Cheating represents the ultimate betrayal of one's trust. You give someone your heart, only to see it crushed by your partner's selfish, deplorable act.
Cheaters can try to justify their behavior in a million ways, even though nothing in the world could excuse their infidelity.
They might pin the blame on:
- Problems within their relationship
- Heavy drinking
- Stress at work
- The other person ("they seduced me")
- Other factors they claim to have been out of control
Yet, one of the key reasons people cheat in the first place is because they feel they won't get caught.
They tell themselves that they'll keep it to themselves, rationalizing that what their partner doesn't know can't hurt them. They get away scot free, and their partner carries on thinking they've both been completely faithful.
It's a win-win!
No, I'll tell you what it is: Selfishness at its core. Wanting the cake, and wanting to eat it too.
It's being indifferent to your significant other's feelings -- someone who has placed their trust in you.
Many cheaters fail to consider if they'd like the same to be done to them. The answer is obviously no, which is why the thought conveniently fails to cross their mind.
If there are problems in the relationship, you don't drown your sorrows by getting your rocks off with another man or woman.
You talk things through and try to work at solutions. If you feel neglected, let your partner know. If you sense you're being taken for granted, open an honest dialog about it.
Chances are, your partner may not even realize you feel this way and will put forth the effort to get the relationship on sound footing again.
And if someone's reasons for contemplating cheating on their partner have nothing to do with their relationship (e.g., a low self-esteem, a toxic work environment, drinking or drug problems, etc.), those are matters that must be addressed, especially if they put their partner in harm's way.
Cheating is a cowardly way of trying to escape one's problems.
And let's not forget that cheating doesn't have to be physical in nature.
Merely confiding secrets (whether about yourself or your relationship) to someone other than your partner can be construed as emotional cheating.
Some may wonder whether they have, in fact, been unfaithful.
To them I say this: If there's anything you've done with someone else that you'd feel uncomfortable admitting to your partner, it's probably cheating.
Being cheated on can be devastating, which is why I encourage everyone against committing to another person unless they're absolutely certain they can remain loyal.
And if the urge to cheat becomes too great to resist, they should end the relationship so that their partner has the opportunity to move on and find someone they deserve.
Sadly, for some people, selfishness overrides virtues like fairness and empathy. They may later regret their mistake, but once trust is destroyed, the relationship usually goes with it.
Comments
I disagree with the cheating being "selfishness". Trust is broken but it's not necessary the cheater to be blamed, in a couple there is 2 people involved.
When you have been neglected for so long and you have tried many times to communicate your needs and it failed, cheating emotionally becomes a possibility.
I am not saying it's the way to go but we are creature with a need for connection, if that connection is broken, we look for that connection somewhere else.