3 tips for not letting people get to you

Some of the people we have to deal with in our daily lives are, shall we say, difficult.

Our bosses may impose unrealistic demands on us, oblivious to the fact we may have a sick child or parent to attend to.

Our relatives might meddle in our business, bringing pressure to bear on us so that we take the course of action they think would make us happy rather than the one we're confident will. (As if they would know us better than we know ourselves.)

And even our closest friends can be tough to stomach on their worst days. They may take their frustrations out on us without necessarily intending to, potentially causing a rift in the friendship.

Here are a few tips to prevent you from losing your cool:

1. Remind yourself it's only temporary. You may intend to stay in that job another year before moving on. The family member giving you grief -- your cousin Eddie, for example -- may only be in town for another few days. And your friend, normally of a jovial temperament, may be having a rough go of late because her grandma recently passed away.

2. Others can't bother you without your permission. One of the best things about being a sentient person is that no one can get in your head -- unless, of course, you let them in. The more attention you pay someone, the more they'll infiltrate your thoughts and wield control over your moods.

Only by blocking them out of your mind can you allot room for the positive, enriching things and people that matter. From Netflix to gardening, there's a plethora of options for distraction.

3. Will you be thinking about this a year from now? Chances are, whatever or whoever teed you off will be in the farthest recesses of your mind in 12 months, if not six. Why get all worked up over something of so little importance?

Again, close the door of your mind to all those unwelcome negative thoughts. Deny them entry at all times!

People WILL upset you -- there's no getting around that. But remember: you remain in full control of how you respond to them, even if it means ignoring such individuals altogether.

Comments

Anonymous said…

Its all within your control..

April 21, 2020 at 8:46 PM

No response from someone IS a response

Make no mistake about it: When you don't get a response from someone -- whether they fail to answer your texts or return your phone calls -- it is still a response, and a powerful one at that. When a person fails to respond, it's a direct reflection of their interest -- or lack thereof -- in the relationship. Few things are more aggravating than having to hound a partner, friend, or relative for some sort of reply after we've reached out to them. Yes, we get busy from time to time, but that doesn't give anyone the right to leave the other person hanging. A terse text with something like "Been busy, will reach out soon" doesn't say much, but at least it shows some effort to bring the other person up to speed on why they've fallen off the radar. Failing to provide a response for weeks -- if not months -- communicates that you are just not a priority, and that you'll have to wait your turn to get this individual's attention. This is n...

Do you have Isolophilia? Find out...

You're probably asking yourself, "What in the world does Isolophilia mean?" It sounds like it would be something negative, doesn't it? After all, words that end in "philia" (e.g., pedophilia) tend to involve things we want nothing to do with. But Isolophilia isn't something all people deplore. In fact, introverts like me welcome it. Put simply, Isolophilia is defined as having a strong affinity for solitude. It describes a person who relishes being alone. While extroverts can only take so much solitude, we introverts find that it rejuvenates us. In order to recharge our batteries, we need to retreat to a quiet environment where we we're left alone to rest and/or gather our thoughts. Extroverts, on the other hand, become bored and drained when they're alone for a lengthy period of time. Social interaction is the fuel that drives them. So while an extrovert would probably do anything to avoid feelings of Isolophilia in most cases, an...

This will spell the end of your relationship

When asked to think about the most common culprits for a relationship's going south, most people will point to cheating, complacency, and taking one's partner for granted. While these are all valid -- and documented in various posts on this blog -- there are certain habits on the part of partners that may not kill the relationship right away, but cause it to erode more gradually. Among the most egregious of these is expecting your significant other to be perfect. They pick at your follies any chance they get. Nothing you do is ever good enough. In fact, you will never measure up to an ex, neighbor, or accomplished co-worker. Perhaps this all sounds a bit familiar. When you feel as though you're constantly being put under the microscope, it can inflict lasting damage on the relationship and your self-esteem. You're walking on eggshells all the time, praying you don't say or do something that's going to trigger your partner. This is no way to live, let alone ca...

How To Understand People

Search This Blog