Why people are obsessed with finding love

My readers often ask me why so many people out there are frenetically searching for love.

Perhaps you have a friend, relative, or co-worker who appears preoccupied with finding "the one."

My pointed response is that the media -- and that includes social media -- plays an integral role.

From dating apps like Tinder and Facebook posts about people professing their love for their partner to stories in the news centering on blissful marriages and a seemingly endless stream of songs about break-ups, society promulgates the following message:

Being with someone is a good thing. Being single is not. If you don't have anyone in your life, it just isn't whole. Something is missing, and you'll only be able to be happy and fill the void once you pair up.

This, of course, is silly.

I have a slew of readers who count themselves among the happily single.

They don't feel empty or broken because they don't have a partner.

On the contrary: Many are relieved that (1) they don't need another person's input when making big decisions (2) that they don't have to share their belongings (3) that they can indulge their hobbies freely, and (4) that they don't have to grapple with drama, break-ups, and all that other relationship jazz.

Granted, there is nothing wrong with wanting to be in a relationship. Having a partner has its fair share of perks -- the most obvious being that you share a tight bond with someone on (ideally) an emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual level.

It's just a real shame that many people feel worthless when they go a long time without hooking up with someone. It does a number on their self-worth, especially when it comes to special occasions like Valentine's Day.

My advice to these folks? Keep your head up.

The first thing to keep in mind is that a partner doesn't complete you. Yes, they can make a wonderful enhancement to your life, but only if you already feel whole without a companion.

If you don't, having someone in your life may heighten feelings of loneliness you may already be experiencing.

A partner shouldn't be expected to make us happy everytime we're down. They shouldn't be counted on to fix our every problem or cater to our every whim. They should not be relied upon to validate all our decisions, let alone think/act as we would in every situation.

Couples in healthy relationships still manage to lead independent lives. They foster different hobbies. They disagree (albeit tactfully) on issues. They find things that make them feel fulfilled outside their relationship, whether it be reading or nature. They're not attached at the hip.

Those who regard relationships as the be-all and end-all are probably not ready for one. Remember, expecting happiness to come from a source outside of oneself is only asking for disappointment.

Love will come into your life when least expected, so dont give up on it. In the meantime, go out there and make the most of your life by doing the things you love.

And never let anyone make you feel bad about being single. If that makes you happy, more power to you!

This will spell the end of your relationship

When asked to think about the most common culprits for a relationship's going south, most people will point to cheating, complacency, and taking one's partner for granted. While these are all valid -- and documented in various posts on this blog -- there are certain habits on the part of partners that may not kill the relationship right away, but cause it to erode more gradually. Among the most egregious of these is expecting your significant other to be perfect. They pick at your follies any chance they get. Nothing you do is ever good enough. In fact, you will never measure up to an ex, neighbor, or accomplished co-worker. Perhaps this all sounds a bit familiar. When you feel as though you're constantly being put under the microscope, it can inflict lasting damage on the relationship and your self-esteem. You're walking on eggshells all the time, praying you don't say or do something that's going to trigger your partner. This is no way to live, let alone ca

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Misconceptions about quiet people

Earlier today, I came across a Facebook page that features motivational quotes intended to improve people's moods and enhance their overall self-esteem. Interestingly, I noticed two quotes that focus specifically on quiet people: "Be afraid of quiet people; they're the ones who actually think." "The quietest people have the loudest minds." I've observed that most people's views of quiet individuals can fall under one of two categories: 1. The ones who say quiet people are antisocial, suspicious, snobbish, and/or full of themselves. 2. The people who say their introspective nature and propensity to be deep in thought makes them smarter than their more garrulous peers. The quotes above speak to this mindset. As an introvert known to be quiet at work and at social functions where I might not know anyone, I feel I'm well positioned to dispel any inaccuracies surrounding quiet folks. First of all, the above statements misguidedly put

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