Skip to main content

3 Signs of a FAKE Friend

Chances are there has been someone in your life whom you called a friend -- only to realize they were anything but.

It can be soul-sucking when someone in whom we've invested a great deal of time, energy, and -- more importantly, trust -- lets us down.

But all it shows is that no matter how well we think we know someone -- no matter how strongly we believe we have a firm sense of their true character and motivations -- they can deceive us at any point in time.

Here are three signs someone is only pretending to be your friend:

1. They talk behind your back. They're two-faced, saying good things about you when in your presence but doing the exact opposite when you're not around. This signals that they not only disvalue your trust, but also your loyalty.

2. They only seem to surface when they need you. 

If you get a call or text from this individual, they need money, a cable jump, or some other favor. Being the good friend that you are, you're always happy to oblige.

But when you need them, they're nowhere to be found. It demonstrates selfishness and a complete lack of empathy.

Indeed, true friends don't take one another for granted. They scratch one another's back. They're there to celebrate the highs and and weather the lows together.

3. They vanish into thin air while in a relationship. 

Your friend becomes noticeably harder to reach everytime they hook up with someone. You've gone from talking once or twice a week to once every few months, if you're lucky. Not to mention you tend to be the one to initiate contact.

But if and when that relationship fails, voila! They suddenly reappear, eager to catch up, hit up the movie theater, and resume other activities you enjoyed together before he she ventured off into the sunset with their love bunny.

While friends are supposed to be there to support one another through tough times (see #2), it isn't fair to expect anyone to remain at one's beck and call. There's no reason why someone couldn't take the time to connect with a close friend at least occasionally, even while in a relationship.

Even a quick text or call counts. But by putting friends on the back burner, one risks seeing those friendships wither away. Indeed, if the relationship founders, there may be no friends around to provide consolation.

In sum, you should remain wary of friends who exhibit any of the behaviors laid out above. Because while you're giving the friendship all you've got, your so-called buddy may not value you as highly as you think.

Comments

ASTROGAUTAM said…
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

Popular posts from this blog

No response from someone IS a response

Make no mistake about it: When you don't get a response from someone -- whether they fail to answer your texts or return your phone calls -- it is  still a response, and a powerful one at that. When a person fails to respond, it's a direct reflection of their interest -- or lack thereof -- in the relationship. Few things are more aggravating than having to hound a partner, friend, or relative for some sort of reply after we've reached out to them. Yes, we get busy from time to time, but that doesn't give anyone the right to leave the other person hanging. A terse text with something like "Been busy, will reach out soon" doesn't say much, but at least it shows some effort to bring the other person up to speed on why they've fallen off the radar. Failing to provide a response for weeks -- if not months -- communicates that you are just not a priority, and that you'll have to wait your turn to get this individual's attention. This is n...

Do you have Isolophilia? Find out...

You're probably asking yourself, "What in the world does Isolophilia mean?" It sounds like it would be something negative, doesn't it?  After all, words that end in "philia" (e.g., pedophilia) tend to involve things we want nothing to do with. But Isolophilia isn't something all people deplore. In fact, introverts like me welcome it. Put simply, Isolophilia is defined as having a strong affinity for solitude. It describes a person who relishes being alone. While extroverts can only take so much solitude, we introverts find that it rejuvenates us. In order to recharge our batteries, we need to retreat to a quiet environment where we we're left alone to rest and/or gather our thoughts. Extroverts, on the other hand, become bored and drained when they're alone for a lengthy period of time. Social interaction is the fuel that drives them. So while an extrovert would probably do anything to avoid feelings of Isolophilia in most cases, an...

This will spell the end of your relationship

When asked to think about the most common culprits for a relationship's going south, most people will point to cheating, complacency, and taking one's partner for granted. While these are all valid -- and documented in various posts on this blog -- there are certain habits on the part of partners that may not kill the relationship right away, but cause it to erode more gradually.  Among the most egregious of these is expecting your significant other to be perfect. They pick at your follies any chance they get. Nothing you do is ever good enough. In fact, you will never measure up to an ex, neighbor, or accomplished co-worker.  Perhaps this all sounds a bit familiar.  When you feel as though you're constantly being put under the microscope, it can inflict lasting damage on the relationship and your self-esteem. You're walking on eggshells all the time, praying you don't say or do something that's going to trigger your partner. This is no way to live, let alone ca...