THIS is crucial for a long, happy relationship

In order to ensure a long-lasting relationship, it's imperative that both people let their true selves come out from day one.

Imagine your partner falling in love with a phony version of yourself you've been projecting just to impress them, whether it be a filthy rich playboy or bookish intellectual.

Now picture yourself being head over heels for someone who's been dishonest about their personality, life goals, and hobbies. This seemingly wonderful person whom you thought you knew so well is more like a stranger.

Wouldn't you want them drawn to the most authentic version of you? Otherwise, the other person will be with you for who they think you are, which could be an entirely different person.

One's true colors come out sooner or later. Putting on a facade might help you in the short-term (e.g., you appear more confident or spontaneous), but eventually the real you will be thrown into sharp relief, and the other person may not be keen on sticking around -- especially if they feel hurt or lied to.

Now, things are a little different when two people first meet. They're each trying to look their best, so some of their less-appealing qualities may remain hidden for some time.

There's a stark contrast between trying to put your best foot forward and radically changing yourself to gain someone's favor.

When you commence a relationship by misrepresenting who you are -- whether on a blind date or through a dating site -- it only means it's days are already numbered.

If all someone is looking for is a fun no-strings-attached romp, then faking their personality may actually work wonders. But if true love is what they're after, it's a completely different ballgame.

Rather than pretending to be someone you're not just to score points with someone, be genuine so that the right person takes notice.

The more you pretend to be someone you're not, the more opportunities you miss to meet and couple up with people with whom you may have great chemistry.

Always let the real you shine through!

Comments

This will spell the end of your relationship

When asked to think about the most common culprits for a relationship's going south, most people will point to cheating, complacency, and taking one's partner for granted. While these are all valid -- and documented in various posts on this blog -- there are certain habits on the part of partners that may not kill the relationship right away, but cause it to erode more gradually. Among the most egregious of these is expecting your significant other to be perfect. They pick at your follies any chance they get. Nothing you do is ever good enough. In fact, you will never measure up to an ex, neighbor, or accomplished co-worker. Perhaps this all sounds a bit familiar. When you feel as though you're constantly being put under the microscope, it can inflict lasting damage on the relationship and your self-esteem. You're walking on eggshells all the time, praying you don't say or do something that's going to trigger your partner. This is no way to live, let alone ca

No response from someone IS a response

Make no mistake about it: When you don't get a response from someone -- whether they fail to answer your texts or return your phone calls -- it is still a response, and a powerful one at that. When a person fails to respond, it's a direct reflection of their interest -- or lack thereof -- in the relationship. Few things are more aggravating than having to hound a partner, friend, or relative for some sort of reply after we've reached out to them. Yes, we get busy from time to time, but that doesn't give anyone the right to leave the other person hanging. A terse text with something like "Been busy, will reach out soon" doesn't say much, but at least it shows some effort to bring the other person up to speed on why they've fallen off the radar. Failing to provide a response for weeks -- if not months -- communicates that you are just not a priority, and that you'll have to wait your turn to get this individual's attention. This is n

Misconceptions about quiet people

Earlier today, I came across a Facebook page that features motivational quotes intended to improve people's moods and enhance their overall self-esteem. Interestingly, I noticed two quotes that focus specifically on quiet people: "Be afraid of quiet people; they're the ones who actually think." "The quietest people have the loudest minds." I've observed that most people's views of quiet individuals can fall under one of two categories: 1. The ones who say quiet people are antisocial, suspicious, snobbish, and/or full of themselves. 2. The people who say their introspective nature and propensity to be deep in thought makes them smarter than their more garrulous peers. The quotes above speak to this mindset. As an introvert known to be quiet at work and at social functions where I might not know anyone, I feel I'm well positioned to dispel any inaccuracies surrounding quiet folks. First of all, the above statements misguidedly put

Understand People

Search This Blog