Don't depend on people or things to be happy

Never depend on anyone or anything to feel fulfilled in life. That includes:

Your partner
Your kids
Your friends
Your job/employer
Your hobbies

The operative word here is "depend."

We depend on food, water, and oxygen for survival.

When it comes the examples listed above, they can certainly enhance our lives, but life satisfaction shouldn't depend on any one of them.

As we all know, things and people can change at the drop of a hat:

Your partner could cheat on or fall out of love with you
Your kids may distance themselves from you (or even grow to dislike you) as they get older
Shifting priorities may water down your relationships
You can be laid off at any given moment, or you may come to hate your job over time
You can throw your back, rendering you unable to play football or other games you may enjoy
The car, watch, or mug you love so much could break unexpectedly

I'm not saying these things will most definitely happen, but there's always the possibility that a person or situation may change when least expected -- and not always favorably.

While we should strive to get the most out of our relationships and hobbies, we should never depend on them so heavily that if something were to go awry, we would feel overcome by deep sadness. (This, of course, doesn't apply to circumstances like death and illness, for which grieving is completely justified.)

We should try our best to cultivate a slew of interests and relationships so that if we hit roadblocks with one of them, we can redirect our energies to a different one.

Indeed, life is all about remaining flexible -- and adapting to changing circumstances.

We should always appreciate the things and people we love, but we should never assume that they will remain the same forever. More importantly, we should never feel that we cannot be happy without them.

As I've stressed in various posts, happiness stems from within. Attaching your happiness to things and people is a recipe for disappointment.

Comments

Ruben Escotto said…

Attachment is the root of all suffering.
Buda

September 13, 2018 at 3:25 PM

No response from someone IS a response

Make no mistake about it: When you don't get a response from someone -- whether they fail to answer your texts or return your phone calls -- it is still a response, and a powerful one at that. When a person fails to respond, it's a direct reflection of their interest -- or lack thereof -- in the relationship. Few things are more aggravating than having to hound a partner, friend, or relative for some sort of reply after we've reached out to them. Yes, we get busy from time to time, but that doesn't give anyone the right to leave the other person hanging. A terse text with something like "Been busy, will reach out soon" doesn't say much, but at least it shows some effort to bring the other person up to speed on why they've fallen off the radar. Failing to provide a response for weeks -- if not months -- communicates that you are just not a priority, and that you'll have to wait your turn to get this individual's attention. This is n...

Do you have Isolophilia? Find out...

You're probably asking yourself, "What in the world does Isolophilia mean?" It sounds like it would be something negative, doesn't it? After all, words that end in "philia" (e.g., pedophilia) tend to involve things we want nothing to do with. But Isolophilia isn't something all people deplore. In fact, introverts like me welcome it. Put simply, Isolophilia is defined as having a strong affinity for solitude. It describes a person who relishes being alone. While extroverts can only take so much solitude, we introverts find that it rejuvenates us. In order to recharge our batteries, we need to retreat to a quiet environment where we we're left alone to rest and/or gather our thoughts. Extroverts, on the other hand, become bored and drained when they're alone for a lengthy period of time. Social interaction is the fuel that drives them. So while an extrovert would probably do anything to avoid feelings of Isolophilia in most cases, an...

This will spell the end of your relationship

When asked to think about the most common culprits for a relationship's going south, most people will point to cheating, complacency, and taking one's partner for granted. While these are all valid -- and documented in various posts on this blog -- there are certain habits on the part of partners that may not kill the relationship right away, but cause it to erode more gradually. Among the most egregious of these is expecting your significant other to be perfect. They pick at your follies any chance they get. Nothing you do is ever good enough. In fact, you will never measure up to an ex, neighbor, or accomplished co-worker. Perhaps this all sounds a bit familiar. When you feel as though you're constantly being put under the microscope, it can inflict lasting damage on the relationship and your self-esteem. You're walking on eggshells all the time, praying you don't say or do something that's going to trigger your partner. This is no way to live, let alone ca...

How To Understand People

Search This Blog