Should exes get back together?

Breakups can be unexpected and emotionally taxing.

But every now and then, two former partners decide it give it another shot.

The pair may very well feel that they're happier together, having realized during their time apart that their lives aren't as rich without the other person.

Perhaps they tried dating a few others beforehand but none could hold a candle to their old flame.

Friends or relatives of the two considering reuniting may advise against the move, claiming it's a train wreck waiting to happen.

Others may be a little bit more sanguine about their prospects, possibly intimating that they never felt the lovebirds should part ways.

The reason why they broke up in the first place should always be factored in.

For example, if someone cheated, can the other person really trust them? Similarly, if someone broke things off because, say, they needed space, or for undisclosed reasons, who's to say they won't do it again?

Partners have every right to guard their feelings. If deep down they sense that they should leave the relationship behind them and move on, they should listen to their instincts.

Going through with it against their gut could mean sparks will fly right out of the gate.

They may accuse each other of being "the same person" they were before, pass judgment on each other left and right, and possibly double down on their jealousies and insecurities.

Who wants to be in so chaotic a relationship? Let it go!

On the other hand, if during their time apart both people did some serious soul-searching and worked on correcting those character traits their partner perceived as flaws or bad habits/annoyances, then they definitely have a chance.

But I can't stress this enough: Both people have to be disposed toward mending the relationship or it will never get off the ground this time.

If one or both continue their selfish or cheating ways, there's no point whatsoever in getting back together. And if any wishes to reunite simply to cure feelings of loneliness, they're plunging down a rabbit hole, to be sure.

Don't force anything that doesn't feel right. Someone better may be waiting in the offing, so don't lose hope or patience!

Comments

No response from someone IS a response

Make no mistake about it: When you don't get a response from someone -- whether they fail to answer your texts or return your phone calls -- it is still a response, and a powerful one at that. When a person fails to respond, it's a direct reflection of their interest -- or lack thereof -- in the relationship. Few things are more aggravating than having to hound a partner, friend, or relative for some sort of reply after we've reached out to them. Yes, we get busy from time to time, but that doesn't give anyone the right to leave the other person hanging. A terse text with something like "Been busy, will reach out soon" doesn't say much, but at least it shows some effort to bring the other person up to speed on why they've fallen off the radar. Failing to provide a response for weeks -- if not months -- communicates that you are just not a priority, and that you'll have to wait your turn to get this individual's attention. This is n...

Do you have Isolophilia? Find out...

You're probably asking yourself, "What in the world does Isolophilia mean?" It sounds like it would be something negative, doesn't it? After all, words that end in "philia" (e.g., pedophilia) tend to involve things we want nothing to do with. But Isolophilia isn't something all people deplore. In fact, introverts like me welcome it. Put simply, Isolophilia is defined as having a strong affinity for solitude. It describes a person who relishes being alone. While extroverts can only take so much solitude, we introverts find that it rejuvenates us. In order to recharge our batteries, we need to retreat to a quiet environment where we we're left alone to rest and/or gather our thoughts. Extroverts, on the other hand, become bored and drained when they're alone for a lengthy period of time. Social interaction is the fuel that drives them. So while an extrovert would probably do anything to avoid feelings of Isolophilia in most cases, an...

This will spell the end of your relationship

When asked to think about the most common culprits for a relationship's going south, most people will point to cheating, complacency, and taking one's partner for granted. While these are all valid -- and documented in various posts on this blog -- there are certain habits on the part of partners that may not kill the relationship right away, but cause it to erode more gradually. Among the most egregious of these is expecting your significant other to be perfect. They pick at your follies any chance they get. Nothing you do is ever good enough. In fact, you will never measure up to an ex, neighbor, or accomplished co-worker. Perhaps this all sounds a bit familiar. When you feel as though you're constantly being put under the microscope, it can inflict lasting damage on the relationship and your self-esteem. You're walking on eggshells all the time, praying you don't say or do something that's going to trigger your partner. This is no way to live, let alone ca...

How To Understand People

Search This Blog