How to know if someone REALLY cares

How do you know if someone you hold in high esteem really feels the same way about you?

What's a surefire way to tell whether they're in for the long haul, or if they'll disappear when least expected?

Let them see you at your worst -- with health issues, money woes, and problems at home or work.

Allow them to see you racked with self-doubt, anxiety, or depression.

If, despite all this, they choose to stand by you, then you know they genuinely care about you.

Those who bolt at the first sign of hardship aren't true friends or loving partners. They're likely in the relationship for selfish reasons, though they might try to create the opposite impression.

Obviously, we should never take on the role of savior for anyone, as they're responsible for solving their problems on their own.

Still, if we truly value the individual, what kind of a friend or partner would we be to abandon them in their time of greatest need?

At the same time, those who only seem to pop up in our lives for weddings, birthdays, and other happy occasions -- but never when we yearn for their support during tough times -- are not worth it.

As I've argued in prior posts, people may profess to care about you. But if their actions don't back up those words, these individuals are being disingenuous.

Caring isn't merely a word. It's an action.

If the other person isn't as committed as you are, they may assume that they don't have to be there to lend a hand or ear when needed.

You might still decide to help them out when, say, you get an unexpected text asking for money or advice. It speaks to your kind, giving nature.

But if it's evident that your well-being is never top of mind for this person, you may decide that your time and energy will be better spent with people who would be happy to give you theirs.

In conclusion, someone who truly cares will want to be there for you in good times and bad ones, through thick and thin. If they fail to display any kind of sympathy for your plight, yet they expect you to scratch their back, then they're users -- hypocritical ones at that.

Comments

Anonymous said…

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

December 2, 2019 at 2:29 AM

No response from someone IS a response

Make no mistake about it: When you don't get a response from someone -- whether they fail to answer your texts or return your phone calls -- it is still a response, and a powerful one at that. When a person fails to respond, it's a direct reflection of their interest -- or lack thereof -- in the relationship. Few things are more aggravating than having to hound a partner, friend, or relative for some sort of reply after we've reached out to them. Yes, we get busy from time to time, but that doesn't give anyone the right to leave the other person hanging. A terse text with something like "Been busy, will reach out soon" doesn't say much, but at least it shows some effort to bring the other person up to speed on why they've fallen off the radar. Failing to provide a response for weeks -- if not months -- communicates that you are just not a priority, and that you'll have to wait your turn to get this individual's attention. This is n...

Do you have Isolophilia? Find out...

You're probably asking yourself, "What in the world does Isolophilia mean?" It sounds like it would be something negative, doesn't it? After all, words that end in "philia" (e.g., pedophilia) tend to involve things we want nothing to do with. But Isolophilia isn't something all people deplore. In fact, introverts like me welcome it. Put simply, Isolophilia is defined as having a strong affinity for solitude. It describes a person who relishes being alone. While extroverts can only take so much solitude, we introverts find that it rejuvenates us. In order to recharge our batteries, we need to retreat to a quiet environment where we we're left alone to rest and/or gather our thoughts. Extroverts, on the other hand, become bored and drained when they're alone for a lengthy period of time. Social interaction is the fuel that drives them. So while an extrovert would probably do anything to avoid feelings of Isolophilia in most cases, an...

This will spell the end of your relationship

When asked to think about the most common culprits for a relationship's going south, most people will point to cheating, complacency, and taking one's partner for granted. While these are all valid -- and documented in various posts on this blog -- there are certain habits on the part of partners that may not kill the relationship right away, but cause it to erode more gradually. Among the most egregious of these is expecting your significant other to be perfect. They pick at your follies any chance they get. Nothing you do is ever good enough. In fact, you will never measure up to an ex, neighbor, or accomplished co-worker. Perhaps this all sounds a bit familiar. When you feel as though you're constantly being put under the microscope, it can inflict lasting damage on the relationship and your self-esteem. You're walking on eggshells all the time, praying you don't say or do something that's going to trigger your partner. This is no way to live, let alone ca...

How To Understand People

Search This Blog