Your life is good. You have a loving partner, great home, wonderful kids, and decent-paying job. You're in good health, and your finances in order.
But something always feels missing -- a void you can never quite seem to fill. And this makes for a life you perceive as not entirely fulfilling.
It may very well be that you have what I like to call Bigger Better Syndrome, or BBS. As you can probably guess, it means always being on the hunt for something bigger or better.
That could be the latest iPhone, a new car every year, or a different job. Maybe you just had a kid and are already thinking of the next one, or the condo you purchased recently is no longer cutting it.
You see the grass as always potentially greener on the other side. You become deeply invested in something, but once you acquire or succeed at it, you're on to your next conquest. It's as if you live more in the future than in the present.
Just why do we do this?
Seeking others' approval
Keeping up with the Joneses has an almost irresistible pull to some. People very often see brands as a reflection of themselves. So, for example, if an individual wants to be perceived as have a discerning taste, she might sport Coach, Louis Vuitton, or Yves Saint Laurant.
But in many cases, it's only because their relatives or friends showcase such brands themselves and they don't want to feel like the lone oddball who wears lower-quality stuff. In essence, many people let others hold more sway over their purchasing decisions than themselves -- all because they want to fit in.
This also extends to lifestyle choices including drinking and the pursuit of a given profession.
Hollywood and the media have an outsized influence
Many people look to celebrities for inspiration in their lives. The thinking goes that if they became rich and famous, they must be doing something right. And so they take their cue from these megastars in the areas of fashion, physical appearance, and beyond. Just imagine how many young girls dream of being the next Britney Spears, or how many boys aspire to become the next Lebron James. This is especially true if, growing up, the person lacked real role models in his or her circle.
Social media plays a chief role
On social platforms like Facebook and Instragram, everyone has the perfect life -- or, at least, that's what many folks strive to project. It can be disheartening when most everyone -- as evidenced by the content they post -- seems to be losing weight, getting married, or having kids except you. If there's something social media succeeds at doing very well, it's inducing people to compare themselves to others.
Sound like you? Here's where to go from here
There's no harm in setting goals and being ambitious, but it's important to do so while already being grateful for what one has. Material stuff has been shown to create only transitory happiness -- it's our experiences that bring us lasting joy. In fact, studies show that looking forward to a trip can actually make us happier than being on the actual vacation!
But as I alluded to earlier, real happiness lies in remaining in the present, the here and now. Why not take a moment every now and then to appreciate all your own -- all you have achieved? Rather than always focusing on those who have more, why not concentrate on the people who have a lot less and would do anything to be in your shoes?
With this frame of mind, you might forego a new pair of shoes and donate that money to a local charity instead. Doing good things for others -- especially those in need -- helps us feel a lot better about ourselves than an indulgent purchase ever could.
Yes, there could be a better job, partner, or home in your future. Or, perhaps the perfect one already graces your life and you just haven't realized it yet.
Life isn't so much about getting the best or most of everything, but about making the most of what you already have.
The bottom line
If you spend all your time yearning for something better, what you have in the present will never quite measure up. That's why it's imperative every now and then to pause and practice gratitude. Being thankful and aiming for even better things can happen concurrently. While plotting your next steps, it's important not to forget how you got here and that you already have it a lot better than many others in this vast world.
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