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Letting go of someone means this...

You've likely read at least a few posts on this blog that stress the importance of letting go -- both for your health and well-being.

But what does letting go really mean?

In truth, there is more to it than just telling someone you never wish to see them again.

In fact, you can let go of someone without removing them from your life entirely. 

 It's not so much about physically letting go, but mentally disconnecting in a way that loosens the individual's hold on you. Examples include:

  • Changing the labels you place on a person or an event. Perhaps you call Josh "loudmouth" because of his penchant for spewing bunk at work. Or, you've labeled the upcoming birthday family party you're dreading having to go to as the "party from hell."
     By assigning these descriptors, you've given 
     them permission to to aggravate you. In 
     essence, you've given them far too much
     importance. 

     The more you train your mind not to think
     about the things and people that diminish 
     your happiness, the happier you'll be. 

     Instead, think of Josh as just a guy you may 
     not even be working with a year from now,
     and the party as a quick two-hour affair 
     that'll be done before you know it. 

     Teach your mind not to blow out of 
     proportion matters that, in the grand 
     scheme of things, aren't significant. 
  • Changing how you respond to things and people.  Have you or anyone else you know ever said "just let it go"?  That's precisely what you   should tell yourself under these   circumstances.
      Something or someone can only bother              you insofar as you allow them to. 

      If you respond in anger or frustration, you
      will only attract negativity. If, however, 
      you consciously work toward keeping your
      emotions in check -- not allowing them to
      overpower your rational impulses -- you'll 
      be much better off.

      As you've probably realized for yourself,
      the mind is immensely powerful. Leave a
      tiny opening for negative thoughts to
      funnel into it and you may find yourself
      overthinking until the cows come home.

      Thus, letting go means no longer giving
      something or someone power over you --
      over your thoughts, your emotions, and
      your happiness. 
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Comments

Anonymous said…
this was such a beautiful, much needed read. however, I‘m curious as to ‘how’ you shouldn’t allow things or people have that power over you. for example; wanting that unconditional, healthy love from your mother who unpredictably gives it and takes it back. how can one not become triggered by that ‘inconsistent mother’ label? how can we not give meaning to important things we value? how can pain ever be inevitable?
May 10, 2020 at 12:22 AM
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