The worst kind of punishment you can inflict on someone is...

What would you say is the worst kind of punishment you can inflict on someone?

While many might feel it's delivering physical abuse (e.g., beating the person up), I firmly believe that mental and emotional damage can be far more difficult to rebound from. Such wounds can take far longer to heal.

When it comes to indifference, stop for a moment and think about just how painful it must be to realize that someone near and dear to your heart -- whether it's your partner, friend, or a family member -- couldn't care less about you anymore.

Such indifference could come in many forms, with unanswered texts or calls chief among them. Perhaps you don't get a call on your birthday from the individual, or even after just having gone through a trying experience (e.g., emergency surgery or a death in the family).

It could very well be that we forgot the person's birthday, weren't there when they needed us, or had a huge argument with them, and now they've cut off all contact.

After repeated (and failed) attempts to reestablish communication, one may get the hint that the other person has become wholly apathetic -- an impenetrable wall that not even the most contrite text or voice message can cut into.

We spend weeks -- if not months -- second guessing our decisions, agonizing over why someone could just toss us into the garbage like a worn rag.

Many people would probably prefer for a relationship to end outright following a nasty fight (even if fists are involved) than to be left on the edge of their seat because the other person has seemingly vanished. At least in the former scenario, you get a sense of closure.

Once it becomes apparent that the individual wants nothing to do with us, we have no choice but to move on. It goes without saying that spending inordinate amounts of time ruminating about what happened and holding out for a reconciliation isn't healthy.

Once someone decides to walk, we must respect that decision -- just as we would expect them to respect our choice to do the same.

The realization that we mean nothing to someone can be utterly devastating. It's no wonder so many movies and songs revolve around jaded lovers who quietly pull the plug on their relationship and cease to maintain contact, sometimes blindsiding their partner completely.

In conclusion, indifference -- rather than hate -- can arguably be regarded as the opposite of hate. At least when one hates, they still care to a certain extent.

No response from someone IS a response

Make no mistake about it: When you don't get a response from someone -- whether they fail to answer your texts or return your phone calls -- it is still a response, and a powerful one at that. When a person fails to respond, it's a direct reflection of their interest -- or lack thereof -- in the relationship. Few things are more aggravating than having to hound a partner, friend, or relative for some sort of reply after we've reached out to them. Yes, we get busy from time to time, but that doesn't give anyone the right to leave the other person hanging. A terse text with something like "Been busy, will reach out soon" doesn't say much, but at least it shows some effort to bring the other person up to speed on why they've fallen off the radar. Failing to provide a response for weeks -- if not months -- communicates that you are just not a priority, and that you'll have to wait your turn to get this individual's attention. This is n...

Do you have Isolophilia? Find out...

You're probably asking yourself, "What in the world does Isolophilia mean?" It sounds like it would be something negative, doesn't it? After all, words that end in "philia" (e.g., pedophilia) tend to involve things we want nothing to do with. But Isolophilia isn't something all people deplore. In fact, introverts like me welcome it. Put simply, Isolophilia is defined as having a strong affinity for solitude. It describes a person who relishes being alone. While extroverts can only take so much solitude, we introverts find that it rejuvenates us. In order to recharge our batteries, we need to retreat to a quiet environment where we we're left alone to rest and/or gather our thoughts. Extroverts, on the other hand, become bored and drained when they're alone for a lengthy period of time. Social interaction is the fuel that drives them. So while an extrovert would probably do anything to avoid feelings of Isolophilia in most cases, an...

This will spell the end of your relationship

When asked to think about the most common culprits for a relationship's going south, most people will point to cheating, complacency, and taking one's partner for granted. While these are all valid -- and documented in various posts on this blog -- there are certain habits on the part of partners that may not kill the relationship right away, but cause it to erode more gradually. Among the most egregious of these is expecting your significant other to be perfect. They pick at your follies any chance they get. Nothing you do is ever good enough. In fact, you will never measure up to an ex, neighbor, or accomplished co-worker. Perhaps this all sounds a bit familiar. When you feel as though you're constantly being put under the microscope, it can inflict lasting damage on the relationship and your self-esteem. You're walking on eggshells all the time, praying you don't say or do something that's going to trigger your partner. This is no way to live, let alone ca...

How To Understand People

Search This Blog