Skip to main content

Doing this makes it harder to be happy

Allow me to impart to you this important nugget of wisdom on the pursuit of happiness:

Seeking perfection -- whether in your job or your relationships -- will yield no fruit.

And the reason why is because there's no such thing as the perfect job or relationship.

Sure, one should never remain trapped in a situation that has them feeling drained and utterly miserable. Life is too short for that.

But people who hop from one job or relationship to the other until they found one that meets all their criteria are sure to come up empty.

When it comes to jobs and relationships -- and, more broadly, life itself -- there is just too much that lies outside our control.

In the case of jobs, it's everything from toxic co-workers to economic uncertainty.

The company may go belly-up tomorrow, leaving you in the lurch financially. Your boss, normally a cool, easy-going guy, may become a raging psychopath as he grapples with a bitter divorce.

And as far as relationships, it's all the same.

Your partner may show his true colors once the honeymoon phase peters out, calling into question whether you're even a good match for one another.

And many of the things that endeared you to him in the beginning -- his habit of dozing off on the phone, his tendency to spring the restaurant bill on you at the last minute -- can turn into pet peeves.

There's just no way around it.

Every choice we make has its pros and cons, and it's up to us to decide what we are not willing to put up with.

For example, a workplace rife with bullying and harassment is out of bounds. But perhaps you're willing to accept the long commute offered by a different employer for a robust salary and benefits package.

And maybe your partner isn't as physically attractive as you'd hoped, but her radiant smile, great sense of humor, impressive work ethic, and unbridled humility more than make up for that.

If everything in life were perfect, we would never have to make compromises.

That's why, rather than discounting whatever and whoever we deem as flawed, we should instead gravitate toward options where the pluses clearly outweigh the minuses.

Otherwise, we will continue to fall into the pattern of turning down great opportunities.

And continually seeking something/someone better will, ironically, leave us wholly unsatisfied.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

No response from someone IS a response

Make no mistake about it: When you don't get a response from someone -- whether they fail to answer your texts or return your phone calls -- it is  still a response, and a powerful one at that. When a person fails to respond, it's a direct reflection of their interest -- or lack thereof -- in the relationship. Few things are more aggravating than having to hound a partner, friend, or relative for some sort of reply after we've reached out to them. Yes, we get busy from time to time, but that doesn't give anyone the right to leave the other person hanging. A terse text with something like "Been busy, will reach out soon" doesn't say much, but at least it shows some effort to bring the other person up to speed on why they've fallen off the radar. Failing to provide a response for weeks -- if not months -- communicates that you are just not a priority, and that you'll have to wait your turn to get this individual's attention. This is n...

Do you have Isolophilia? Find out...

You're probably asking yourself, "What in the world does Isolophilia mean?" It sounds like it would be something negative, doesn't it?  After all, words that end in "philia" (e.g., pedophilia) tend to involve things we want nothing to do with. But Isolophilia isn't something all people deplore. In fact, introverts like me welcome it. Put simply, Isolophilia is defined as having a strong affinity for solitude. It describes a person who relishes being alone. While extroverts can only take so much solitude, we introverts find that it rejuvenates us. In order to recharge our batteries, we need to retreat to a quiet environment where we we're left alone to rest and/or gather our thoughts. Extroverts, on the other hand, become bored and drained when they're alone for a lengthy period of time. Social interaction is the fuel that drives them. So while an extrovert would probably do anything to avoid feelings of Isolophilia in most cases, an...

This will spell the end of your relationship

When asked to think about the most common culprits for a relationship's going south, most people will point to cheating, complacency, and taking one's partner for granted. While these are all valid -- and documented in various posts on this blog -- there are certain habits on the part of partners that may not kill the relationship right away, but cause it to erode more gradually.  Among the most egregious of these is expecting your significant other to be perfect. They pick at your follies any chance they get. Nothing you do is ever good enough. In fact, you will never measure up to an ex, neighbor, or accomplished co-worker.  Perhaps this all sounds a bit familiar.  When you feel as though you're constantly being put under the microscope, it can inflict lasting damage on the relationship and your self-esteem. You're walking on eggshells all the time, praying you don't say or do something that's going to trigger your partner. This is no way to live, let alone ca...