People should never hurt others

It goes without saying that people should never try to hurt others deliberately.

Even if someone has hurt or deceived you first -- say, by spreading a rumor about you or cheating on you -- seeking retribution isn't going to make you feel better. If anything, you would be stooping down to their level, making the resentment you feel toward them fester longer.

Instead, show you're above such pettiness by speaking privately with them and reaffirming your expectations.

If they apologize for what they did, and you wish to salvage the relationship, make it clear to them that you will not carry on unless you're given the respect you deserve.

If they do not apologize, or if you're simply at wit's end, make it clear that you want nothing to do with them anymore. (Walking away without declaring your intentions is also your prerogative.)

If you want to convey that you're fed up with someone, indifference is far more effective than getting all worked up, as the latter communicates that you still care enough to feel anger and attempt to get back at them.

Just because you don't fight back doesn't mean you are weak. It means you're mature enough to recognize anger won't solve anything. It means you have far bigger fish to fry, from indulging your hobbies to spending time with those who wish to enrich your life rather than hurt you.

No one should ever take pleasure in others' misfortune, even if they did something to foment bitterness in you. Trying to get even is a recipe for even more bickering and hostility, and what good can possibly come from that?

Let karma do its magic. Someday, somehow, someone will do the same to them, at which point they'll be reminded of the pain they caused you.

In the meantime, you have the right to assert -- as contrite as they may seem -- that you will not allow them to hurt your feelings again, and if they continue to pull that stunt on you, you won't hesitate to pull the plug on the relationship.

It all goes back to the golden rule we learned as kids: We should all treat one another the way we want to be treated.

Comments

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