Sometimes you need to stand alone to prove this

Sometimes you need to stand alone to prove -- not only to others, but to yourself -- that you can still stand.

I believe strongly in turning to friends and family for support amid tough times.

But oftentimes the answers lie in us, even if we may not realize it at first, and all we need to do is follow our gut.

For instance, maybe you've been dating someone whom you know deep down isn't the right match for you, or working in a career that you've known for a long time doesn't make full use of your skills.

Perhaps others prod you to continue dating this individual because they're certain the future looks bright for the two of you. (They may have been the ones to fix you up as well.)

Or they implore you to remain in that job because, well, things are bad out there and surely you can't find a position that better suits you, right?

While many of these people mean well, who better to know who or what is right for you than yourself?

Indeed, arriving at clear, well-thought decisions can sometimes necessitate soundproofing your life. In essence, this means cutting all the outside noise -- the cacophony of voices telling you to do one thing or the other -- and instead listening to your intuition.

Many people fear making a decision without getting others to weigh in. But what they should consider is that those very people could drive them to make the wrong one.

There's no harm in seeking their advice, but ultimately the final decision rests with you, and you should always trust your instincts over others' suggestions and opinions.

It bothers me to no end how society characterizes a person's desire to be alone as weird or deviant behavior.

No, sometimes what we need more than anything is peace and quiet in order to facilitate levelheaded decisionmaking -- listening to that inner voice and drowning out the ones coming from so many directions.

If it runs someone the wrong way, tell him that while you appreciate their concern, it's a decision you need to make yourself.

Never be afraid to stand alone, and once you've made a decision, don't look back! If it doesn't work out for you, lesson learned. If it does, you can take pride in the fact you let your inner voice be your ultimate guide.

Social distancing lends itself to this approach, as our interactions with others have been limited by shelter-in-place orders.

No one's better in tune with your inner thoughts, motivations, likes, dislikes, passions, and goals like you are. So leverage your alone time wisely. Look deep within yourself and ask yourself this question: If I were advising myself, what might I say?

Therein lies the key -- not just to resolving whatever problem you face, but possibly to unlocking the elsuive happiness you've sought for such a long time.

No response from someone IS a response

Make no mistake about it: When you don't get a response from someone -- whether they fail to answer your texts or return your phone calls -- it is still a response, and a powerful one at that. When a person fails to respond, it's a direct reflection of their interest -- or lack thereof -- in the relationship. Few things are more aggravating than having to hound a partner, friend, or relative for some sort of reply after we've reached out to them. Yes, we get busy from time to time, but that doesn't give anyone the right to leave the other person hanging. A terse text with something like "Been busy, will reach out soon" doesn't say much, but at least it shows some effort to bring the other person up to speed on why they've fallen off the radar. Failing to provide a response for weeks -- if not months -- communicates that you are just not a priority, and that you'll have to wait your turn to get this individual's attention. This is n...

Do you have Isolophilia? Find out...

You're probably asking yourself, "What in the world does Isolophilia mean?" It sounds like it would be something negative, doesn't it? After all, words that end in "philia" (e.g., pedophilia) tend to involve things we want nothing to do with. But Isolophilia isn't something all people deplore. In fact, introverts like me welcome it. Put simply, Isolophilia is defined as having a strong affinity for solitude. It describes a person who relishes being alone. While extroverts can only take so much solitude, we introverts find that it rejuvenates us. In order to recharge our batteries, we need to retreat to a quiet environment where we we're left alone to rest and/or gather our thoughts. Extroverts, on the other hand, become bored and drained when they're alone for a lengthy period of time. Social interaction is the fuel that drives them. So while an extrovert would probably do anything to avoid feelings of Isolophilia in most cases, an...

This will spell the end of your relationship

When asked to think about the most common culprits for a relationship's going south, most people will point to cheating, complacency, and taking one's partner for granted. While these are all valid -- and documented in various posts on this blog -- there are certain habits on the part of partners that may not kill the relationship right away, but cause it to erode more gradually. Among the most egregious of these is expecting your significant other to be perfect. They pick at your follies any chance they get. Nothing you do is ever good enough. In fact, you will never measure up to an ex, neighbor, or accomplished co-worker. Perhaps this all sounds a bit familiar. When you feel as though you're constantly being put under the microscope, it can inflict lasting damage on the relationship and your self-esteem. You're walking on eggshells all the time, praying you don't say or do something that's going to trigger your partner. This is no way to live, let alone ca...

How To Understand People

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