Skip to main content

Never make excuses for someone who mistreats you

Whether it's a cheating spouse, a friend who takes you for granted, or a coworker who stabs you in the back whenever you're not present, no one should make excuses for another person's unsavory behavior.

 If the person is making a genuine effort to clean up their act, that's one thing.

But if they pledge they're going to change, and yet you catch them pulling the same stunts over and over again, they're making a mockery of your compassion.

At that point, you have to decide whether to continue giving them the benefit of the doubt, or calling it quits once and for all.

It isn't as easy to walk when you're dealing with a coworker and you wish to keep your job. In that case, you may consider asking for a transfer or moving to a cubicle further away from the individual.

You might also think twice about ending the friendship if you each have mutual friends. You may worry that he or she will talk smack to the others about you (if they haven't already), possibly putting those friendships in jeopardy as well.

But if they're really your friends, they'll wish to remain friends without picking sides, and they'll have no problem arranging meetings that don't involve the troublesome friend.

And don't even think about blaming yourself!

I don't care what kind of relationship it is: new or old, friendly or romantic, exciting or dull.

No one deserves to be treated like garbage, even if they made mistakes that may have rankled the other person. It's not your fault, so don't act as if you brought it on yourself.

Could you have behaved differently? Absolutely. But in a healthy relationship, people don't play games of tit for tat. They don't seek revenge on one another. They discuss and work through their issues like civilized adults.

If someone is adversely affecting your health -- causing you to feel depressed or anxious -- it's time to take action. You wouldn't want the situation to turn violent/abusive, so get out of it sooner rather than later!

Sadly, many people will assure you that they will change, but in the end, their intentions aren't pure -- and chances are they never will be.

The point bears repeating: Be careful who you trust. Don't let anyone become comfortable with the idea of treating you poorly. Stand up for yourself and assert your right to be treated respectfully.

If he or she refuses to learn from their mistakes, that's not your problem. They will have to learn the hard way that people's feelings are not to be trifled with.
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

No response from someone IS a response

Make no mistake about it: When you don't get a response from someone -- whether they fail to answer your texts or return your phone calls -- it is  still a response, and a powerful one at that. When a person fails to respond, it's a direct reflection of their interest -- or lack thereof -- in the relationship. Few things are more aggravating than having to hound a partner, friend, or relative for some sort of reply after we've reached out to them. Yes, we get busy from time to time, but that doesn't give anyone the right to leave the other person hanging. A terse text with something like "Been busy, will reach out soon" doesn't say much, but at least it shows some effort to bring the other person up to speed on why they've fallen off the radar. Failing to provide a response for weeks -- if not months -- communicates that you are just not a priority, and that you'll have to wait your turn to get this individual's attention. This is n...
6 comments
Read more

Do you have Isolophilia? Find out...

You're probably asking yourself, "What in the world does Isolophilia mean?" It sounds like it would be something negative, doesn't it?  After all, words that end in "philia" (e.g., pedophilia) tend to involve things we want nothing to do with. But Isolophilia isn't something all people deplore. In fact, introverts like me welcome it. Put simply, Isolophilia is defined as having a strong affinity for solitude. It describes a person who relishes being alone. While extroverts can only take so much solitude, we introverts find that it rejuvenates us. In order to recharge our batteries, we need to retreat to a quiet environment where we we're left alone to rest and/or gather our thoughts. Extroverts, on the other hand, become bored and drained when they're alone for a lengthy period of time. Social interaction is the fuel that drives them. So while an extrovert would probably do anything to avoid feelings of Isolophilia in most cases, an...
6 comments
Read more

This will spell the end of your relationship

When asked to think about the most common culprits for a relationship's going south, most people will point to cheating, complacency, and taking one's partner for granted. While these are all valid -- and documented in various posts on this blog -- there are certain habits on the part of partners that may not kill the relationship right away, but cause it to erode more gradually.  Among the most egregious of these is expecting your significant other to be perfect. They pick at your follies any chance they get. Nothing you do is ever good enough. In fact, you will never measure up to an ex, neighbor, or accomplished co-worker.  Perhaps this all sounds a bit familiar.  When you feel as though you're constantly being put under the microscope, it can inflict lasting damage on the relationship and your self-esteem. You're walking on eggshells all the time, praying you don't say or do something that's going to trigger your partner. This is no way to live, let alone ca...
Post a Comment
Read more