Skip to main content

When staying in a relationship doesn't make sense

Whether you've been with someone for a long time or only just recently began dating them, you may find yourself doing just about everything you can to keep the relationship strong.

Sadly, not everyone is similarly disposed.

Staying in a relationship makes no sense when you are the only one investing in it -- physically, mentally, and emotionally.

Relationships cannot maintain themselves. Just like an air conditioner or refrigerator can't operate without routine maintenance, a relationship is not self-sustaining.

Moreover, it isn't fair for only one person to shoulder all the work. Each partner deserves to feel loved and appreciated. Each person should feel as though the other has their best interests at heart.

Sticking around and hoping they'll change is not a risk worth taking when they've shown time and time again that what you see is what you'll get.

They don't have to say a word; their actions prove that either they're in the relationship for the wrong reasons (e.g., money, loneliness, etc.), or they simply do not value you enough to care more.

The more time and energy you spend on the individual, the less you have available for other people you care about in your life, not to mention a wonderful man or woman who could appear in your life at any given moment and potentially make a much better partner.

If telling them how you feel bears no fruit and they seem unwilling to contribute to the relationship in any tangible way, it is time to walk away.

You can take comfort in the fact that you tried your best, but your partner failed to reciprocate the time, love, and care you gave the ill-fated relationship.

As I've noted previously, it's always better to be single than in an unhealthy relationship that diminishes your self-esteem rather than enhances it. Your partner should bring you delight, not misery.

When one genuinely values their partner, they'll do nothing that can put the relationship at risk. Or, once they've realized their mistakes, take swift action to right the ship -- and never return to their selfish, inconsiderate ways.

Know your worth. Never allow anyone to take you for granted. You deserve to be happy. 

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

This will spell the end of your relationship

When asked to think about the most common culprits for a relationship's going south, most people will point to cheating, complacency, and taking one's partner for granted. While these are all valid -- and documented in various posts on this blog -- there are certain habits on the part of partners that may not kill the relationship right away, but cause it to erode more gradually.  Among the most egregious of these is expecting your significant other to be perfect. They pick at your follies any chance they get. Nothing you do is ever good enough. In fact, you will never measure up to an ex, neighbor, or accomplished co-worker.  Perhaps this all sounds a bit familiar.  When you feel as though you're constantly being put under the microscope, it can inflict lasting damage on the relationship and your self-esteem. You're walking on eggshells all the time, praying you don't say or do something that's going to trigger your partner. This is no way to live, let alone ca

No response from someone IS a response

Make no mistake about it: When you don't get a response from someone -- whether they fail to answer your texts or return your phone calls -- it is  still a response, and a powerful one at that. When a person fails to respond, it's a direct reflection of their interest -- or lack thereof -- in the relationship. Few things are more aggravating than having to hound a partner, friend, or relative for some sort of reply after we've reached out to them. Yes, we get busy from time to time, but that doesn't give anyone the right to leave the other person hanging. A terse text with something like "Been busy, will reach out soon" doesn't say much, but at least it shows some effort to bring the other person up to speed on why they've fallen off the radar. Failing to provide a response for weeks -- if not months -- communicates that you are just not a priority, and that you'll have to wait your turn to get this individual's attention. This is n

Misconceptions about quiet people

Earlier today, I came across a Facebook page that features motivational quotes intended to improve people's moods and enhance their overall self-esteem. Interestingly, I noticed two quotes that focus specifically on quiet people: "Be afraid of quiet people; they're the ones who actually think." "The quietest people have the loudest minds." I've observed that most people's views of quiet individuals can fall under one of two categories: 1. The ones who say quiet people are antisocial, suspicious, snobbish, and/or full of themselves. 2. The people who say their introspective nature and propensity to be deep in thought makes them smarter than their more garrulous peers. The quotes above speak to this mindset. As an introvert known to be quiet at work and at social functions where I might not know anyone, I feel I'm well positioned to dispel any inaccuracies surrounding quiet folks. First of all, the above statements misguidedly put