The best way to appreciate someone is...

What would you say is the best way to appreciate someone special in your life?

It can be done with one simple mental exercise:

Just imagine your life without that person.

Maybe you picture them in the arms of another man or woman. Does it make you jealous or angry?

Or you dream up a world in which the two of you never even met. Does it make you sad?

If these scenarios induce feelings of jealousy, anger, or sadness, it's clear you care deeply for the person in question. If they don't, it raises serious questions about how invested you are emotionally.

Between work, kids, chores, and other items on our interminably long To Do Lists, some of us may take our partner for granted without even realizing it.

As a result, he or she may feel as if their needs aren't being met and their voice isn't being heard. The longer this goes on, the more likely the person is to become fed up and walk -- that is, unless both people have a serious heart-to-heart.

Studies show that the feeling of losing is far more powerful to us than the feeling of gaining.

It stems in part from the fact that people hold an intense desire for that which they can't have or may not be able to keep.

There's always an adrenaline rush that accompanies having something new in your life, but over time, that novelty wears off and you grow accustomed to it, whether it's your car, watch, or, yes, your relationship.

That's why it's important every now and then to imagine scenarios that would never want to come to fruition.

What if someone close to you passes away, moves to another state, or walks out of the relationship because they feel they're being brushed aside?

Taking someone for granted is a surefire recipe for disaster, much like selfishness and infidelity.

Chances are someone has done it to you, and the pain can at times feel unbearable.

We can never assume that, no matter what little attention we pay someone. they will always stay. Once the person has had enough, they will move on to someone whom they feel values their presence.

A relationship can only survive if both people are committed to meeting one another's needs. And only by maintaining the lines of communication open can that be attained.

In sum, it doesn't hurt to imagine not having your partner in your life. If they truly mean a lot to you, such thoughts might prompt you to hug them and express how grateful you are for the myriad ways they enrich your life.

Comments

No response from someone IS a response

Make no mistake about it: When you don't get a response from someone -- whether they fail to answer your texts or return your phone calls -- it is still a response, and a powerful one at that. When a person fails to respond, it's a direct reflection of their interest -- or lack thereof -- in the relationship. Few things are more aggravating than having to hound a partner, friend, or relative for some sort of reply after we've reached out to them. Yes, we get busy from time to time, but that doesn't give anyone the right to leave the other person hanging. A terse text with something like "Been busy, will reach out soon" doesn't say much, but at least it shows some effort to bring the other person up to speed on why they've fallen off the radar. Failing to provide a response for weeks -- if not months -- communicates that you are just not a priority, and that you'll have to wait your turn to get this individual's attention. This is n...

Do you have Isolophilia? Find out...

You're probably asking yourself, "What in the world does Isolophilia mean?" It sounds like it would be something negative, doesn't it? After all, words that end in "philia" (e.g., pedophilia) tend to involve things we want nothing to do with. But Isolophilia isn't something all people deplore. In fact, introverts like me welcome it. Put simply, Isolophilia is defined as having a strong affinity for solitude. It describes a person who relishes being alone. While extroverts can only take so much solitude, we introverts find that it rejuvenates us. In order to recharge our batteries, we need to retreat to a quiet environment where we we're left alone to rest and/or gather our thoughts. Extroverts, on the other hand, become bored and drained when they're alone for a lengthy period of time. Social interaction is the fuel that drives them. So while an extrovert would probably do anything to avoid feelings of Isolophilia in most cases, an...

This will spell the end of your relationship

When asked to think about the most common culprits for a relationship's going south, most people will point to cheating, complacency, and taking one's partner for granted. While these are all valid -- and documented in various posts on this blog -- there are certain habits on the part of partners that may not kill the relationship right away, but cause it to erode more gradually. Among the most egregious of these is expecting your significant other to be perfect. They pick at your follies any chance they get. Nothing you do is ever good enough. In fact, you will never measure up to an ex, neighbor, or accomplished co-worker. Perhaps this all sounds a bit familiar. When you feel as though you're constantly being put under the microscope, it can inflict lasting damage on the relationship and your self-esteem. You're walking on eggshells all the time, praying you don't say or do something that's going to trigger your partner. This is no way to live, let alone ca...

How To Understand People

Search This Blog