It goes without saying that toxic people can be corrosive to our mental and emotional satisfaction. The longer they remain in our lives and the more time we spend with them, the higher the risk it poses to our well-being.
Stop for a moment to consider who in your life you'd deem toxic:
- Is it a boss or co-worker who has a knack for humiliating you at work?
- Is it a friend who talks smack behind your back?
- Or is it even your own partner, whose comments about your physical appearance border on the abusive?
Perhaps you might have multiple toxic folks in your personal and professional life. Such relationships can be awfully difficult to navigate, but with the right tools, you can neutralize their power and walk away stronger and more resilient.
The damage toxic people can inflict
Toxic people can undercut our self-esteem and diminish our feelings of self-worth. The more they repeat things like "you're not worth it" to us, the more likely we are to come to believe them. In fact, toxic people are masters in the art of manipulation: They sniff out what we're most sensitive about -- whether it be our weight or our quiet nature -- and glom on to it. Then, when something rubs them the wrong way, they pull it out of their arsenal and unleash their venom with full force. It could be that you got the promotion and they didn't, or merely that you carry a smile around all day while they stew in their own disenchantment.
Why people are toxic
There can be a whole host of reasons why people stoop to this level. It usually boils down to their being unhappy about their own life and projecting that disillusion onto the rest of us. As the saying goes, misery loves company, and there's nothing that irks a toxic person more than seeing the people in their orbit feeling mighty chipper. In order to restore a sense of equilibrium and feel better about themselves, they resort to trying to hurt others' feelings.
How to handle toxic people
Toxic folks can eat away at our happiness insofar as we allow them to. The moment you say "enough is enough" and let them know you won't stand for their insolence, the tables can begin to turn. Once they witness you stand up for yourself and what you believe in, they may actually gain a newfound sense of respect for you. But this isn't always a given. If their impertinence continues, you are well within your rights to say you refuse to associate with them any longer and effectively sever ties.
This may not be easy to do if the toxic person in question is your boss and you really don't want to imperil your well-paying job, or a partner whom you've been with a long time. But let's face it: No job or partner is worth risking your mental or emotional health for. And the right job or partner would never subject you to such terrible treatment.
What you should never do
If you try to fight their toxicity by being toxic yourself, guess what? They've won. Toxic people take sick pleasure in using the worst of themselves to bring out the worst in you. Never take the bait. Never stoop to their surly, conniving level. Be the better man or woman by acting with dignity. Maintain firmness while never abandoning your self-respect. There's nothing that perturbs a toxic individual more than failing to get under your skin. Keep your composure -- it'll drive them mad!
The bottom line
Life is too short to waste our finite mental and emotional resources on people bent on making us miserable. The good thing is that how we respond can make all the difference. Stay true to your values. Stand up for your principles. And if you find that parting ways is the only way for you to regain a sense of peace, never feel guilty in doing so. Your happiness matters.
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