This stresses so many of us out

Many of us become stressed by our inability to control the future.

For example, you may be ruminating night and day about how different things at work will be once your boss retires.

Or maybe you're on edge over the fact that you've only recently gotten into a relationship and you don't know if it's going to work out.

Maybe your spirits are low because you've been looking to buy a house for some time now to no avail.

If there's one certainty in life, it's that life is uncertain.

The only constant in our lives is change.

Rather than sulking about it, we have to roll with the punches.

It doesn't benefit you to fear worst-case scenarios that may never come to pass.

You can plan for the worst, yes. Just don't convince yourself that the worst is actually going to happen because that will only make you into a nervous wreck.

If we do find ourselves in that situation, we deal with it at that point. But agonizing over it in advance will only drain you of your time, physical/emotional energy, and happiness.

But why not consider that good things may come of whatever you're dreading?

For example, your boss leaving may mean new opportunities for you -- if not a promotion, then the chance to work on plum projects that had previously been out of your reach.

If you're in a new relationship, that person may very well be your future bride or groom. If not, the two of you may carry on in a fruitful relationship for many years.

And just because you've been unsuccessful at this point in your search for a new home doesn't mean your fortunes can't change when least expected.

I'd be remiss if I asserted that being overly optimistic was a sure ticket to a happy ending.

There's no question that all of us should be prepared to deal with challenges in this obstacle course we call life.

We won't always get what we want, when we want it.

No matter how hard we may try to prepare for the future, it remains unpredictable. From unexpected deaths to layoffs to family and financial problems, life can be difficult -- and unfair.

Yet, we really have no choice but to deal with it as best as we can. It sounds cliche at this point, but what doesn't kill us really makes us stronger.

A negative posture, however, will only make those future hardships more difficult to overcome.

So if you shouldn't be too positive or too negative, what's the right course of action to take?

It's striving for a middle ground. In other words, looking on the bright side while being mindful that things may get rocky for a while.

Tell yourself that you'll get through it. Remind yourself that it's not the end of the world.

Above all, believe in yourself. You've gotten through tough situations before -- many of which you never saw coming -- and you'll do it again now.

Keep fighting. Stressing over and trying to control the future is an exercise in futility.

Instead, we should aim to make the most of the present, for that we can control. Let things take their course.

Don't try to meet the future before it has even arrived.

No response from someone IS a response

Make no mistake about it: When you don't get a response from someone -- whether they fail to answer your texts or return your phone calls -- it is still a response, and a powerful one at that. When a person fails to respond, it's a direct reflection of their interest -- or lack thereof -- in the relationship. Few things are more aggravating than having to hound a partner, friend, or relative for some sort of reply after we've reached out to them. Yes, we get busy from time to time, but that doesn't give anyone the right to leave the other person hanging. A terse text with something like "Been busy, will reach out soon" doesn't say much, but at least it shows some effort to bring the other person up to speed on why they've fallen off the radar. Failing to provide a response for weeks -- if not months -- communicates that you are just not a priority, and that you'll have to wait your turn to get this individual's attention. This is n...

Do you have Isolophilia? Find out...

You're probably asking yourself, "What in the world does Isolophilia mean?" It sounds like it would be something negative, doesn't it? After all, words that end in "philia" (e.g., pedophilia) tend to involve things we want nothing to do with. But Isolophilia isn't something all people deplore. In fact, introverts like me welcome it. Put simply, Isolophilia is defined as having a strong affinity for solitude. It describes a person who relishes being alone. While extroverts can only take so much solitude, we introverts find that it rejuvenates us. In order to recharge our batteries, we need to retreat to a quiet environment where we we're left alone to rest and/or gather our thoughts. Extroverts, on the other hand, become bored and drained when they're alone for a lengthy period of time. Social interaction is the fuel that drives them. So while an extrovert would probably do anything to avoid feelings of Isolophilia in most cases, an...

This will spell the end of your relationship

When asked to think about the most common culprits for a relationship's going south, most people will point to cheating, complacency, and taking one's partner for granted. While these are all valid -- and documented in various posts on this blog -- there are certain habits on the part of partners that may not kill the relationship right away, but cause it to erode more gradually. Among the most egregious of these is expecting your significant other to be perfect. They pick at your follies any chance they get. Nothing you do is ever good enough. In fact, you will never measure up to an ex, neighbor, or accomplished co-worker. Perhaps this all sounds a bit familiar. When you feel as though you're constantly being put under the microscope, it can inflict lasting damage on the relationship and your self-esteem. You're walking on eggshells all the time, praying you don't say or do something that's going to trigger your partner. This is no way to live, let alone ca...

How To Understand People

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