Skip to main content

What effect does seeing people a lot have on us?

There are certain people in our lives whom we see on a daily basis, or thereabouts -- from our coworkers to the mailman to our partner.

But just what effect does seeing these individuals every day have on us? Do they become more endearing to us over time, or do we eventually grow tired of seeing them?

While the dynamics of the relationship comes into play (e.g., a toxic vs. caring boss, a fruitful marriage vs. a lousy one), the answer, according to social psychology, is both.

 In the 1960s, Robert Zajonc coined and demonstrated the mere exposure effect. As the name implies, mere exposure creates a positive bias toward a stimulus.

The effect explains why you might find yourself humming a song you loathed the first time you heard it.

The propinquity effect is the mere-exposure effect when applied to social contexts. In other words, we become friends with people in terms of functional or spatial proximity. In one study, residents of an apartment building were four times more likely to have close friends living right next door than down the hall.

Moreover, both effects can explain why:

  • We can gradually become creatures of routine, always taking the same route to and from work.
  • We like to hang on to old shoes or cars. 
  • Many of us like to stay in the same job for a long time. 
  • The more we hang out with people, the more they seem to grow on us. 
  • We grow to like certain shows, movies, or foods that may not have struck our fancy initially.
  • The lack of physical proximity spells the end of so many friends and relationships. 

However, recent studies demonstrate that prolonged exposure takes us past a boredom threshold and actually reverses the mere-exposure effect. Eventually, you reach a point where a commercial or song really does start to get on your nerves.

Does this mean we're all doomed to get bored of the people in our lives -- friends, partners, and co-workers alike -- sooner or later?

Not at all.

What it means us that we must actively aim to enliven such relationships with variety.

And we can do that by exploring new destinations, checking out new restaurants, taking up new hobbies, watching new Netflix shows, and finding other ways to keep things, well, fresh.

The more new things people can share with one another, the richer their bond will be. Routine, however, coupled with an unwillingness to infuse spontaneity into said relationships, will likely make us tired of the "same old, same old."

When people complain of being bored, all it takes is a push into new terrain -- whether it be planning a trip, getting a dog, or deciding to learn a new language -- to reinvigorate their lives and add new fire to their relationships.
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

No response from someone IS a response

Make no mistake about it: When you don't get a response from someone -- whether they fail to answer your texts or return your phone calls -- it is  still a response, and a powerful one at that. When a person fails to respond, it's a direct reflection of their interest -- or lack thereof -- in the relationship. Few things are more aggravating than having to hound a partner, friend, or relative for some sort of reply after we've reached out to them. Yes, we get busy from time to time, but that doesn't give anyone the right to leave the other person hanging. A terse text with something like "Been busy, will reach out soon" doesn't say much, but at least it shows some effort to bring the other person up to speed on why they've fallen off the radar. Failing to provide a response for weeks -- if not months -- communicates that you are just not a priority, and that you'll have to wait your turn to get this individual's attention. This is n...
6 comments
Read more

Do you have Isolophilia? Find out...

You're probably asking yourself, "What in the world does Isolophilia mean?" It sounds like it would be something negative, doesn't it?  After all, words that end in "philia" (e.g., pedophilia) tend to involve things we want nothing to do with. But Isolophilia isn't something all people deplore. In fact, introverts like me welcome it. Put simply, Isolophilia is defined as having a strong affinity for solitude. It describes a person who relishes being alone. While extroverts can only take so much solitude, we introverts find that it rejuvenates us. In order to recharge our batteries, we need to retreat to a quiet environment where we we're left alone to rest and/or gather our thoughts. Extroverts, on the other hand, become bored and drained when they're alone for a lengthy period of time. Social interaction is the fuel that drives them. So while an extrovert would probably do anything to avoid feelings of Isolophilia in most cases, an...
6 comments
Read more

This will spell the end of your relationship

When asked to think about the most common culprits for a relationship's going south, most people will point to cheating, complacency, and taking one's partner for granted. While these are all valid -- and documented in various posts on this blog -- there are certain habits on the part of partners that may not kill the relationship right away, but cause it to erode more gradually.  Among the most egregious of these is expecting your significant other to be perfect. They pick at your follies any chance they get. Nothing you do is ever good enough. In fact, you will never measure up to an ex, neighbor, or accomplished co-worker.  Perhaps this all sounds a bit familiar.  When you feel as though you're constantly being put under the microscope, it can inflict lasting damage on the relationship and your self-esteem. You're walking on eggshells all the time, praying you don't say or do something that's going to trigger your partner. This is no way to live, let alone ca...
Post a Comment
Read more