The difference between being liked and being valued

A person may like you, but that doesn't necessarily mean they value you.

So what's the difference?

Someone can like you and still take you for granted, treat you with disdain, and run the relationship into the ground.

In other words, whether a person likes you or not says nothing about their willingness to invest in and commit to the relationship.

One can like that someone possesses certain attributes -- whether ambition, a sense of humor, integrity, or loyalty -- and still not value them as a person.

Take cheaters. Do you really think that people who cheat on their partners don't like them? On the contrary, despite their transgressions, many assert that they love and would do anything for their significant others!

However, the mere fact they would even entertain the idea of cheating demonstrates they don't value the person in the slightest. If they did, they would know to put on the brakes and not risk jeopardizing the relationship.

We also see this play out in friendships. Usually, a friend doesn't stab another in the back because they don't like them as a person. They tend to do it out of selfishness or jealousy, proving in the end that they assigned very little value to said friendship.

And in the workplace, people step over each other all the time because they value work relationships insofar as they help them grow professionally. Your worker may see you as likeable, but if taking credit for your work will allow them to move up the ranks, they'll do it.

We need to take a hard look at the people in our lives and determine whether they genuinely value us.

You do this by comparing what they say to what they actually do.

Do their actions back up their words? Do they invest their time and energy -- however limited -- into making the relationship stronger, even if it's with an occasional text or call?

The fact of the matter is that people who don't value a relationship aren't as concerned about seeing it go down the drain.

Sure, some may come to regret their actions, but in many cases they're cognizant of what they're doing and yet they choose to proceed.

Furthermore, just because someone may not recognize your worth doesn't mean your value decreases.

There are people who will in fact acknowledge your worth and prize all you do for them and the relationship itself.

Remember: Just because someone likes you doesn't mean they're willing to do their part to cultivate a strong, lasting relationship.

Comments

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