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Here's where happiness REALLY comes from

Soulmates. Finding the one. Our other half.

The media, Hollywood, and even certain people we know peddle this notion that unless we're partnered up, we're not truly happy with our lives -- even if we don't realize it yet. They insist that unless we're in a relationship, we're just not whole.

That's just total malarkey.

They'd be surprised to learn that there are many people in the world who prefer being by themselves.

Whether they've been burned in the past by an ex or merely relish living on their own, these individuals are single by choice -- not necessarily because they can't find any worthwhile suitors.

Furthermore, regardless of whether they're single, in a relationship, or married, many people believe that a partner has a responsibility to "complete" them.

This is totally false as well.

A partner should be seen as a welcome enhancement, but not as a missing piece to complete your life puzzle.

The fact that someone would look to a partner to complete them implies there's something missing to begin with.

Unfortunately, a person sets themselves up for real heartache by making their happiness dependent on others' behavior, which will not always be to their liking.

As I've emphasized in other posts, happiness stems from within us. This means that external things like material objects, jobs, and even relationships can enrich our lives, but they can't fulfill us entirely.

Happiness is what we make of it. It can be as simple as a cup of hot coffee on a cold day. It can be seeing a needy person's face light up after giving them money. It can be learning something new from a YouTube video you watched.

But when you assert that you won't be happy unless you have (fill in the blank), you're making your happiness contingent upon an external source.

And what happens if and once things don't work out with said source?

That shiny car you love could very well be totaled in an accident someday. Your company might lay you off at a moment's notice and eliminate what you considered to be a dream job. And your partner, to your dismay, can break up with or cheat on you.

Mental and emotional self-reliance is the surest path to achieving happiness. 

 It doesn't mean you hate others or care only about yourself. It just means that even if these external forces don't come through for you in some way (which is likely to happen sooner or later), you'll still be pleasantly content with your life.

The key, then, is to explore ways to arrive at a happy place in your life without becoming dependent on any one thing or person.
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