A huge key to long-term relationship success

Most people -- male or female, college student or seasoned professional -- would attest to desiring a long-term relationship. Or, if they're already in one, for that relationship to last a long time, if not forever.

Research has shown that a surefire predictor of relationship success is getting to know each other before marriage and/or cohabitation is brought into the conversation.

Now, that's not to say that a relationship won't last if the pair marry or move in with each other speedily after meeting. Chances are, many of us know someone who did just that and they're still with their significant other.

But this is the exception rather than the rule.

It makes complete sense why a couple that chooses not to rush to the alter and/or shack up so quickly has a better chance of seeing their relationship last.

For one, they afford themselves time to really get to know each other. That includes gaining a good grasp on one another's:

Dreams and aspirations
Beliefs and principles
Fears and worries
Good qualities (e.g., kindness, loyalty)
Not-so-good qualities (e.g., messiness, poor spending habits)

When people first meet, there's that honeymoon stage where people see one another as perfect, only because they're doing their best to put their best foot forward and keep their flaws under wraps.

However, only after the honeymoon phase has passed and your true selves are in full view can you really see the person more objectively and decide whether they're someone you picture spending your whole life with.

For example, some couples have gotten married and moved in with each other after only a couple of months, only to realize that their partner kept a few skeletons in the closet -- whether debt problems, a criminal record, or past relationship baggage -- that might have given them second thoughts about moving so quickly.

Commencing a new relationship is arguably one of the most exciting feelings in the world. Your hormones are ranging. Your dopamine levels are surging. You can't stop thinking about each other. When you're together, you can't keep your hands to yourself.

Some couples are literally on cloud nine -- so much so that they wind up making decisions they later come to regret, from not using protection to eloping on a whim.

Getting married and cohabitating with someone are two huge, life-changing steps -- ones that should never be approached blithely.

If a couple insists on doing at least one so early into the relationship, I would advise them to choose the latter, but only if the plan is to rent. You don't want to be wrangling over who gets what should the relationship go down the drain.

If you're dating someone new, there's no need to rush. Have fun. Get to know each other. Don't get so serious so soon. Use the first few months as a "trial run" of sorts.

Rest assured that you'll have enough time to get to the serious stuff, especially when arguments begin to crop up, and little idiosyncrasies you once found cute start to become annoying.

You want to be sure you know exactly who you're trying the knot/living with. There's too much at stake not to.

No response from someone IS a response

Make no mistake about it: When you don't get a response from someone -- whether they fail to answer your texts or return your phone calls -- it is still a response, and a powerful one at that. When a person fails to respond, it's a direct reflection of their interest -- or lack thereof -- in the relationship. Few things are more aggravating than having to hound a partner, friend, or relative for some sort of reply after we've reached out to them. Yes, we get busy from time to time, but that doesn't give anyone the right to leave the other person hanging. A terse text with something like "Been busy, will reach out soon" doesn't say much, but at least it shows some effort to bring the other person up to speed on why they've fallen off the radar. Failing to provide a response for weeks -- if not months -- communicates that you are just not a priority, and that you'll have to wait your turn to get this individual's attention. This is n...

Do you have Isolophilia? Find out...

You're probably asking yourself, "What in the world does Isolophilia mean?" It sounds like it would be something negative, doesn't it? After all, words that end in "philia" (e.g., pedophilia) tend to involve things we want nothing to do with. But Isolophilia isn't something all people deplore. In fact, introverts like me welcome it. Put simply, Isolophilia is defined as having a strong affinity for solitude. It describes a person who relishes being alone. While extroverts can only take so much solitude, we introverts find that it rejuvenates us. In order to recharge our batteries, we need to retreat to a quiet environment where we we're left alone to rest and/or gather our thoughts. Extroverts, on the other hand, become bored and drained when they're alone for a lengthy period of time. Social interaction is the fuel that drives them. So while an extrovert would probably do anything to avoid feelings of Isolophilia in most cases, an...

This will spell the end of your relationship

When asked to think about the most common culprits for a relationship's going south, most people will point to cheating, complacency, and taking one's partner for granted. While these are all valid -- and documented in various posts on this blog -- there are certain habits on the part of partners that may not kill the relationship right away, but cause it to erode more gradually. Among the most egregious of these is expecting your significant other to be perfect. They pick at your follies any chance they get. Nothing you do is ever good enough. In fact, you will never measure up to an ex, neighbor, or accomplished co-worker. Perhaps this all sounds a bit familiar. When you feel as though you're constantly being put under the microscope, it can inflict lasting damage on the relationship and your self-esteem. You're walking on eggshells all the time, praying you don't say or do something that's going to trigger your partner. This is no way to live, let alone ca...

How To Understand People

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