Many people assume that material possessions are essential to securing happiness, but this couldn't be farther from the truth.
In fact, here are two rules of thumb for achieving a more fulfilling life:
1. Use things, not people.
2. Love people, not things.
It goes without saying that using people -- especially by trifling with their feelings -- is unacceptable. Save for cheating, stealing, or inflicting physical harm, taking advantage of others is the surest way to run your relationship with them into the ground.
Now, just because you use things doesn't mean you have to place your happiness in them.
Material stuff -- from fancy cars to high-end watches-- serve to make us look stylish and our lives easier in many ways.
But such things wear and tear. No sooner do you get excited about owning the object than you're already planning what you'll buy next. Indeed, the novelty of owing stuff is only ephemeral.
A nice pair of shoes won't comfort you after a rough day or make you any less uneasy about an upcoming exam or doctor's visit.
People we care about -- whether our kids or closest friends -- can help calm our fears or relieve feelings of depression we may experience from time to time. That being said, they should enrich our lives far more than a pair of snazzy earrings ever could. (If that's not the case, something is amiss.)
To be fair, there are certain things we can love because we're attached to them on a deeper level -- one that goes beyond their purely functional attributes. For example, an old blanket passed down three generations in your family may hold a special place in your heart.
Or perhaps you have an extensive collection of books or coins that you've been amassing since you were a child.
But having to own the latest iPhone or newest Louis Vuitton purse even though yours is barely a year old? That's excessive and typifies a problem many people grapple with: It isn't so much about owning something as it is satisfying the appetite to acquire something new -- often before their peers do.
Even for those who recognize that material objects should be secondary to friends and loved ones, it's important to remember that even people don't complete us.
Never should anyone be relied upon to fix our problems. While they can provide an attentive ear or shoulder to lean on -- which can definitely come in handy when we're in a dark place in our lives -- true happiness comes from within.
In other words, while others can make our lives happier, we should never convince ourselves that without them our lives will never be whole.
And when we talk about loving people, that really starts with us. We can't love others until we love ourselves.
In short, material objects could/should never be as valuable as our relationships with the people we love, but those relationships can't take root and flourish until we develop and sustain a love for ourselves.
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