Never blame yourself for falling for someone's lies

He promised you he'd always remain loyal to you, but you later discovered he had a girlfriend on the side.

She pledged that she'd always be there for you, in good times and bad ones, but when you recently lost your job, she couldn't be bothered to visit or console you.

We've all been in situations where people we trusted wholeheartedly wound up letting us down in a big way.

Once you realize the individual isn't as great as you thought, you may experience a range of emotions -- from disbelief to anger to utter sadness.

Worst of all, you may be tempted into blaming yourself for what happened.

You may ask yourself a litany of questions such as:

"How could I be so naive?"
"Why didn't I see this coming?"
"Was it something I did or said?"
"How could I have wasted my time and energy in such a heartless person?"

Before you know it, you've beaten yourself silly ruminating about the whys and what ifs.

Do yourself a favor: Stop, take a deep breath, and remind yourself of one important thing: It's all in the past, and there's nothing you can do to change it.

You're no fool for buying into the person's lies. You are just guilty of having a good heart and trying in earnest to see the very best in people.

After this experience, you will emerge wiser in the knowledge that perhaps you shouldn't be so quick to give people the benefit of the doubt.

Maybe you'll sharpen your ability to discern early warning signs of someone's dishonesty and disloyalty, like only surfacing when they need something, or seeming very mysterious about calls and texts they receive from certain people.

Blaming yourself does nothing but lead you down a slippery slope in which anger and sadness potentially give way to anxiety and depression.

It's their loss. They don't know it yet, but someday, someone will do the same to them. Then they'll realize how it feels to be let down like they did to you.

They hurt your feelings, and the last thing they deserve is to be able to maintain a tight grip on your mental and emotional happiness.

Show compassion toward yourself. Going forward, people will have to earn your trust. And once you catch someone in a lie, you're no longer going to assume that it's a one-off thing.

While you shouldn't punish others for what people in the past have done for you, there's no harm in being vigilant and safeguarding your feelings.

Comments

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