When one person doesn't care for you...

Just because someone in your life doesn't care for you -- or disingenuously says they do, but never shows it -- doesn't mean you should forget about the special people in your life who demonstrably hold you in high esteem.

As a matter of fact, it should make you more grateful for the latter than you were before.

We've all found ourselves in situations where people we care deeply about don't seem to reciprocate such feelings.

Perhaps it's a partner who wants out of the relationship, or a friend who has been taking you for granted.

We become so obsessed with trying to rationalize their motives that we may neglect the wonderful people in our lives who have been there for us when we've needed them.

In other words, we want what we can't have, and risk losing what we already have.

Let's face it. People who genuinely care for us would never put us through such hoops.

If someone treats you as disposable -- telegraphing that they have much bigger fish to fry than you -- do not stick around hoping they'll change.

Instead, save your energy for those friends, relatives, and love interests who never fail to see your worth -- the ones who view you as an enhancement to their lives much like you recognize they are one to yours (hopefully).

Let's compare people to jobs for a moment. You may perceive a certain job as being a good fit. You do everything right -- from writing thank you letters to providing killer work samples to demonstrating during the interview how you conducted extensive research on the company in advance of the meeting.

Will all of this land you the job definitively?

Of course not, much like doing all the right things on a date -- holding doors, being friendly, and so on -- will not guarantee a second one.

Never take rejection personally. Instead, bounce back from the experience by spending time with those who will quickly put you in a better mood -- the ones who ultimately are worth your time because they appreciate the value you bring to their lives.

Some people may be going through a tough stretch right now and will eventually come around, though you shouldn't hold your breath.

Or, they may just fail to realize how much brighter you make their lives. Once they awaken from their slumber, you may decide that the relationship is no longer worth trying to sustain, as your trust in them may very well be in tatters at that point.

As I've stressed previously, life isn't about what happens to you. It's about how you respond to such circumstances. Are you really going to let one person have that much power over you?

Don't let one person spoil your life, and don't let them sour your relationships with others. If you give people who care for you the cold shoulder, you're essentially shadowing the behavior of the individual you're pining for.

Do yourself a favor and cut from your life those people who consider you an option rather than a priority.

No response from someone IS a response

Make no mistake about it: When you don't get a response from someone -- whether they fail to answer your texts or return your phone calls -- it is still a response, and a powerful one at that. When a person fails to respond, it's a direct reflection of their interest -- or lack thereof -- in the relationship. Few things are more aggravating than having to hound a partner, friend, or relative for some sort of reply after we've reached out to them. Yes, we get busy from time to time, but that doesn't give anyone the right to leave the other person hanging. A terse text with something like "Been busy, will reach out soon" doesn't say much, but at least it shows some effort to bring the other person up to speed on why they've fallen off the radar. Failing to provide a response for weeks -- if not months -- communicates that you are just not a priority, and that you'll have to wait your turn to get this individual's attention. This is n...

Do you have Isolophilia? Find out...

You're probably asking yourself, "What in the world does Isolophilia mean?" It sounds like it would be something negative, doesn't it? After all, words that end in "philia" (e.g., pedophilia) tend to involve things we want nothing to do with. But Isolophilia isn't something all people deplore. In fact, introverts like me welcome it. Put simply, Isolophilia is defined as having a strong affinity for solitude. It describes a person who relishes being alone. While extroverts can only take so much solitude, we introverts find that it rejuvenates us. In order to recharge our batteries, we need to retreat to a quiet environment where we we're left alone to rest and/or gather our thoughts. Extroverts, on the other hand, become bored and drained when they're alone for a lengthy period of time. Social interaction is the fuel that drives them. So while an extrovert would probably do anything to avoid feelings of Isolophilia in most cases, an...

This will spell the end of your relationship

When asked to think about the most common culprits for a relationship's going south, most people will point to cheating, complacency, and taking one's partner for granted. While these are all valid -- and documented in various posts on this blog -- there are certain habits on the part of partners that may not kill the relationship right away, but cause it to erode more gradually. Among the most egregious of these is expecting your significant other to be perfect. They pick at your follies any chance they get. Nothing you do is ever good enough. In fact, you will never measure up to an ex, neighbor, or accomplished co-worker. Perhaps this all sounds a bit familiar. When you feel as though you're constantly being put under the microscope, it can inflict lasting damage on the relationship and your self-esteem. You're walking on eggshells all the time, praying you don't say or do something that's going to trigger your partner. This is no way to live, let alone ca...

How To Understand People

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