Skip to main content

A happier life means having to do THIS

Can you guess what holds many people back from fulfilling their potential and leading a happy life?

It's none other than their past.

In the worst cases, the past can be a heavy anchor that pins us down, holds us back, and impedes our growth.

People perceive their past differently, sometimes depending on how things are going for them in the present. 

If things are not that great right now, they may view their past quite favorably, always lamenting that they wish things could be as they were in the "good old days."

Then there are those who find it difficult to move past bad experiences. For example, those who went through a bad break-up might become paranoid about entering into a new relationship, turning down opportunities to go out with ostensibly promising suitors. They vow to never trust or give their heart to anyone again. 

But we can never be truly happy unless we learn to let go of the past.

The more you allow the past to paralyze or haunt you, the more the present will pass you by, essentially preventing you from soaking up new experiences and creating new memories.

We have to come to terms with reality: All we can do with the past is learn from it so that we can make the most of the present while shaping a bright future for ourselves.

Whether you're reminiscing constantly about how good things were earlier in your relationship or thinking back to all the terrible things your ex did to you, harping on the past impedes your growth.

It prevents you from relishing new experiences with your partner or taking the first steps toward getting out on the dating market again following a long hiatus. 

Don't beat yourself up over mistakes you've made. We all make them! All you can do is learn from them and move forward. 

Letting go does not mean erasing memories. It simply means you're ready to create new ones. 

Think of your past as a building block -- a chapter of your life story that will only continue to get better so long as you carry on. 

Instead of wishing you could undo bad experiences, be thankful for them -- as they made you into the stronger person you are today. And rather than getting hung up on those moments you cherish, remind yourself that there are plenty more awaiting you. 

Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be. 

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

No response from someone IS a response

Make no mistake about it: When you don't get a response from someone -- whether they fail to answer your texts or return your phone calls -- it is  still a response, and a powerful one at that. When a person fails to respond, it's a direct reflection of their interest -- or lack thereof -- in the relationship. Few things are more aggravating than having to hound a partner, friend, or relative for some sort of reply after we've reached out to them. Yes, we get busy from time to time, but that doesn't give anyone the right to leave the other person hanging. A terse text with something like "Been busy, will reach out soon" doesn't say much, but at least it shows some effort to bring the other person up to speed on why they've fallen off the radar. Failing to provide a response for weeks -- if not months -- communicates that you are just not a priority, and that you'll have to wait your turn to get this individual's attention. This is n...

Do you have Isolophilia? Find out...

You're probably asking yourself, "What in the world does Isolophilia mean?" It sounds like it would be something negative, doesn't it?  After all, words that end in "philia" (e.g., pedophilia) tend to involve things we want nothing to do with. But Isolophilia isn't something all people deplore. In fact, introverts like me welcome it. Put simply, Isolophilia is defined as having a strong affinity for solitude. It describes a person who relishes being alone. While extroverts can only take so much solitude, we introverts find that it rejuvenates us. In order to recharge our batteries, we need to retreat to a quiet environment where we we're left alone to rest and/or gather our thoughts. Extroverts, on the other hand, become bored and drained when they're alone for a lengthy period of time. Social interaction is the fuel that drives them. So while an extrovert would probably do anything to avoid feelings of Isolophilia in most cases, an...

This will spell the end of your relationship

When asked to think about the most common culprits for a relationship's going south, most people will point to cheating, complacency, and taking one's partner for granted. While these are all valid -- and documented in various posts on this blog -- there are certain habits on the part of partners that may not kill the relationship right away, but cause it to erode more gradually.  Among the most egregious of these is expecting your significant other to be perfect. They pick at your follies any chance they get. Nothing you do is ever good enough. In fact, you will never measure up to an ex, neighbor, or accomplished co-worker.  Perhaps this all sounds a bit familiar.  When you feel as though you're constantly being put under the microscope, it can inflict lasting damage on the relationship and your self-esteem. You're walking on eggshells all the time, praying you don't say or do something that's going to trigger your partner. This is no way to live, let alone ca...