Let's assume you've been friends with Katie since kindergarten.
Even as innocuous six year olds, you knew you'd be each other's maid of honor.
While time often makes many friendships grow weaker, the two of you remained almost inseparable through college.
Then, gradually, you begin to have sporadic arguments with each other, sometimes over the silliest things.
As relationships and shifting responsibilities chart different paths for you both in your adult life, you start to grow apart.
Once touting yourself as sisters from a different mother, you're now mere acquaintances who may connect via text on special or solemn occasions, like birthdays or the death of a loved one.
Is the scenario described above all that atypical?
Sadly, the answer is no. You've likely experienced it at some point with a friend you have held in high esteem for many years.
While many friendships can bounce back, they may never go back to the way they once were.
But that shouldn't come as a big surprise because, well, relationships evolve -- as do the very people in them.
A friendship may run its course because:
Even as innocuous six year olds, you knew you'd be each other's maid of honor.
While time often makes many friendships grow weaker, the two of you remained almost inseparable through college.
Then, gradually, you begin to have sporadic arguments with each other, sometimes over the silliest things.
As relationships and shifting responsibilities chart different paths for you both in your adult life, you start to grow apart.
Once touting yourself as sisters from a different mother, you're now mere acquaintances who may connect via text on special or solemn occasions, like birthdays or the death of a loved one.
Is the scenario described above all that atypical?
Sadly, the answer is no. You've likely experienced it at some point with a friend you have held in high esteem for many years.
While many friendships can bounce back, they may never go back to the way they once were.
But that shouldn't come as a big surprise because, well, relationships evolve -- as do the very people in them.
A friendship may run its course because:
- Both people have spent an inordinate number of hours together and have little left to talk about anymore.
- Newer friendships begin to supercede older ones.
- The friendship was built on commonalities that no longer exist (e.g., classmates), so the two of you can't relate to each other much these days.
- One or both partners cease to "water the plant" so to speak. And when both partners are not investing in the friendship, it starts to wilt.
Despite a friendship facing these challenges, both people can get it back in working order by, you guessed it, having an honest talk.
But if things don't change, it may be time to accept that the friendship no longer enhances either of your lives and it's time to move on.
That doesn't mean you cannot part ways amicably, cherishing the memories you created together over the years and genuinely wishing one another well.
Most of our friendships will only last a season -- and not an entire lifetime.
For those that do come to an end, you will have learned a host of lessons you can take with you into other/future friendships.
And you never know -- a reconciliation could be a possibility somewhere down the line, though I would not hold my breath.
Comments