Skip to main content

Don't let people put you down

Whether it's that they're having a bad day, are mad at you because you made an innocent mistake, or they're just a difficult person by nature, no one has the right to put you down.

If their meltdown is followed by an apology you deem to be sincere, life moves on.

But if you find that these outbursts occur quite frequently, or if the person has a knack for pinning the blame on you when something goes wrong, it's important you stand up for yourself. 

Otherwise, they'll think they have permission to treat you with disrespect. 

Standing up for oneself doesn't mean you have to disparage the individual, firing off expletives, throwing things at them, and essentially stooping to his or level. 

You can be firm and civil at the same time. In fact, you would merely be admonishing on their petty behavior: They should watch their language and tone it down, or there will he consequences.

Such consequences may include reporting them to human resources (if in the workplace), seeking counseling, or terminating the relationship altogether. 

Saying one is having an awful day may fly once or twice, but if the person repeatedly uses that excuse to justify their behavior, they're likely being insincere. 

And tearing into you even after you have apologized for a mistake you've made is cruel, whether it's your boss or an acquaintance. 

Look, we're always going to clash with other people -- there's no way around it.

But rather than resorting to bashing and finger pointing, people should strive to resolve conflicts like adults do -- diplomatically. 

And if they refuse to do so, you should do whatever you can to escape that toxic situation. Find a better job. Pull the plug on the relationship. Walk away with dignity. 

If you treat people with respect, it's only right that they do the same. No one is above anyone else, no matter their title, gender, or political persuasion. 

Don't suffer in silence. No one has permission to invalidate your feelings. 

Check out more great posts here: How to Understand People

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

No response from someone IS a response

Make no mistake about it: When you don't get a response from someone -- whether they fail to answer your texts or return your phone calls -- it is  still a response, and a powerful one at that. When a person fails to respond, it's a direct reflection of their interest -- or lack thereof -- in the relationship. Few things are more aggravating than having to hound a partner, friend, or relative for some sort of reply after we've reached out to them. Yes, we get busy from time to time, but that doesn't give anyone the right to leave the other person hanging. A terse text with something like "Been busy, will reach out soon" doesn't say much, but at least it shows some effort to bring the other person up to speed on why they've fallen off the radar. Failing to provide a response for weeks -- if not months -- communicates that you are just not a priority, and that you'll have to wait your turn to get this individual's attention. This is n...

Do you have Isolophilia? Find out...

You're probably asking yourself, "What in the world does Isolophilia mean?" It sounds like it would be something negative, doesn't it?  After all, words that end in "philia" (e.g., pedophilia) tend to involve things we want nothing to do with. But Isolophilia isn't something all people deplore. In fact, introverts like me welcome it. Put simply, Isolophilia is defined as having a strong affinity for solitude. It describes a person who relishes being alone. While extroverts can only take so much solitude, we introverts find that it rejuvenates us. In order to recharge our batteries, we need to retreat to a quiet environment where we we're left alone to rest and/or gather our thoughts. Extroverts, on the other hand, become bored and drained when they're alone for a lengthy period of time. Social interaction is the fuel that drives them. So while an extrovert would probably do anything to avoid feelings of Isolophilia in most cases, an...

This will spell the end of your relationship

When asked to think about the most common culprits for a relationship's going south, most people will point to cheating, complacency, and taking one's partner for granted. While these are all valid -- and documented in various posts on this blog -- there are certain habits on the part of partners that may not kill the relationship right away, but cause it to erode more gradually.  Among the most egregious of these is expecting your significant other to be perfect. They pick at your follies any chance they get. Nothing you do is ever good enough. In fact, you will never measure up to an ex, neighbor, or accomplished co-worker.  Perhaps this all sounds a bit familiar.  When you feel as though you're constantly being put under the microscope, it can inflict lasting damage on the relationship and your self-esteem. You're walking on eggshells all the time, praying you don't say or do something that's going to trigger your partner. This is no way to live, let alone ca...