Relationships suffer when people do THIS

Relationships are diminished when partners get into the habit of making assumptions.

People say facetiously that when you assume, you "make an ass out of you and me."

Rather than make assumptions, people should:

Find the courage to ask questions, even tough ones.
Openly express their needs, wants, and feelings.
Communicate as clearly as possible so as to avoid drama and bickering.
Resist the urge to pretend to know what the other individual is thinking.

Making assumptions falls into the same category as playing games.

If you don't know how your partner feels on a given issue, just ask. If asking doesn't yield answers, then there are definite communication problems that need addressing.

In a healthy relationship, partners are glad to bounce ideas off one another and work together to arrive at solutions to problems in the relationship.

Without a strong system of communication in place, partners may potentially distrust one another, leading to endless arguments that will do nothing but undermine the relationship.

Partners won't always agree, and spats are sure to arise every now and then.

But no partner likes the other to think for them. Assuming we know what and how the other feels demonstrates that communication is being inhibited, with both people not feeling at ease to put such emotions on the table.

If a relationship is going to last, people cannot assume anything. They should go to the source and pick his or her brain; they should ask them what's in their heart.

Partners should thus serve as emotional outlets for one another. Vent and open up without becoming hostile. That's what being in a relationship is all about.

Once you've cleared the air, the two of you are bound to feel better. The only way to cement trust and intimacy is by remaining communicative. But making assumptions will only work against you in the long run.

Comments

This will spell the end of your relationship

When asked to think about the most common culprits for a relationship's going south, most people will point to cheating, complacency, and taking one's partner for granted. While these are all valid -- and documented in various posts on this blog -- there are certain habits on the part of partners that may not kill the relationship right away, but cause it to erode more gradually. Among the most egregious of these is expecting your significant other to be perfect. They pick at your follies any chance they get. Nothing you do is ever good enough. In fact, you will never measure up to an ex, neighbor, or accomplished co-worker. Perhaps this all sounds a bit familiar. When you feel as though you're constantly being put under the microscope, it can inflict lasting damage on the relationship and your self-esteem. You're walking on eggshells all the time, praying you don't say or do something that's going to trigger your partner. This is no way to live, let alone ca

No response from someone IS a response

Make no mistake about it: When you don't get a response from someone -- whether they fail to answer your texts or return your phone calls -- it is still a response, and a powerful one at that. When a person fails to respond, it's a direct reflection of their interest -- or lack thereof -- in the relationship. Few things are more aggravating than having to hound a partner, friend, or relative for some sort of reply after we've reached out to them. Yes, we get busy from time to time, but that doesn't give anyone the right to leave the other person hanging. A terse text with something like "Been busy, will reach out soon" doesn't say much, but at least it shows some effort to bring the other person up to speed on why they've fallen off the radar. Failing to provide a response for weeks -- if not months -- communicates that you are just not a priority, and that you'll have to wait your turn to get this individual's attention. This is n

Misconceptions about quiet people

Earlier today, I came across a Facebook page that features motivational quotes intended to improve people's moods and enhance their overall self-esteem. Interestingly, I noticed two quotes that focus specifically on quiet people: "Be afraid of quiet people; they're the ones who actually think." "The quietest people have the loudest minds." I've observed that most people's views of quiet individuals can fall under one of two categories: 1. The ones who say quiet people are antisocial, suspicious, snobbish, and/or full of themselves. 2. The people who say their introspective nature and propensity to be deep in thought makes them smarter than their more garrulous peers. The quotes above speak to this mindset. As an introvert known to be quiet at work and at social functions where I might not know anyone, I feel I'm well positioned to dispel any inaccuracies surrounding quiet folks. First of all, the above statements misguidedly put

Understand People

Search This Blog