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Does caring less make others more attractive?

It's a question asked of me quite often.

In the rough-and-tumble that is the dating world, do you stand out if you actually care less?

Well, that depends on the people we're dealing with.

Take a blonde bombshell who gets asked out all the time, with guys buying her flowers and candy left and right.

Then, out of nowhere comes an attractive guy who isn't swooning over her. Though friendly, he treats her as he would any other woman he meets.

She doesn't know for sure whether he's interested in her -- something she, quite frankly, is unaccustomed to -- and that piques her interest.

The guy is effectively posing a challenge, and she's compelled to unearth why he doesn't allow himself to be made putty in her hands like all the other chumps do.

That being said, giving off a more non-chalant vibe might work when the target is very attractive and has no shortage of options to choose from.

Some people perceive those who give them the cold shoulder to be confident in themselves, needing no one's validation -- and that's sexy in their eyes.

But it might not work either.

Maybe they're not interested in a relationship right now, they don't find your attractive, or your standoffish behavior rubs them the wrong way.

As for people who are more average-looking and not exactly beating potential partners off with a stick, the approach may backfire completely.

Many men and women out there take relationships seriously. They've been burned in the past by an ex, or they themselves toyed with someone's emotions and learned their lesson. Now they're looking for the real deal.

At the same time, you don't want to appear overly interested in the beginning so as to seem desperate.

For example, it's probably not a sound idea to broach the topic of marriage and kids on the first couple of dates, or to pester the other person with calls and compliments.

Why not aim for something in the middle?

You can express interest while being a bit of a challenge. You can be kind and romantic, but also funny and mysterious at the same time.

But the dynamics evolve once things become more serious. Making a conscious effort to keep a partner guessing just doesn't work in the same way once two people know each other as well -- flaws included.

When taken too far, projected indifference has the potential to unravel a relationship.

In conclusion, if you prioritize looks in a partner and won't settle for anything less than a model or athlete, a little aloofness may score you some points.

But if you value inner beauty more than physical appearance (which isn't to say the person can't be physically attractive), you're probably better off not going to such lengths.

Then again, you just never know. The shy, meek girl at the gym may be the one who has a thing for buff biker guys.

Attraction isn't easy to grasp, and we -- no matter our personalities, traits, and quirks-- can't help but feel drawn toward certain people.

In the grand scheme of things, indifference shouldn't be a likeable trait -- but some people are helplessly drawn to the role of pursuer.

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