Skip to main content

Be careful when your date pushes you to do this

Couple snuggling

Be leery of someone you're dating who tries to cajole you into moving much faster than you're comfortable with.

If someone is worth your while, they would never pressure you into doing anything -- whether it's sleeping going on a trip to a faraway island by yourselves, or tying the knot -- before you feel you're ready for that major step.

If they can't respect your wishes, too bad! They're more than welcome to move on and find someone who similarly desires to move at blazing speed.

That's not you. No, you refuse to betray your values and principles, whether that means waiting until marriage to be intimate or not wanting to give into the other person's desire to move to another state together after dating for a mere two months.

You'd be right to question why he or she seems intent on moving at breakneck speed.

Does he just want to use you?

Is she looking to use you for your money until she gets back on her feet?

Is he on the rebound, aiming to use you to get over the ex and then moving on?

Or, does he/she have something else up their sleeve?

I understand that some people wish to move a little faster than others.

That's why expectations should be laid on the table from the get-go in order to avoid confusion and miscommunication later on.

If you're sure you don't want to move in together until you've been in the relationship at least 3 years, don't wish to have kids until you're 35, or do not desire to combine bank accounts, make this clear early on.

There's nothing wrong with having certain standards, goals, and expectations you expect a significant offer to honor and share.

But pressuring someone to do something they don't want to do is tantamount to assault/harassment, which should never be tolerated.

And don't buy their repeated assurances that they'll slow down eventually if in actuality they seem more persistent as time goes on.

If that individual can't meet you halfway at least, you're better off without them anyway.

You have to ask yourself whether you're truly willing to settle for someone who gives such scant consideration to your wants and needs. Indeed, their selfishness will do little more than rip the relationship apart gradually.

Don't feel bad about holding out for someone who wants to proceed at a speed you're comfortable with. It beats jumping into a relationship and making decisions (e.g., marriage) that you won't be able to undo with the snap of a finger. 

Comments

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

Popular posts from this blog

This will spell the end of your relationship

When asked to think about the most common culprits for a relationship's going south, most people will point to cheating, complacency, and taking one's partner for granted. While these are all valid -- and documented in various posts on this blog -- there are certain habits on the part of partners that may not kill the relationship right away, but cause it to erode more gradually.  Among the most egregious of these is expecting your significant other to be perfect. They pick at your follies any chance they get. Nothing you do is ever good enough. In fact, you will never measure up to an ex, neighbor, or accomplished co-worker.  Perhaps this all sounds a bit familiar.  When you feel as though you're constantly being put under the microscope, it can inflict lasting damage on the relationship and your self-esteem. You're walking on eggshells all the time, praying you don't say or do something that's going to trigger your partner. This is no way to live, let alone ca

No response from someone IS a response

Make no mistake about it: When you don't get a response from someone -- whether they fail to answer your texts or return your phone calls -- it is  still a response, and a powerful one at that. When a person fails to respond, it's a direct reflection of their interest -- or lack thereof -- in the relationship. Few things are more aggravating than having to hound a partner, friend, or relative for some sort of reply after we've reached out to them. Yes, we get busy from time to time, but that doesn't give anyone the right to leave the other person hanging. A terse text with something like "Been busy, will reach out soon" doesn't say much, but at least it shows some effort to bring the other person up to speed on why they've fallen off the radar. Failing to provide a response for weeks -- if not months -- communicates that you are just not a priority, and that you'll have to wait your turn to get this individual's attention. This is n

Misconceptions about quiet people

Earlier today, I came across a Facebook page that features motivational quotes intended to improve people's moods and enhance their overall self-esteem. Interestingly, I noticed two quotes that focus specifically on quiet people: "Be afraid of quiet people; they're the ones who actually think." "The quietest people have the loudest minds." I've observed that most people's views of quiet individuals can fall under one of two categories: 1. The ones who say quiet people are antisocial, suspicious, snobbish, and/or full of themselves. 2. The people who say their introspective nature and propensity to be deep in thought makes them smarter than their more garrulous peers. The quotes above speak to this mindset. As an introvert known to be quiet at work and at social functions where I might not know anyone, I feel I'm well positioned to dispel any inaccuracies surrounding quiet folks. First of all, the above statements misguidedly put