. In fact, you will never measure up to an ex, neighbor, or accomplished co-worker.  Perhaps this all sounds a bit familiar.  When you feel as though you're constantly being put under the microscope, it can inflict lasting damage on the relationship and your self-esteem. You're walking on eggshells all the time, praying you don't say or do something that's going to trigger your partner. This is no way to live, let alone ca

No response from someone IS a response

Make no mistake about it: When you don't get a response from someone -- whether they fail to answer your texts or return your phone calls -- it is  still a response, and a powerful one at that. When a person fails to respond, it's a direct reflection of their interest -- or lack thereof -- in the relationship. Few things are more aggravating than having to hound a partner, friend, or relative for some sort of reply after we've reached out to them. Yes, we get busy from time to time, but that doesn't give anyone the right to leave the other person hanging. A terse text with something like "Been busy, will reach out soon" doesn't say much, but at least it shows some effort to bring the other person up to speed on why they've fallen off the radar. Failing to provide a response for weeks -- if not months -- communicates that you are just not a priority, and that you'll have to wait your turn to get this individual's attention. This is n

Misconceptions about quiet people

Earlier today, I came across a Facebook page that features motivational quotes intended to improve people's moods and enhance their overall self-esteem. Interestingly, I noticed two quotes that focus specifically on quiet people: "Be afraid of quiet people; they're the ones who actually think." "The quietest people have the loudest minds." I've observed that most people's views of quiet individuals can fall under one of two categories: 1. The ones who say quiet people are antisocial, suspicious, snobbish, and/or full of themselves. 2. The people who say their introspective nature and propensity to be deep in thought makes them smarter than their more garrulous peers. The quotes above speak to this mindset. As an introvert known to be quiet at work and at social functions where I might not know anyone, I feel I'm well positioned to dispel any inaccuracies surrounding quiet folks. First of all, the above statements misguidedly put