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Why control freaks can be so irritating

Frustrated woman

The dictionary defines a control freak as "a person who feels an obsessive need to exercise control over themselves and others and to take command of any situation."

Whether at work or in our own love life, we've all encountered someone who fits this description to a tee.

Maybe it's the surly supervisor who puts her nose in even the most minute things, like how many Post-It Notes the department is going through weekly. 

Then there's the controlling partner who has to know where you are at all hours of the day. 

The common thread here is that these individuals: 
  • Treat you as if you were a child
  • Seem suspicious of your every move
  • Are possessive
  • Are insecure 
  • Make you feel as though you can't be trusted 
So why are these folks this difficult?

Yes, it could be that it's in their nature, where their need for self-control spills into their relationships. But more often than not, someone in their past caused them to be this way, whether it was an employee they caught stealing funds or an ex who betrayed their trust.

While it's understandable to exercise some caution, these folks take their cynicism to extreme heights. 

If it gets to the point where their behavior is diminishing enjoyment of the job or relationship -- let alone palpably reducing your quality of life overall -- an honest, open conversation is in order.

Hopefully, that's all it takes to get them to lighten up a bit. But if all else fails, you may wind up having to make some tough decisions. 

At work, you might just have to 
request a transfer or seek employment elsewhere. In your relationship, you can only be put under a microscope for so long before the urge to break free hits you. 

Trust is an integral ingredient in our professional and personal relationships. What control freaks don't realize is that if we feel that our trust isn't being reciprocated, it drives us further and further away from them, which in turn makes them even more suspicious of our actions.

Life is too short to feel as though you're under surveillance. Don't let anyone silence your voice and impinge on your freedom. 

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