Research has shown that a surefire predictor of relationship success is getting to know each other before marriage and/or cohabitation is brought into the conversation.
Now, that's not to say that a relationship won't last if the pair marry or move in with each other speedily after meeting. Chances are, many of us know someone who did just that and they're still with their significant other.
But this is the exception rather than the rule.
It makes complete sense why a couple that chooses not to rush to the alter and/or shack up so quickly has a better chance of seeing their relationship last.
For one, they afford themselves time to really get to know each other. That includes gaining a good grasp on one another's:
- Dreams and aspirations
- Beliefs and principles
- Fears and worries
- Good qualities (e.g., kindness, loyalty)
- Not-so-good qualities (e.g., messiness, poor spending habits)
When people first meet, there's that honeymoon stage where people see one another as perfect, only because they're doing their best to put their best foot forward and keep their flaws under wraps.
However, only after the honeymoon phase has passed and your true selves are in full view can you really see the person more objectively and decide whether they're someone you picture spending your whole life with.
For example, some couples have gotten married and moved in with each other after only a couple of months, only to realize that their partner kept a few skeletons in the closet -- whether debt problems, a criminal record, or past relationship baggage -- that might have given them second thoughts about moving so quickly.
Commencing a new relationship is arguably one of the most exciting feelings in the world. Your hormones are ranging. Your dopamine levels are surging. You can't stop thinking about each other. When you're together, you can't keep your hands to yourself.
Some couples are literally on cloud nine -- so much so that they wind up making decisions they later come to regret, from not using protection to eloping on a whim.
Getting married and cohabitating with someone are two huge, life-changing steps -- ones that should never be approached blithely.
If a couple insists on doing at least one so early into the relationship, I would advise them to choose the latter, but only if the plan is to rent. You don't want to be wrangling over who gets what should the relationship go down the drain.
If you're dating someone new, there's no need to rush. Have fun. Get to know each other. Don't get so serious so soon. Use the first few months as a "trial run" of sorts.
Rest assured that you'll have enough time to get to the serious stuff, especially when arguments begin to crop up, and little idiosyncrasies you once found cute start to become annoying.
You want to be sure you know exactly who you're trying the knot/living with. There's too much at stake not to.
For example, some couples have gotten married and moved in with each other after only a couple of months, only to realize that their partner kept a few skeletons in the closet -- whether debt problems, a criminal record, or past relationship baggage -- that might have given them second thoughts about moving so quickly.
Commencing a new relationship is arguably one of the most exciting feelings in the world. Your hormones are ranging. Your dopamine levels are surging. You can't stop thinking about each other. When you're together, you can't keep your hands to yourself.
Some couples are literally on cloud nine -- so much so that they wind up making decisions they later come to regret, from not using protection to eloping on a whim.
Getting married and cohabitating with someone are two huge, life-changing steps -- ones that should never be approached blithely.
If a couple insists on doing at least one so early into the relationship, I would advise them to choose the latter, but only if the plan is to rent. You don't want to be wrangling over who gets what should the relationship go down the drain.
If you're dating someone new, there's no need to rush. Have fun. Get to know each other. Don't get so serious so soon. Use the first few months as a "trial run" of sorts.
Rest assured that you'll have enough time to get to the serious stuff, especially when arguments begin to crop up, and little idiosyncrasies you once found cute start to become annoying.
You want to be sure you know exactly who you're trying the knot/living with. There's too much at stake not to.
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