Ah, the bumpy, unpredictable world of dating.
Whether we're meeting someone for the first time on a blind date or being fixed up by a mutual friend, dating can sure seem like a labyrinth sometimes!
Not to mention you never really know what to expect.
Some people may turn out to be total weirdos. Others may seem like the complete package, only they're already married and looking for some on the side. Still others, despite appearing to be nice people, are ones we're just not attracted to, no matter how much we try to will ourselves toward liking them more.
In this post, I'd like to share a dating tip that will improve your odds of finding Mr. or Ms. Right.
Ready?
When you're getting to know someone, aim to see them for who they are rather than who you want them to be.
This is easier said than done sometimes during the so-called honeymoon stage in which hormones are raging and stomachs become flooded with butterflies.
But sooner or later, a person's true self comes out, and you'll begin to see those red flags you should not become oblivious to.
Maybe they mention in passing that they'd rather go to jail than get married and have kids (both of which you may desire).
Or perhaps they frequently ask you for money even though they mentioned having a stable job. (What are they spending that money on?)
Look, nobody's perfect. We all grapple with problems and have made mistakes in the past.
But you definitely want to choose someone who owns up to their struggles and is visibly working on improving themselves. Someone with goals and dreams. Someone who is taking steps toward securing a bright future for themselves.
Because if they aren't in that frame of mind, they may simply be looking for someone else -- perhaps you in this case -- to complete them or otherwise fix their problems.
You definitely don't want to end up with someone who's needy, immature, and/or selfish.
And as I've noted in prior posts, staying in the relationship in hopes that they'll change tends to be a losing proposition.
Don't look at potential partners through rose-colored glasses. Everyone puts his or her best foot forward in the beginning, but the overarching questions you must ask yourself are:
Allow things to take their natural course. If it doesn't work out, rest assured that someone much better is out there.
Whether we're meeting someone for the first time on a blind date or being fixed up by a mutual friend, dating can sure seem like a labyrinth sometimes!
Not to mention you never really know what to expect.
Some people may turn out to be total weirdos. Others may seem like the complete package, only they're already married and looking for some on the side. Still others, despite appearing to be nice people, are ones we're just not attracted to, no matter how much we try to will ourselves toward liking them more.
In this post, I'd like to share a dating tip that will improve your odds of finding Mr. or Ms. Right.
Ready?
When you're getting to know someone, aim to see them for who they are rather than who you want them to be.
This is easier said than done sometimes during the so-called honeymoon stage in which hormones are raging and stomachs become flooded with butterflies.
But sooner or later, a person's true self comes out, and you'll begin to see those red flags you should not become oblivious to.
Maybe they mention in passing that they'd rather go to jail than get married and have kids (both of which you may desire).
Or perhaps they frequently ask you for money even though they mentioned having a stable job. (What are they spending that money on?)
Look, nobody's perfect. We all grapple with problems and have made mistakes in the past.
But you definitely want to choose someone who owns up to their struggles and is visibly working on improving themselves. Someone with goals and dreams. Someone who is taking steps toward securing a bright future for themselves.
Because if they aren't in that frame of mind, they may simply be looking for someone else -- perhaps you in this case -- to complete them or otherwise fix their problems.
You definitely don't want to end up with someone who's needy, immature, and/or selfish.
And as I've noted in prior posts, staying in the relationship in hopes that they'll change tends to be a losing proposition.
Don't look at potential partners through rose-colored glasses. Everyone puts his or her best foot forward in the beginning, but the overarching questions you must ask yourself are:
- Whether they'll stick around in times of hardship
- Whether they're genuinely kind, honest, and loyal
- If they'll wish to stay in the relationship once the honeymoon stage concludes
They can ask these very questions of you as well. And if one or both partners decide that the most authentic version of the other person isn't to their liking, it's time to call it quits.
Again, if your gut is telling you that the individual just isn't for you, listen to it.
Don't set unreasonably high expectations of the other person. Don't assume that they will side with you on every issue or share the same hobbies, values, or beliefs.
Allow things to take their natural course. If it doesn't work out, rest assured that someone much better is out there.
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