A red flag you're dealing with selfish people

It's normal to put yourself first every now and then. After all, if we constantly bend over for everyone but ourselves -- the demanding boss, the friend who's always broke -- our well-being will eventually take a major nosedive.

The people we have to be especially wary of the ones who take, take, take -- but never give back.

Relationships are about scratching each other's back. But this doesn't necessarily mean they always have to be 50/50.

There will be times where one person is more in need than the other, whether they're struck with an unexpected illness, they lose a loved one, or they get fired from work.

We all have to contend with adversity at different points in our lives, and we often turn to friends and family for support.

But what if they fail to accommodate you even after we've been there for them countless times?

It should be an indication that they're in it for themselves.

I can understand their not being able to lend you money each and every time you request it, or not being available to pick you up from the airport each time you land.

But declining your every request -- let alone never answering your calls or texts when you've communicated that you're the one who needs a hand this time -- sends a clear message. And that message is, "I don't care."

When it becomes apparent your time and effort aren't being reciprocated -- and will never be -- it can be a huge let-down, especially if it's someone we've come to trust and respect.

You really don't know who your true friends are until you're facing hard times. Those who stand behind you are keepers, while the ones who bolt show themselves to be selfish to the bone.

Do you really want the latter in your life? I certainly do not.

The good thing is that, at the end of the day, we don't need a wide circle of close friends and confidantes. Three to five special, reliable individuals is more than sufficient.

Refuse to be used. If you're dealing with someone who doesn't agree that relationships are a two-way street, you may want to nix them from your life.

Comments

This will spell the end of your relationship

When asked to think about the most common culprits for a relationship's going south, most people will point to cheating, complacency, and taking one's partner for granted. While these are all valid -- and documented in various posts on this blog -- there are certain habits on the part of partners that may not kill the relationship right away, but cause it to erode more gradually. Among the most egregious of these is expecting your significant other to be perfect. They pick at your follies any chance they get. Nothing you do is ever good enough. In fact, you will never measure up to an ex, neighbor, or accomplished co-worker. Perhaps this all sounds a bit familiar. When you feel as though you're constantly being put under the microscope, it can inflict lasting damage on the relationship and your self-esteem. You're walking on eggshells all the time, praying you don't say or do something that's going to trigger your partner. This is no way to live, let alone ca

No response from someone IS a response

Make no mistake about it: When you don't get a response from someone -- whether they fail to answer your texts or return your phone calls -- it is still a response, and a powerful one at that. When a person fails to respond, it's a direct reflection of their interest -- or lack thereof -- in the relationship. Few things are more aggravating than having to hound a partner, friend, or relative for some sort of reply after we've reached out to them. Yes, we get busy from time to time, but that doesn't give anyone the right to leave the other person hanging. A terse text with something like "Been busy, will reach out soon" doesn't say much, but at least it shows some effort to bring the other person up to speed on why they've fallen off the radar. Failing to provide a response for weeks -- if not months -- communicates that you are just not a priority, and that you'll have to wait your turn to get this individual's attention. This is n

Misconceptions about quiet people

Earlier today, I came across a Facebook page that features motivational quotes intended to improve people's moods and enhance their overall self-esteem. Interestingly, I noticed two quotes that focus specifically on quiet people: "Be afraid of quiet people; they're the ones who actually think." "The quietest people have the loudest minds." I've observed that most people's views of quiet individuals can fall under one of two categories: 1. The ones who say quiet people are antisocial, suspicious, snobbish, and/or full of themselves. 2. The people who say their introspective nature and propensity to be deep in thought makes them smarter than their more garrulous peers. The quotes above speak to this mindset. As an introvert known to be quiet at work and at social functions where I might not know anyone, I feel I'm well positioned to dispel any inaccuracies surrounding quiet folks. First of all, the above statements misguidedly put

Understand People

Search This Blog